Making a big career move – or life change – can be anxiety-producing for many reasons. Our newest blogger, Andria Corso, sheds light on some of the head games we play with our selves when we start asking, “What will other people think about this big change?” Thanks, Andria, for showing us what happens when we don’t let that stop our big moves. ~ InPower Editors
If you’re anything like me, I’ll bet when you’re making a visible change in your life or making a big (or small) decision to do something different or new, you occasionally wonder, “what will other people think?” What will other people think of my decision and how I am living my life…? If you’re not at all like that and these thoughts don’t cross your mind, I applaud you!
I remember being overwhelmed by these thoughts when I was going through my most recent career reinvention and in the process of deciding to leave my corporate career to start my own business. I wondered, what will people would think of me leaving a growing career and a great consistent paycheck from a stable company in the middle of a recession. Would they think I was crazy? Would they approve? Now, I often wonder why I cared so much, but I did.
That was almost five years ago and even today, there are things I do that cause me to step back and wonder, what will everyone think? By “everyone”, I’m referring to the proverbial “they” and “them” – you know: friends, family, colleagues, and society – all of “them”. Despite the fact that I logically know that what other people think of me is none of my business, like many women (and men too, I am sure), my brain still wrestles with wondering what others will think of the decisions and choices I make. It’s something I continue to work on as my life and business continues to grow and evolve.
The following is a short excerpt from my most recent book, Letting Go Of The Status Quo: The Liberating Exhilarating Journey of Two Women Who Reinvented Themselves and Your Guide To Do The Same, where I share the impact that being concerned with what other people think had on me and how I overcame it. As you read this, I encourage you to think about situations (past and present) where you are more concerned with what others think than with what’s best for you. Also, please note that the point here is not to discount what others think (often times, we must take into consideration how our decisions impact our loved ones), it is about keeping your fears about what others think in perspective and not allowing those fears to dictate your decision.
After I made my final decision to leave my corporate job, it would be another 8 months before things all came together so I could actually leave and launch my company, C3 Coaching & Consulting. Despite the fact that I had no children and only myself and my animals to feed, it was not easy to forego the security of a regular paycheck. I didn’t have anyone to rely on but me, and although I was very confident in my abilities to succeed at anything I put my mind to, I had no idea how to run a business, and no one to fall back on if it didn’t work.
I pushed myself through the doubts and created my action plan for my new business, C3. This plan included what I needed financially and what needed to get done when. I did a lot of research and worked with a coach during my last six months in corporate. I put my business plan together and took all the necessary steps to make sure that I was ready to hit the ground running when I left my job.
One of my biggest obstacles was getting past the chatter in my head that said, “What will everyone think?” I had to resolve that before I could even contemplate sharing my decision with anyone other than my very trusted inner circle. I knew I was doing the right thing, but worried that what other people might say would make me second-guess my decision.
Most people would think I was crazy to give up all I had: I was on a fast-moving career path climbing the ladder in a large, stable, well-run and well-known company. I had a pension, great benefits and tons of potential. So I had to remind myself what my coach said: “What others think about me is none of my business.”
I have no idea what people truly thought when I shared my news with them. I consciously decided that it was my decision and mine alone. Nothing was going to change my mind, even the naysayers and all the crazy news about the recession.
The book shares more details about how I pushed through the fear and eventually let go of what others would think of me starting my own business in the middle of a recession. The biggest learning for me was that what other people think of me is almost never about me and almost always about them. It really doesn’t matter what decision or choice you make, there will always be people around to point out what they think is wrong with your choice. That’s because it’s wrong for them, from their perspective. But you’re living your life – not theirs and owe it to yourself to make choices that are best for you – regardless of the naysayers out there. As I mentioned, I continue to wrestle with this at different times in my life and the more I find myself thinking ‘what will everyone think?’, the more I am reminded of that great quote: “You wouldn’t worry so much about what people really thought of you if you knew just how seldom they do….” (unknown)
Is this something you struggle with and if so, how do you overcome and push through being concerned about what will other people ’ think of your life choices and decisions?
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