Feedback is so important to our careers and effectiveness, and yet it freaks so many of us out. What can we do to get better at giving and receiving feedback? – InPower Editors
When you think about it, giving and receiving feedback is pretty much all communication is. You talk. I listen. Then I respond to what you said, providing you feedback on how well I heard you. You listen and respond to me, etc. This continuous feedback loop usually just looks like two people having a conversation – until one of us calls it “feedback” and then we get all skittish and nervous and – afraid.
I was listening to a great Marketplace.org segment on the dreaded performance review recently (and how useless it is.) It occurred to me that if leaders were more adept at including overt feedback in their daily discussions we’d all be better at getting better on a regular basis. We wouldn’t wait around for “official feedback deadlines” to give or receive feedback.
Why does feedback freak us all out? In my coaching practice I see the answer every day. Fear. When we think about giving feedback we immediately think of all the negative stuff we want to tell people and get anxious because we don’t want to start a fight, deal with their defensiveness or have to disappoint others with our criticism.
When the shoe’s on the other foot and we think about receiving feedback, we start to feel defensive and angry – sometimes even before the other person has opened their mouth.
Learning to give and receive fearless feedback, then, is key to improving ourselves and giving our teams the opportunity to improve themselves at the same time.
Here’s a little video I made on the subject with 3 tips to providing Fearless Feedback
The video above was part of a member lesson with a worksheet and personal development exercise. Join our membership community for more lessons like this every month!
Take charge of your career development to get the job that supports your work and your life. Check out the tools and resources in the InPower Coaching Career Center.
