When we first met Sameer, martial artist, coach and all around interesting guy, we were struck by the way he embodied personal power. Getting to know him we discovered a seeker, guru, teacher and coach who understands how personal – inner – power translates into external power in the world in very tangible ways. We hope you enjoy Sameer’s insights as much as we do. – InPower Editor
The Mack Truck Called “Fajing”
During one of my private sessions with my Tai Chi teacher (sifu) he said, “You can’t manifest power unless you are relaxed.” In the moment, I knew he was referring to a very difficult form that I’ve been working on for almost a year. I had the choreography and basic movements down, but specific movements require the release of internal power in quick bursts. In Chinese internal martial arts, this technique is known as fajing fah-jing. Fajing is very difficult to describe but easy to understand once it is experienced. To illustrate his point, Sifu stood up and gently placed his fist on my chest. Having experienced first hand the kind of explosive power he can generate, I became a little nervous. He smiled at me and said, “Make sure you exhale.” A few seconds later, Sifu let out a quick grunt and I felt the wind knock out of me. He didn’t wind up and punch. In fact, his fist never left my chest. It was as if his fist was a conduit that transmitted a quick burst of energy into my chest. I stumbled back a few feet and a wave of nausea swept through my body. My mind couldn’t comprehend it, but my body knew that was fajing. That split second burst of power felt like a Mack truck just hit me. I bent over and grabbed my stomach as if I was about to throw up. Sifu patted me on the back and asked, “Are you ok?” After a few moments, I slowly regained my composure and responded, “How did you do that?” Fajing is a very difficult skill to develop. I certainly can’t do it. But I’m fortunate to have a Sifu who can and has faith in me that I will some day. My struggle with developing this technique has helped me to differentiate between tension and power.
Tension ≠ Power
We often associate physical tension such as a contracted muscle with power. In pure physical terms, the larger and stronger a muscle, the greater the force it can generate through a given range of motion. This is quantified by the old physics equation, force= mass x acceleration (F=ma). This makes sense on a purely physical level. But then how do you explain fajing on these terms? You can’t. To me, the answer is relaxation.
Recall the last time you sneezed really hard. Did it require any physical effort on your part? Did you consciously have to think about how to sneeze and prepare your body to do it? Of course not! You just did it. It was spontaneous, natural and effortless. Sneezing is probably the closest thing I can compare to that spontaneous release of explosive power like fajing. After that session with my Sifu, I spent the next couple of days thinking about his statement, “You can’t manifest power unless you are relaxed.” To me it meant much more than understanding the technique of fajing, it was a lesson to be learned in our daily lives.
Tension, be it physical or mental, is neither strength nor power. It is weakness disguised as strength; the near enemy of power. In difficult situations such as an argument with a colleague, we revert to tension and exerting our will as a means to get what we want. If we raise our voice, puff our chest, or clench our teeth, we may intimidate the other person into conceding. This usually results in escalating conflict rather than resolving it. Both the relationship and the desired outcome are compromised. So what’s a better way? In the words of my Sifu, “Relax and let go.”
Take a rubber band and stretch it between your hands. As it stretches, tension builds up and creates potential energy inside the rubber band. If you suddenly release one end if it, the other end will immediately snap back and the band will return to its original size. Now take the same rubber band and put it in the freezer for some time. When you take it out, it will be stiff and brittle with little to know elasticity. If you pull to the same length as before, it will break. The cold temperature diminished the band’s elasticity causing it to break under the same or less stress when pulled. When life pulls us, we can resist and create tension that will eventually pull us apart, or relax and let go and allow the force to create potential energy by which we can, like the rubber band, effortlessly release power.
Your body is a channel through which your vital energy (chi, ki, or prana in Asian martial and somatic arts) flows. Tension is a block in that channel that disrupts the flow. It starves our creativity, spontaneity, and vitality and ultimately renders us weak in all aspects. Tension is born from resistance. Mental resistance creates physical resistance. Resistance is simply the non-allowance of “what is”. This could be a person, situation or idea that we do not like or wish to change. Relaxation is the physical response of allowing, “what is” to be. It is a physical expression of the principle of non-resistance; one of the four principles of Self-Mastery (see my Roadmap page for more details). Relaxation opens the physical and mental channels that let our vital energy flow.
