The Game Is Rigged: Strategies for Overcoming Unconscious Bias

When it comes to unconscious bias, the bad news is that the game is rigged–against women, people of color, introverts and others that don’t fit a certain “success” stereotype that is often male, white and extroverted. But the good news is, it’s not really a game so there are no rules you can’t modify and break, if necessary.

Recent research has identified thirty individual biases that work together to disadvantage women in the workplace. Myriad other research shows that managers reliably exhibit biases based on gender, race, education, ability and sexual orientation, to name just a few. And there is also evidence that bias negatively affects men in their careers, as well.

The bottom line for all of us is that no matter who you are and what you look, sound or act like, you encounter unconscious bias that either works for or against you–and sometimes both. 

And–not to let any of us off the hook–we all exhibit some combination of unconscious biases when evaluating ourselves and other people we work, live and play with. 

So what do we do? How can we work to better understand and deal with the fact that the deck is stacked against us?

Unconscious Bias Strategy #1: Know You’re Not Crazy

If you’re struggling to keep up with all the ways the game is rigged for or against you, you’re not alone. Since unconscious bias (AKA implicit bias) was first ‘discovered’ in 1995 there has been a fair amount of research and raising of public consciousness about the different ways our brains process preferences and judgments about people based on their physical, psychological, behavioral and demographic characteristics. 

Our understanding of unconscious bias continues to grow and change as we learn more and–at least as importantly–learn to see such biases operating around us. Here is the short list of the 30 biases that both genders often hold that disadvantage women (taken from the research linked above.)

You may look at this list and find some of these things no surprise, and others a bit shocking (Veteran status? Really?). And I bet you would have had a different reaction to this list in 1995 than you do today.

Part of the reason it’s hard to keep up is because social norms, when it comes to biases, are changing rapidly. If you need a reminder of this, just look at some of the TV and movies you enjoyed as a kid and watch them through a modern lens. Then watch the Barbie movie. It’s not your grandmother’s media landscape anymore because our popular understanding of what are acceptable gender stereotypes is shifting all the time. The only thing that isn’t changing is the fact that there are stereotypes and biases. Those are built into the human brain and our culture.

This makes it possible for us to have a bias that one day is assumed to be normal (i.e., just the way things are), and then shortly thereafter, appears biased and even malicious after we’ve been exposed to seeing a compelling alternative.

To make things even more confusing, social norms that help us see and respond to bias are not changing evenly throughout our society. Different political affiliations, age groups and racial/ethnic groups view gender bias differently. Men and women also tend to see gender issues, including barriers to success, differently as well. 

Source: National Library of Medicine

Sometimes this feels like gaslighting when you see a bias, and its costs, very clearly and others tell you you’re making things up, that no bias exists.

I believe that the research is becoming very clear on the fact that you’re not crazy, we all are. 

Biases are real. They affect us all. They affect us all differently and that makes it hard to “prove” when others simply don’t see or believe in them. But if you see it, if you believe it, it’s probably true for you.

Photo by Sebastian Voortman 

Unconscious Bias Strategy #2: Be Angry. Then Let it Go.

In the face of bias, against you or anyone you care about, it’s easy to become so angry that you’re an ineffective advocate for change. And we do need change that recognizes that bias creates injustice and that these biases can change, as can our view of what is just. This becomes the basis for change.

Here are a few examples of issues that result from biases against women. I personally once thought of these as ‘normal burdens’, but I’ve changed my thinking on them in recent years now that I understand the role of bias in creating them. Now I believe we need to see change in each of these areas.

• Believing women and people of color need to “work twice as hard” to prove themselves in professional settings. I have come to see this as a bias that burns them out mid-career while white men are more often allowed to work less than twice as hard, at home and at work, to get ahead.
• Understanding that a bias that tells us that women are “good at office housework” often hurts us in our efforts to advance our careers
• Biases that lead women to shoulder most of the care for children and elders cost them significantly in terms of wealth, health and security

Here’s my advice. Let yourself be angry. Find people who understand and will validate your anger. Learn to detrigger your anger and the unhelpful behaviors it creates for you. 

Then let it go. You won’t be effective in making change, for yourself or others, if you’re emotionally charged.

Let me clear. Letting it go does not mean not being angry. It means not reacting from anger when you speak and act. Reactionary emotions can be devastating and they can hurt your career and close relationships if you’re not careful, in addition to skyrocketing your stress levels. 

