Most of us have a clear image of a leader. Strong. Smart. Confident. “In Charge of insert-something-important-usually-having-to-do-with-power-or-money-here”. I don’t buy that image of leader. To me, a leader is ANYONE who takes a stand and influences other people to cause the world to be better....
Meg* and I were lunch-brainstorming how to help one of her direct reports who is struggling to “fit” into her recent Director-level promotion. Meg noted that this woman – we’ll call her Kathy* – found it hard to see the forest for the trees. Meg thought Kathy had tons of potential but was...
Buddhists and psychologists alike tell us that non-attachment to outcomes is the key to success. There is tremendous value in thinking this way - and it's a key component of my executive coaching work on speaking truth and building your internal power. Non-attachment from the culture around you is...
Old boss - mentoring and advancement opportunities. New boss - frustration, competition, neglect, stupidity and powerlessness. What's your strategy for getting ahead now? In the last week, I've talked to three people in situation "new boss" - at all levels including a CXO (no, my friends,...
Language is an important element of our personal power. When you catch yourself speaking with the out-of-power words we looked at earlier, don’t beat yourself up. Saying “I’ll try” instead of “I will” is just a habit and habits can be changed with focus (see below).
There are two legitimate reasons that we often choose out-of-power vocabulary. The InPower trick is to learn to use InPower language to deal with these situations. Most of the time, our language turns out to be an indicator of deeper things.
I’ve recently chatted with some women that left a “women’s business networking group” frustrated that no one wanted to talk about business issues. Are we getting good at networking, but not using it to build our business and mentoring skills? What I’m wondering is whether many women are missing an opportunity to really mentor each other on the business of business. Are we giving each other a leg up or are we just empathizing and listening sympathetically?
Make your YES mean more by saying NO more often. Saying “No” is hard because we don’t just say the word, we burden it with other – unsaid – baggage on both the sayer’s and receiver’s part. But it doesn’t have to be that way and powerful leaders know how to use the Art of No in ways that leave the listener feeling useful, appreciated and inspired. Learn to practice the Art of No. Your team will thank you for it.
Let’s start with the notion that you are priceless. Next we’ll accept the fact that there are limited resources in any particular situation. One thing my remunatory negotiating experience has taught me was that when it was the right job or project, money has never been the issue. The data tells us that women still make less than men and so I believe that’s true on a statistical and social scale. However, research also tells us that ambiguity is often the culprit, and ambiguity is something we as individuals can deal with. This is a perfect opportunity to turn an unempowering situation – negotiating salary or project fees – into an InPower situation. As an employer you need to make sure you’re InPower also…
I'm updating my site and found this oldie but goodie - literally like the first blog I wrote in 2011. Reading it, I still believe it. So I'm leaving it up for whatever wisdom it has to offer you. - Dana Theus, Arlington, VA 20025 When did we give up trying to change the world? When did our dreams...