We’ve all experienced situations where under stress; we feel tension and our thoughts and actions are less than optimal. Since the majority of our energy is spent on beingtense, we have little left to effectively deal with the situation at hand. In Aikido or Tai Chi class, my training partners that hold the most tension are the easiest to throw. Like a dead tree, they are stiff and have no roots to keep them grounded and therefore can be moved and thrown with little effort. On the other hand, relaxation allows us to feel our center, remain grounded and therefore respond to the challenge in front of us from a place of personal power.
What Is Power?
For the purpose of this discussion and its relationship to self-mastery, I define power, specifically personal power, as the overlap where the four principles of Self-Mastery meet:
This small area is the where synergy among the four principles creates personal power and leads to self-mastery. When we are aware, centered, non-resistant, and aligned, we can then manifest our personal power. This power is not coercive, domineering, and callous as typically portrayed by corporate CEOs, politicians, and other authority figures whose power is derived from their title or social position or certification. This is true, authentic power that is independent of title, position, rank or any other external validation. This comes from within you.
Relaxation is a physical expression of the principle of non-resistance. When you release tension from the body, you allow your energy to flow naturally and respond in the most appropriate way. This is not only physical power, but also mental, and emotional power. Once we are physically relaxed, then calmness, clarity and creativity can follow. The overall process can be summarized as follows:
Relaxation-> Natural Flow of Energy-> Allowance of Personal Power->Positive Outcome
When we allow our personal power to come through, we become aware of possibilities and solutions that may otherwise have been hidden from our awareness. These possibilities are always there. But in the moment, our tension and resistance blinds us to them. Relaxation begins the process of awakening our perception. It’s like seeing a familiar picture with a fresh pair of eyes and noticing details that we never noticed before.
Start With the Breath
One of the most accessible ways of creating relaxation is through the breath. In meditation, the breath is a common tool for stilling the mind and connecting to the present moment. The specific breathing technique is not as important as being aware of your breath in any given moment. In moments of stress, the breath tends to be shallow, rapid or even non-existent. Fear and panic often causes us to hold our breath and create even more tension. In a relaxed state, the breath is deep, full, and slow. Use the breath as feedback to determine whether you are tense or relaxed. Ironically, the moment you become aware of your breath under tension, it begins to correct itself. This requires no effort on your part; just your awareness. Over time, you’ll become more adept at noticing your breath and circumventing tension with relaxation.
Exercise
Recall a time when you were under stress. Close your eyes and visualize the scene as vividly as you can down to the last detail. Relive that moment. Now, notice your body. Is your breath shallow and rapid? Are your muscles tense? Is your jaw clenched? Are your fists tight? The more detail you can image, the more your body will respond in kind. Now, place your attention on your breath. Just observe it without trying to change it. Notice that just by observing it, your breath starts to change and normalize. As your breath settles, your muscles begin to relax and tension starts to drain from the body. Now, visualize the scene again but this time, keep your attention on the breath. Notice how keeping your attention on the breath keeps it more calm, and deep compared to when you were immersed in the image. Your body should also be more relaxed. The visualization has lost some of its charge and has less of an effect on your body. Attention to the breath and the body creates an internal focus from which you can observe and respond with greater calmness and objectivity. You can now respond from a more relaxed and powerful state.
When you are aware, centered, non-resistant and aligned, your personal power manifests. Tension is the physical and mental hindrance that keeps it from expression. Under stress, trying to relax is just another form of tension. Instead, become of aware of your body. Notice the breath. It will clue you into your mental and physical state. Like the rubber band, release tension and notice how far your power takes you.
Sameer Sharma – My experience as a martial artist, yogi, and athlete has made me not only a more effective businessman, but also a better person in other areas of my life. From the first day I stepped foot in the Aikido dojo or on my yoga mat to now, I have witnessed a profound change in myself. Over 20 years, the fearful, self-doubting, stressed-out, defensive, and egotistical me was kicked, punched, thrown, stretched, and bent into a more fearless, confident, calm, centered, and empowered person. Have I arrived? Am I a self-actualized being with no more fear, worry, doubt, and anger? Absolutely not! Like you, I face these challenges every day. But my training and experience has shown me a better way to face these challenges and achieve my goals. Visit Sameer’s website: http://www.sameersharma.com/
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