What if everything you said mattered? Would you speak differently? Most of us would. Mary takes it to a whole new level, and helps us understand the importance of our words. – InPower Editors
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
-Frank Outlaw
A few weeks ago, I was at a user experience professional event in Dallas. It was a lightening talk event – 20 slides presented in about 5 minutes. It was an informative night, but one presentation left a proufound impact.
It was a presentation by Ken Tabor about Lao Tzu and the Tao Te Ching.
Perceptions are reality, and generally this is true. If you describe people as untrustworthy, you will believe people are untrustworthy, and therefore be around people who are untrustworthy. There are 2 reasons why:
- You attract what you think about (Law of Attraction)
- Your subconsicous looks for traits in others that you believe are true to validate your defined reality – or, you look for people to be untrustworthy
[Tweet “The words you choose to use define your life experience v @MFBrodie #InPower #Women”]
Jargon defines work experiences
At work, many of us use jargon. But jargon can be alienating to people who don’t understand it. Those who know what certain phrases mean form a “club,” where membership requires knowing the definitions. But this jargon comes with some nuances that the members who use it don’t consciously realize exist.
In marketing the latest buzzword is “snackable content,” or information that can quickly be read, understood and shared. This phrase makes no sense outside of marketing – you can’t eat content. But the phrase sums up a marketer’s perception of content – thoughts are consumable, like food; and information can be transformed into something ad-like.
One expression I find troubling is “throat to choke,” or identifying a single entity to be responsible for a project. The expression implies that someone could be “choked” for a mistake. Most organizations encourage leadership, responsibility, and accountability, but this expression implies that grave consequences come with that. If you hear this expression enough, you may subconsciously decide that responsibility is too risky and pass on being a leader.
There are other expressions that have multi-layered meanings that you may not always consider; but they do impact your perception of how business gets done.
Words define leadership
Your word choice influences how you lead your team.
Self-fulfilling prophecies, it turns out, are just as prevalent in offices as they are in elementary school classrooms. If a manager is convinced that the people in her group are first-rate, they’ll reliably outperform a group whose manager believes the reverse—even if the innate talent of the two groups is similar.
–J. Sterling Livingston, Pygmalion in Management, Harvard Business Review
This is the Pygmalion Effect – the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform.
The Pygmalion effect enables staff to excel in response to the manager’s message that they are capable of success and expected to succeed. The Pygmalion effect can also undermine staff performance when the subtle communication from the manager tells them the opposite.
–Susan M. Heathfield, The Pygmalion Effect: The Power of the Supervisor’s Expectations
This demonstrates how words have power, especially when they come from places of power.
Words define who you are – and who you can be
The Pygmalion effect can apply to how you define yourself.
Look at your resume or LinkedIn profile – how do you describe your work experience? Your achievements? The words you use reflect how you view yourself and therefore, how others perceive what you can do.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
–Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Affirmations are one way to change how you see yourself and others see you.
If you believe the phrase you are what you think, then life truly stems from your thoughts. But we cannot rely purely on thoughts; we must translate thoughts into words and eventually into actions in order to manifest our intentions. This means we have to be very careful with our words, choosing to speak only those which work towards our benefit and cultivate our highest good. Affirmations help purify our thoughts and restructure the dynamic of our brains so that we truly begin to think nothing is impossible.
–Dr. Carmen Harra, 35 Affirmations That Will Change Your Life, Huffington Post
All this benefit comes from subtle changes to your word choices. And it can work.
Lao Tzu and Tom Peters have something in common: both believe(d) that you are who you think you are. In 1997 Tom Peters wrote Brand You, which reminds us that we each have a brand, like corporations. And like any brand, the words you choose to describe yourself impact how others see you.
Start right now: as of this moment you’re going to think of yourself differently! You’re not an “employee” of General Motors, you’re not a “staffer” at General Mills, you’re not a “worker” at General Electric or a “human resource” at General Dynamics (ooops, it’s gone!). Forget the Generals! You don’t “belong to” any company for life, and your chief affiliation isn’t to any particular “function.” You’re not defined by your job title and you’re not confined by your job description.
Starting today you are a brand.
–Tom Peters, The Brand Called You, Fast Company
When an agency brands a company, they brainstorm a number of approaches to describe it, refusing to include limiting labels, jargon, or common phrases. Be like an agency – experiment with words to describe who you are and remove any limits you may have imposed on yourself using traditional descriptions.
Words have an incredible impact in our lives – more than we may want to admit. We define our thoughts through words, we communicate with words, we describe objects with words. Words define our perceptions and create our reality. So choose your words wisely when you describe your experiences – what you say may come true for you, your team and even your profession.
Take charge of your career development to get the job that supports your work and your life. Check out the tools and resources in the InPower Coaching Career Center.
