Mastering Self-Efficacy Helps Smooth Out the Bumps in Life
“Self-efficacy: The belief that one has mastery over the events of one’s life and can meet challenges as they come up”
Self-efficacy is the most important part of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) that a Working Mom needs to master. Let me give you a scenario. You have your career plan. You mapped out the milestones you’ll reach. You are in the race and keeping a pace where you are pushing yourself slightly out of your comfort zone, but you feel good. You’re doing great. Then you become a Working Mom. You had heard stories about mommy tracking and opting out but you have a plan. You are in a leadership role because of it. You are the breadwinner–abandoning the plan is not an option.
So your life starts to get a bit bumpy. You feel a bit shaken from choices that you are forced to make, like choosing work over family and vice versa. However, you have faith in your career plan and stick to it. Then it starts to get really bumpy. This wasn’t something that you had planned or predicted. You want to stick to the plan you love so much but you need help. You need something you can rely on so that you can have self-efficacy. Once you have mastered self-efficacy, the bumps are manageable. You have your tremendous support system and your awesome plan but what else can you depend on?
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Understanding Emotional Intelligence and learning how to strengthen it is your way to self-efficacy. From Daniel Goleman’s book, “Emotional Intelligence Why It Can matter More Than IQ”, here’s what Emotional Intelligence is all about:
- Knowing your emotions
- Managing your emotions
- Motivating yourself
- Recognizing emotions in others
- Handling relationships
Stick to the Plan By Using Emotional Intelligence
Once you become a mother you are blindsided with many intense emotions. Yes, your priorities change, but your values do not. A part of your core being created your values and when you were your #1 priority you created your awesome career plan. So how you combine two “loves” in your life depends on how well you use your Emotional Intelligence.
Using Emotional Intelligence will lead to your career success and happiness about life in general. Although life is a bit bumpy as a Working Mom it will serve you well, and the people around you, to focus on your emotions and others. People, meaning co-workers and children, want a leader who has their life together; who are making it work. Practicing Emotional Intelligence will make you a great leader and Mother.
5 Tips to Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence
To help you get started today on strengthening your Emotional here are 5 tips:
- Name emotions when you feel them. There is no sweeping emotions under the rug for the sake of time and/or efficiency. At some point your emotions will surface again so it’s better to deal with them by naming them in the present moment than letting them build up and affect your mood and performance later.
- To manage your emotions ask yourself “Is it true?” Byron Katie’s book titled, “Loving What Is” asks four questions to help deal with reality. Asking “Is it true?” helps you see what is the true reality. The things we worry about may not be based on reality. Instead it’s based on our thoughts about reality. The other three questions are: “Can you absolutely know that it’s true?”, “How do you react when you think that thought?”, and “Who would you be without this thought.”
- Believe in hope! You will figure things out and then when you do your road will smooth out. The occasional bump in the road won’t always send you off course and you will stay the course. Being optimistic attracts people, including your children. When our emotions are not out of control you feel hopeful. You are able to think clearly. When you believe that you can travel this path, challenges become less and less.
- Be aware of other people’s bumpy journeys. Everyone has battles of their own that we are unaware of. By practicing empathy, toward co-workers, managers, children, significant others, daycare providers, people will remember how you made them feel not the words you said. This builds trust, informal networks, a stronger community and family.
- Get out and get social. Take time to invest in your relationships. We grow by connecting with others. Our social calendar can suffer the busier we get with our family and professional responsibilities. It’s very easy for friendships to go by the wayside both personally and professionally, especially when dealing with bumpy roads. This is a time when you should reach out, not go within. Remember others have their own challenges and you can help by being social.
Self-Efficacy Is the Goal
Strengthening your Emotional Intelligence will build up your self-efficacy. The more responsibilities that pile up the more important self-efficacy becomes. As a bonus, Emotional Intelligence will not only help you with your co-workers, upper management, and customers, but it will help with managing the relationships within your own family, especially your children. Lead by example to teach your children Emotional Intelligence. It will make them smarter than any IQ or SAT test can prove.
Now we’d love to hear from you! How do you think Emotional Intelligence could prevent you from going off course and keep you going with your goals and dreams? Leave a comment below.
BIO: Liz is a Certified Professional Coach who coaches Working Moms to ignite their Mommy Energy as well as overcome their Motherhood Transition Challenges (MTC). Liz’s love for writing, creativity, and helping others fueled her passion to be an author. Liz first book, “Igniting Mommy Energy”, came out on the first day of summer in 2014.
Curious to learn more about Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? Check out the resources in the InPower Coaching EQ at Work and Soft Skills Research Index.
