Will You Choose To Lead From Who You Are?

by | Feb 6, 2013 | Coaching Advice, Leadership

Imagine: 

  • What it would be like to grow up in a family that is always behind on their bills.
  • To live in a home that could be featured on the television program HOARDERS.
  • To have your home burn to the ground and lose everything when you were in grade-school. 
  • Then live in a home without an indoor bathroom through high school. 
  • Being diagnosed with bi-polar, manic depressive disorder before you were 20. 
  • Getting hit one night by your boyfriend and leaving with your car and your clothes.  
  • Becoming a single mom and going through a bankruptcy. 

For Angie, all of this was a reality.  She was living a life of chaos with very few calm, safe, hopeful moments.  She describes herself as insecure, someone with a chip on her shoulder, and a bully.  She emphasizes never being taught to budget, being embarrassed to bring friends home, and trying to escape her reality by forming relationships that many times became the cause of more pain.   

When I first met Angie I did not know any of these stories.  I found her because she is a hairstylist with an online presence and great reviews.  (When you are new to a city, you look for both!)  In our first meeting I complimented her on her online presence and she quickly spoke of her “Marketing Director, Miss Connie. ” 

What follows is a quick look into the lives of two extraordinary women that have been transformed because they have chosen to do what they can, with what they have, right where they are. 

“Miss Connie” is a client of Angie’s that deeply values Angie on a personal and professional level.  During one of Angie’s most difficult seasons, Connie could see and feel the pain Angie was in and wanted to help. 

  • Her first gift to Angie was a Mrs. Beasley doll simply because it was something that Angie had deeply treasured as a child. 
  • Then it was a book to encourage Angie and to challenge her to think differently. 
  • Next it was a vision for growing her business and the letterhead and business cards to get her started. 
  • One day it was a netbook that opened to her new website. 
  • Then brainstorming about setting a goal to get a set number of new clients each month. 
  • Then it was books about budgeting.
  • Then advice on moving to a new salon…

Connie identified a huge need in Angie and has mentored her for years.  Never once has Connie offered a quick-fix, a handout or a “fish-for-a-day.”  Each time she has offered genuine care, support, tools and accountability.  And each time Angie has responded like a sponge, soaking in new information, learning all she can, being deeply appreciative, and never once taking that friendship for granted. 

Both women inspire me:

Angie ~ 

  • Because she chooses not to be a victim. 
  • Because she courageously pushes through barriers to pursue a vision of something better in spite of what life hands her. 
  • Because she is determined to learn and grow. 
  • Because she is willing to be vulnerable and ask for help. 
  • Because she is appreciative of what she has been given and does not expect a hand-out.  Because she is looking for a way to pay it forward with other women and trying to build a better future for her son. 

Connie ~ 

  • .Because she looks deep enough to SEE what others do not see and is willing to get involved. 
  • Because she has given from the deepest part of her heart without enabling. 
  • Because she did not give one time and walk away, instead she has stayed engaged for years continually mentoring and encouraging.  

No matter who you are, and no matter where you sit, YOU can make a difference.  In fact, you may be making a bigger difference right now than you realize.  Check this out..

  1. When Angie’s home burnt down she lived with her aunt for a time.  When she moved back home, she did not leave empty handed; she was filled with visions of a life that included budgets, grooming and order instead of just chaos. 
  2. When Angie was in high school she was given the opportunity to attend a Vo-Tech program to learn how to be a stylist.  In that environment she received training and hope and a vision of making a difference for other women. 
  3. At another time in her life it was her employer that provided an environment of learning and growth and planted the vision of owning her own business.  

What about you? 

  • If you are in Angie’s shoes:  What can you do today to soak up the opportunities around you?  Who can you reach to, to learn more? 
  • If you are in Connie’s shoes:  Who can you reach out to that needs encouragement, a vision or tools? 

As we begin 2013, imagine what our world would look like if EACH ONE OF US did what we could, with what we have, right where we are…  Just IMAGINE!
Chery Gegelman is the President of Giana Consulting. She is an energetic and inspiring speaker, facilitator, consultant and author that is passionate about providing people and organizations with tools to be more successful and challenging them to make a greater difference. Chery is quick to point out that any wisdom and understanding she brings come from her own failures and successes, the people she worked with along the way, wise mentors, years of study and the undeserved grace of her Heavenly Father Connect with Chery on her LeadChange ProfileWebsite or Twitter.

This post originally appeared on the Lead Change Group

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