Moms know how much stress they’re under, but what does a non-mom work stress expert think? We really appreciate that Paula took a look at stress through a mother’s eyes in today’s post where she reviewed the new book by Katrina Alcorn, Maxed Out. Along the way, Paula teaches us all about stress management, whether we have kids or not. – InPower Editors
I wanted to read Maxed Out: American Moms On The Brink because it’s about one of my favorite subjects – burnout. As a recovering burnout sufferer and someone who now studies the topic for a living, I’m always eager to read new information that might help others prevent it and grow more resiliant. As a non-mom, I was also expecting to learn a little about motherhood, and I was surprised at how much I didn’t know about the difficulties of working and raising a family.
The author, Katrina Alcorn, is an engaging writer who puts the reader front and center in her quest to answer the question many women ask: “Can I raise a family and work too?” Most of my friends are going through the same thing, yet, I am often not privy to their struggles, likely because they assume they will bore me with their tales of soccer practice, doctor’s appointments, and breast feeding. I wish they would let me into their world more.
I teach professionals about the six sources of burnout and work stress that have been studied and researched by Drs. Michael Leiter and Christina Maslach. While these six sources have been studied with regard to their applicability at work, I am surprised at how well they translate to non-work. The six sources are as follows:
Lack of control: Your sense of control over what you do in undermined or limited, and you don’t have a lot of say in what’s going on.
Values conflict: There is a disconnect between your core values and the core values of “it” (“it” is work, according to the research, but could also be something bigger, like society or culture).
Insufficient reward: You feel taken for granted, not recognized and/or undercompensated (I think this describes most mom’s I’ve ever met).
Work overload: Work is too much, too complex, or too urgent.
Unfairness: You or others are treated unfairly, there is a culture of favoritism and assignments and promotions are made in an arbitrary fashion and discussed behind closed doors.
Breakdown of connection/community: You have to work with patronizing colleagues, there is no mechanism for conflict resolution, and feedback is non-existent.
Several of these sources are highlighted in Ms. Alcorn’s book. First, she distinguishes between “busy” and “Busy” when comparing her workload to non-parents. I was also struck by the research she references about productivity – for industrial workers, productivity dramatically decreases after eight hours a day; for knowledge workers, productivity decreases after just six.
Next, I was struck by the numerous examples of values conflict. Not only the conflict in values between Ms. Alcorn (“I need some flexibility) and her boss (“Flexibility to a point, then hey, I have a business to run”) but also more globally between working moms (“I’d like a private place to pump”) and Corporate America (“Try the broom closet; and p.s. I have a business to run”).
Finally, While Ms. Alcorn has a small support system in the Bay area, she mentions that her parents and family do not live nearby. My parents were fortunate to live in a cocoon of help when they raised my brother and me. One set of grandparents lived right across the street, and the other set was seven miles away. Living in a small town had its advantages as my parents knew and relied on most of their neighbors for help. When women choose to work and raise children, it really does take a village, and when they need the help of others most during this time, many are doing so with support systems that are too small.
I really enjoyed this book, and it opened my eyes to the reality many working moms face. I hope to read more about Ms. Alcorn’s world soon.
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