The term “managing up” sometimes gets a bad rap. It can seem self-serving and manipulative. At Living Vicky we help young women new to the workforce overcome negative stereotypes. For entry-level young professionals we recommend taking a proactive and genuine approach to interacting with the leaders that hold your work schedule, annual review, salary increase, and career paths in their hands.
It doesn’t matter how much you love the work you do, if you don’t have a good relationship with your boss, emotions will begin to range from constant annoyance to dread. You may begin to disengage, or even become outwardly resentful. None of these feelings will build your professional reputation, and may do it harm.
As in all relationships, YOU are half of the equation. So let’s make sure you’re making a good show of your 50%.
What do you want out of a working relationship with your boss?
- Create two columns on a sheet of paper.
- Label the first column “Mutual” and the second “Me”
- In the first column, write down between 6-8 words or phrases that focus on positive aspects
Your “Mutual” list should not contain negative phrases. Try to focus on reasonable things you’d like in the relationship, as opposed to sentences that contain words like: “don’t”, “stop”, and “I hate it when”. These aren’t going to be useful to you in this exercise – or frankly, in life.
Now, let’s go on.
- Next to each item you’ve written in the first column, and under the “Me” column, list what you will do to hold up your end of the relationship
This part is going to be hard – self-reflection and accountability usually are. But once you get in the habit of being honest with yourself, it soon becomes second nature. No one likes to admit that we may be the reason for a challenging relationship. However, things like being late, making excuses, poor work quality, being unapproachable, etc., are certainly factors.
Just to be clear, we’re not saying you are the entire issue – there are plenty of “bad bosses” out there. This exercise is meant to make sure you’re doing everything in your power to own and improve your side of the relationship. This will change the way they, and everyone else, sees you.
Here are a few more ways to ensure you are an active participant in this work equation:
- Do you do just enough work to get by…or are you being proactive about offering your help to others?
- Maintaining a “can do” attitude no matter what is going on. Being great at your job is important, but your attitude is what they remember. – Click To Tweet
- Building relationships built on trust means no gossip, and defending a boss by highlighting the characteristics you do appreciate
- How well do you accept constructive criticism?
- Can you walk in your leader’s shoes and understand what may be causing behaviors that may negatively impact you?
You won’t see results in just 2 days, or 2 weeks –you’re going to have to practice these Managing Up exercises for much longer to see lasting effects. But it’s worth it. In three months, pull this list back out and see how you’re doing in both columns!
Maria is known for “Creating a Culture of Reflective Leadership,” and specializes in intercultural, diversity and inclusion skills. She facilitates learning programs on a variety of leadership issues, including managing up, communication, emotional intelligence, and team building.
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Sheila Berry is the Executive Director and Founder of Living Vicky. For more information or to contact her, visit here
