There is nothing that will ruin your day or drain your energy faster than having to deal with a jerk at work. You know whom I’m talking about.
The guy who slams a door in your face.
The gal who yells.
The guy who throws a temper tantrum when you disagree with him.
Yes, it would be great if this kind of thing didn’t happen. Yet it happens all too often (I worked with someone who did all of these things and more for 8 years) and without human resources coming to the rescue. Even if HR intervenes, dealing with a jerk at work takes a lot of energy and suppresses your productivity and creativity.
They call these jerks “vampires” for a reason. They suck you dry of energy and creativity. Until the difficult person gets sent packing and even if they don’t, you have to deal with him or her. Here are some practical tips for navigating jerk-ism and sailing through your day with a smile on your face and your energy and productivity in tact.
Don’t Take It Personally
I know it’s hard when someone yells at you or slams a door in your face to not take it personally. It is, however, essential. If you want to get on your with your day and create excellent results, you must let it go and not take it personally.
I recently re-read “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Agreement #2 is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” In his words:
When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.
When we take someone’s behavior personally we wallow in self-doubt, anger, fear, or a myriad of other streams of thought that take us away from the task at hand. We wonder when HR will reprimand her. We think about revenge. We do everything but focus on performing in excellence.
How do you not take things personally? You recognize that none of what the jerk says is true. Their opinion of you is not true because opinions are not true. They are simply that person’s opinions.
You may think, “but that person will spread those opinions to others and ruin my reputation.” This is where we open the door for fear to enter. We believe that person will ruin my career. We must stop them. These seem like valid concerns.
Before you yourself travel the bunny trail of worry STOP. Don’t react. Instead respond if necessary to clear up the facts. Then get back to work. The facts are in your performance. This is great news because it’s the only thing you can control.
Now that you are not take this person’s behavior personally, let’s dive into some practical strategies to get back on track and moving forward.
Reclaim Your Power and Pose With These Easy Steps
A confrontation with a jerky colleague is disruptive. The key to igniting your productivity and performance is to get back on track quickly. Here are 3 easy steps to get your day back on track.
1. Re-center yourself with deep breathing. When dealing with a jerk, your blood pressure rises, your body releases cortisol and your heart beats faster. This is your fight or flight response in action. The key to getting back to work is switching back into your rest, relaxation and healing mode where you can focus and get some real work done. (No this does not mean get a cocktail and put your feet up, I have a faster solution). Breathing is your body’s reset button.
Take a deep breath in through your nose so it’s nice and slow. Fill up your belly first. Hold for 2 seconds, and then slowly exhale. Do this 3-5 times.
2. Respond appropriately and with the facts. Sometimes our encounters with the workplace jerk are something that needs to be escalated. The person’s behavior isn’t just an annoyance to you but truly harms the workplace. In that case, respond appropriately.
That means not engaging in gossip with all your other co-workers. Don’t rehash what happened with everyone in your life. That won’t heal the matter.
Instead, talk to someone who can address the matter. Whether that is human resources or your boss, tell them what happened. Stick to the facts and you’ll have more credibility. Be brief. Be clear. You want them to get what happened and why it shouldn’t be tolerated. Anything else is a distraction.
3. Get into the productivity vortex. Before you sit back down to get to work, step into your productivity vortex. We all have a zone where we are operating at peak. Like any star athlete, you likely have a routine to get into that zone. If you aren’t aware of one, start to observe what things help you get back into peak performance. Some great options are: stretching, going for a walk, drinking a class of water, reading inspirational quotes, watching funny videos or playing a video game for 5 minutes. Experiment and find what works for you.
Work is no fun when there is a jerk around. However, they don’t have to ruin your day or make you skip a beat in your project. Remember to start with not taking it personally.
How will you address the jerk in your office today?
Originally on: The Ignite Wellbeing Institute
