Dealing with Difficult People

by | Mar 15, 2015 | Coaching Advice, People Skills

5There is simply no getting around the fact that difficult people will be in your life, but what about when they’re your boss? Or your partner? Or your most talented staff member? That’s when things get sticky for most of us. And by sticky I mean that the level of stress in our live pops the charts and we find life a lot less pleasant. What’s a reasonable person to do?

Yes, THEY are nuts. What are YOU going to do about it?

Well, let me give you the simple answer – stop being your part of the problem and take responsibility for aligning the relationship for productivity. Notice that I didn’t say “fix” the relationship? Your only job is to get to the point where the two of you get stuff done without giving each other an ulcer. That’s it.

You see, all relationships take two people and even though (giving you the benefit of the doubt) you probably ARE being the more reasonable person, if you really want to establish a positive working relationship you have to do your part. Shouldn’t they change too? Yes, but they’ll change a lot more easily if you start the process.


But what is it that get so unaligned? I mean, aren’t you doing your best? Aren’t you trying to look past their stupidity? Unreasonableness? Wrong-headedness? Of course, but after trying for a while DOING isn’t the answer and BEING is. So how do you BE in a difficult relationship in a way that the two of you can function? Here is the answer – simply get aligned on these three things:

  • Emotions
  • Beliefs
  • Intentions & Expectations

Easy peasy, right? Well, of course not. Otherwise you’d have done it already. But there is a way. Unload your baggage and notice how much easier are to deal with.

Not sure how to dump your own bags so you can be a better partner in relationship? Start here!

Dana Theus

Dana Theus

Dana Theus is an executive coach specializing in helping you activate your highest potential to succeed and to shine. With her support emerging and established leaders, especially women, take powerful, high-road shortcuts to developing their authentic leadership style and discovering new levels of confidence and impact. Dana has worked for Fortune 50 companies, entrepreneurial tech startups, government and military agencies and non-profits and she has taught graduate-level courses for several Universities. learn more

Recent Posts

Can you get to the top without playing office politics?

Can you get to the top without playing office politics?

Office politics is as much a part of work as drawing a salary. And yet, I don’t know anyone who wants more of it. In fact, many clients come to me because they feel stymied in their career advancement goals because they perceive “office politics” to be getting in...

Career Coaching Tip: The Limits of Empathy

Career Coaching Tip: The Limits of Empathy

Early in my career, empathy was my ace-in-the-hole management technique. I was all business when it came to helping my team on technical, process and performance issues, but if they had an emotional reaction or issue, I reverted to empathy because it was the easy...

How To Get Through The Never Ending To-Do List

How To Get Through The Never Ending To-Do List

I’m a list maker. There’s something very gratifying for me to be able to cross things off my “list”. They’re done. Finished. It feels good and satisfying. I’m sure those of you who are list-makers can relate. But what about the task list that never ends? The one that...

Coaching Resources