It’s ok to be angry and let that fuel your desire for change, just don’t speak and act from anger. Get to a better place before taking action. And yes, sometimes you have to change out your friends and the people who originally validated your feelings if they are not also evolving to help you get to–and stay in–that better place. 

It’s complicated and confusing, but definitely worth the journey through the anger and confusion to get to the place where you can take more informed, practical action steps from a place of strength and commitment instead of anger and bitterness.

Unconscious Bias Strategy #3: Get Practical.

Once you have the anger under control, you can be more practical. Biases exist in you and in other people. You’re not going to get away from them. You have to deal with them, which doesn’t mean you have to accept them. It means you have to accept that they are there and moderate your behavior to adapt to this reality in ways that help you achieve your goals. This can require reframing your view and intention behind certain behaviors. For example, instead of using tentative language, and other unassertive behaviors, to cater to other’s biases that women should not be aggressive, I use it selectively to communicate emotional sensitivity, a strategy used by many women successfully to be viewed as cooperative and collaborative.

We can change our biases with intentional effort. But when the biases are in others, you need to be practical and accept that while you can’t change their behavior directly, you can change your own in ways that can influence them. You can:

• Call their attention to their bias in ways perhaps they can hear
• Make rational and emotionally positive cases for change
• Vote with your dollars and your feet, engaging with people and organizations who do not display the biases you want to change
• You can choose conflict and confrontation if you believe that is the best route to calling attention to the issues, but be sure you are prepared for the likely backlash

To do this, it’s healthy to interrogate your own biases, and this is true if you’re a woman, person of color or any other kind of human being. Gender issues persist in industries that employ many women, including in leadership. You are human and have biases. Learn to identify your own and speak to new ways to view them so others can learn from your example. 

It’s also important to become a role model for what healthier biases look like, because many people can change their biases when they can see a compelling alternative to something they didn’t know was an issue. Here are a few examples of biases and beliefs I’m working to shift for myself and model for others. It’s a work in progress, feedback welcome!

• Instead of “working twice as hard” to prove themselves I am biased to view the most capable women as those who “find high road shortcuts to greater impact” that produce results with less stress on themselves, others and the system overall
• Instead of discounting a woman’s experience caring for children or older adults as relevant to their work experience, I’m taking a page from Christine LaGarde’s decision to count motherhood as management experience when evaluating their management experience
• Instead of seeing women who are “not nice” as incapable of leading others, I’m looking for signs that they are clear, directive, decisive and capable of making hard decisions and managing difficult conversations. If I find evidence of the latter, I see them as capable leaders who choose impact over approval.

To help you figure out how to shift your own unconscious biases, here’s a tip: shift from the negative to the positive. Instead of being biased against something, figure out what you can be biased for that is helpful and positive, to you and others. By doing this you’re shifting your biases from unconscious to conscious.

Unconscious Bias Strategy #4: Be Authentically You.

As you do this work, you will feel uncomfortable. Part of this is because change is uncomfortable by definition. It’s the price of developing personal power, which is valuable all on its own, and especially in the search for external power. Part of it is because you, along with a lot of other people in the soup of changing social norms, are pioneering new ways of thinking, believing and applying traditional values. What was respectful in the past can become disrespectful in the present.

You will have stories in your head that try to talk you out of shifting your perspective. For example, giving up on the “work twice as hard” belief is profoundly uncomfortable for those of us who ingrained it into our professional being. You may feel that if you’re working a normal amount you’re slacking off, or you could feel worthy of being fired for slacking off when you’re actually working a normal workweek, a workweek a white man assumes is normal and worthy of a very high salary. 

Do you believe that not being “nice” all the time means you have to be a jerk? It doesn’t. There are ways to be “not nice” that are not confrontational or jerky. You can be clear. Strong. Declarative. Decisive. None of which are “jerky”.

As long as you own the way you choose to be, think and believe as you shift your biases, you will be authentic. And at the end of the day, authenticity tends to win. In part I believe this is because people who do the work to choose what is authentic for them–including their biases and beliefs–gain respect for having chosen who they are at their best. And by making these choices, they are making the choice that they don’t have to be liked to be effective.

The real question for each of us when it comes to looking at unconscious bias, is “Who do I want to be?” “What biases am I willing to own?” “What biases do I want to become an example for?” and “What biases do I want to be conscious of?”

Good luck on this journey.