Dear Dana Workplace Advice: Self Care for Leaders During Layoffs

Welcome to “Dear Dana”, our weekly column to give you career and workplace advice/coaching. Please write in and tell me about a career challenge or frustration you’re facing at the office! – Dana Theus

Dear Dana, I am uncomfortable even writing about this but my company is going through some rough times and I think we’re going to have to lay off some people. My team has grown a lot in the last couple of years and I worry that makes us one of the first groups to be cut. I’ve lived through layoffs before and it made me sick. Like physically ill. I am so worried that I’m already starting to feel sick again, and the leadership hasn’t even started talking about cutting people. What should I do? Any self care for leaders advice? – Sick in Cincinnati

Dear Trying-to-be-well,

Thanks for writing in with your question about self care for leaders. You’re bringing to light a truth about layoffs that is often overlooked. During a layoff there is a lot of focus on helping those who will be let go move on to their next career step, but we forget that the people left behind can be under at least as much stress. Not only may you have more work as certain jobs remain unfilled, but you may have guilt and discomfort related to how the layoff decisions were made, who was let go and who wasn’t. While such “survivor’s guilt” is common among the general workforce, team leaders often experience it too. Yet it’s even less comfortable for leaders to get support because they usually believe their role is to support everyone else and help the team focus on the work ahead.

And this is their job, but it doesn’t mean leaders don’t have the right to feel upset and to take steps to manage their own stress too. Here are some self care for leaders do’s and don’ts in preparing to handle layoffs with grace and a manageable amount of stress (it’s unrealistic to expect no stress, but you can absolutely reduce the amount you take on.)

DO: Accept That Every Job Is Temporary For Everyone And Your Job Is To Help People In Their Transition

 Things aren’t like the old days where employees worked at the same place their whole career. Today the average job tenure in the private sector is under five years so it’s more likely that many on your team would be moving on in the near future anyway. A layoff is a forcing event that takes the choice out of their move, and this is unfortunate, but the reality of looking for a new job is going to be inevitable. Your best strategy is to adopt the mindset that a layoff will provide opportunity for people who take the attitude that the layoff is helping them onto their next gig. Your best contribution to their positive future will be to help them make the transition to the best of your ability.

A company once hired me to help their employees find jobs during a layoff. We planned ahead and gave people resources, workshops and opportunities to seek work “on the job” as the layoff date came closer. This approach worked great for my client, but it isn’t always possible for companies to provide so much notice and support. Still, the leadership mindset of trying to support peoples’ efforts to move on helped my client retain some good talent in other groups and created good will.

DO:  Let Go Of Your Own Guilt

It’s totally normal to feel some guilt if people are being let go through no fault of their own. Whether it’s survivor’s guilt, discomfort for being the one that must deliver the bad news or some combination of the two, you’ll do them more good in their transition and keep yourself in better shape, if you let go of as much guilt as you can.

You can vent and share your feelings with others outside the company (see below) to help you, but your best chance of really releasing the negative guilt feelings is to detrigger them completely. Detriggering is a great skill to help you manage all kinds of stress anyway so if layoffs are your forcing event, then use this as the opportunity to learn to transform negative emotional energy into a positive force in your life.

DON’T Make This Situation About You With The People You Lead

Yes, you have a right to do things to manage your own stress and engage in self-care as a leader, but you need to do so in service of yourself and the people you lead. Get yourself some good friends, a coach or a therapist who are outside the company to talk to about your stress so you don’t pile it on to those in your workplace.

It’s not about your stress or theirs, it’s about both. Just be careful to manage your stress in ways that leaves you clear and focused when you’re at work. This makes you a better leader and it burnishes your personal brand for those who see how you act under pressure, which can help you in your own career ambitions.

DON’T Think That Taking On So Much Stress Makes You A Hero

The thing that concerns me most about your note is that you got so stressed last time you experienced layoffs that you got physically ill. this tells me you’d benefit from learning good stress management techniques whether you are headed for a layoff again, or not.

Self-care for leaders is a critical skill in its own right, regardless of the circumstances. Stress eats up a lot of energy that you would otherwise spend being an effective leader and being a healthy person. I strongly suggest that you invest in shoring up your own stress management skills before the possibility of layoffs becomes real. This will help you generally and position you well in case layoffs are inevitable. Here are some resources that will help you.

Good luck and be well!

Dana Theus

Executive Coach

Updated from 2017 – sadly layoffs are a perpetual issue!