Too often work-life life seems overwhelming, but how much of that is under our control? Emily reminds us that most of it is ours to command. – InPower Editors
When you write a book about women dominating in business, a funny thing happens.
People call your bluff.
And so they begin to rise up and put mics in your face and say things like, “Um, that’s nice and all, but women DON’T actually dominate in business, so what’s holding them back?”
“Is it ‘the man?’”
“The ambition gap?”
“What’s going on?”
Sometimes I think people want me to be all militant and angry about the low number of women in boardrooms, but they clearly don’t know I’m too zen for that. And while I’m not denying there are women who have been legitimately held back by broken stereotypes, I’m happy to bow to the sheroes who prove women can – and do – grab the brass ring all the time.
So what is this “ambition gap” we keep hearing so much about?
Could it be that women – gasp! –don’t want success as much as men do?
I’m not really buying that either because all you have to do is spend five minutes alone with any career-minded millennial with a set of double x-chromosomes and – poof! – you instantly feel like office roadkill.
As I’ve said before, I think the real issue here is we hold ourselves back – and one of the most insidious ways we do this is through the so-called monkey brain.
I don’t know what it is about women but – seriously – we can NOT seem to dial down the chatter in our heads – and it takes a massive toll on our careers. I can’t tell you the number of women I’ve met over the years who were simply too distracted, too “busy”, and too burdened by the pressures of everything on their calendar to find meaningful traction in their lives. (Also, as a master of the obvious, I feel I should point out that we often let the tail wag the dog with our calendars. Everything that’s on your schedule right now is there because YOU said “yes” to it in the first place.)
*End of rant*
But here’s the deal. If you want to find traction by silencing the monkey brain, you have to pay super close attention to what’s causing it in the first place. That means you have to understand the very real cause and effect relationship between what’s going on in your head and what you’re creating in your life.
If you’ve read Who Says It’s a Man’s World, you know that I’ve devoted the first section of the book to what I call “cutting the crap.” In other words, getting rid of what doesn’t work so you can make room for what does. Yes – there is actually a process for this and – like many of my favorite processes – it has three steps.
1. Observe your thoughts without judgment or as Eckhart Tolle says, “understand you have a mind but you are not your mind.”
2. Call out what doesn’t serve you, i.e. pay attention to the specific thought patterns that are blocking your ability to get what you want out of your career.
3. Let go. That’s right. Done. As with your calendar, your monkey brain only has as much control as you give it – and so when you cut off the power source (see steps 1 & 2) it becomes very easy to dismiss. Just like that.
I know, I know.
Trying to wrap big concepts in a pithy little bow isn’t easy.
And so I hope you’ll join me for a free webinar I’m hosting on Tuesday, June 17th from 12:30 – 1:15pmEST. In this training, I’ll show you the six steps to silencing the monkey brain and creating true presence in your life – or what I like to call your Authentic Power.
These are mindfulness tools that have been used by thought leaders for thousands of years but are just now making their way into modern-day leadership.
I know I’m biased, but this really is calendar-worthy.
Hope you can join in. Xo
Originally on: Emily Bennington
