6 Lessons Learned on the Work-Life Jungle Gym

Sheryl Sandberg contributed many valuable insights to professional women in her book, Lean In. The one that hit me most squarely was her analogy of a career as a jungle gym instead of a ladder. Truer words have never been written, and I think this is a major contribution to the discussion of work-life “balance.”

The current mythology of success defines our career journey as a climb up the ladder. The ladder represents many things – all artifacts of the hierarchically structured industrial age economy (which, by the way, is being radically restructured as I write). The higher we go on the mythical ladder, the more money, influence, power and respect we get. This is why when women (and men!) “opt off” the ladder to pursue a more “balanced” work-life, the mythology defines them as unsuccessful until they acquire those same top-o-the-ladder treats via other means.

But what happens when you take away the ladder analogy and replace it with something resembling a jungle gym? A more integrated, geometric structure that offers progression in many directions, just not all at once?

When the analogy shifts, so do the definitions of success. In a jungle gym analogy, many of the same kinds of success are attainable, but not in any particular order. Our personal journey to find them becomes an individual search for “what’s next” in multiple directions instead of what’s next on a defined path. Our path becomes our own and our definition of success does too.

I noticed this personally when I opted out of the ladder in my 30’s. I had checked the box on many of the “success criteria” the ladder had to offer me. Going higher held less of an interesting challenge to me that branching off into an unknown, where I have in fact grown more as a professional and a person. Here is what I’ve noticed along the way about the realities of climbing the jungle gym (and I believe these also apply to those still on the ladder if they want them to):

• Money comes and goes. It’s only the goal or definition of success if you want it to be. How important to you is money (and the things it can buy), really?
• There’s nothing more perplexing – or disciplining – than discovering you can have anything you want as soon as you decide and devote tremendous focused energy on acquiring it. If you can have anything, what do you want? How hard is it to admit that there are some things you don’t want enough to do the work to get it?
• Sometimes when you branch out in new directions, climbing upside down (or working at home) for example, you use new muscles in new ways – and they get sore until they get used to this new way of being. But then after a while you know how to climb upside down whenever you want to. What new muscles might you decide to use?
• Leadership expands. It’s not just about people doing what you need them to do to fulfill your team’s goals, it also becomes doing what you want them to do for any reason whatsoever. What do you want people to do?
• It’s easier to track success by looking at how many new skills you master as a person, including those that a company might not value, but that you do. What do you value only because it’s what you value?
• You have the option to chart your own path, which can make you look crazy at times (climbing upside down, for example). If you need the approval of others to be happy, this may not work so well for you.  What are you willing to look crazy for?

Are you on the ladder or the jungle gym? What’s your experience and where are you going? Please share!

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