Don’t Take It Personally – Self-Esteem for Women Leaders

People talk a lot about thought leadership, and we believe it’s a powerful success strategy available to women. But let’s get real, most of us don’t feel comfortable putting our big ideas out there because we’re don’t like to get negative feedback. We like how Dana takes this subject on, showing us how to transform this fear into a self-esteem success strategy. Don’t miss one of her upcoming thought leadership webinars for entrepreneurs or executives. – InPower Editors

In my work with professional women, ladder climbers and entrepreneurs alike, I see one particular challenge hold us back more than any other (no, I’m not immune): we are prone to take any kind of negative feedback personally, as though comments on our performance or ideas directly relate to our value as people.
 
I’m not alone in noting this problem in self-esteem for women, as early as 1989 researchers documented the fact that women take negative feedback personally (whereas men are more likely to filter it out or attribute it to factors outside themselves).

As I work with women to help them develop their inner power to lead and succeed, I find that most don’t want to “be like the guys” and develop an over-inflated sense of themselves, but they do want to develop authentic self-esteem strategies that allow them to invite feedback with confidence. The good news is that this is very possible!

The Self-Esteem Glitch

Since everyone gets feedback on their performance in the workplace, this one emotional “glitch” in our self-esteem has dramatic ramifications in our professional lives:

We internalize most feedback as reducing our overall value, which makes it hard for us to authentically negotiate when it comes time for salary or contract negotiations;

1. We undervalue our performance; and
2. Even when we sit at the table, we don’t put our good ideas on the table and stand behind them.

This latter challenge – not taking a strong stance as a thought leader – concerns me more than the others, because thought leadership is a core strategy to success in the executive ranks. And while many coaches and self-help books provide women strategies to negotiate and value themselves, very few give women the tools they need to become thought leaders.

This is low-hanging fruit to help women succeed, inside and outside corporate structures, and I believe we’ve got to start taking advantage of thought leadership as a career strategy.

Thought Leadership – A Woman’s Secret to Career Success

Thought leadership is a key career success strategy in the following ways:

For corporate high-potentials: it helps you build credibility to stand out in the crowd and attract sponsors who can help you get into leadership; and

For entrepreneurs: it helps you rise above the noise amongst your competitors and fill your pipeline, attracting ideal clients through social media, speaking engagements and networking.

I know this because it’s worked extremely well for me personally, in both my corporate career and my entrepreneurial adventure. The reason I like it (for myself and my clients) is because thought leadership is a very authentic way for women who don’t feel comfortable “bragging” about themselves to gain positive attention. Thought leadership puts your promotional energy behind an idea that you’re excited and even passionate about, and as your idea gains attention so do you! As a form of leadership, even negative attention can end up benefiting you when you learn to handle it gracefully.

Here’s the catch that snags us up in the self-esteem glitch though: thought leaders are influential because they are willing to take some heat for their ideas on behalf of everyone else who wants that idea to succeed. That’s why it’s a form of “leadership,” you’re getting out front and doing the thinking for other people who like the idea, but don’t have the time or ability to do that much thinking about it. But this powerful strategy is unavailable to you if you can’t untangle yourself from the feedback your idea attracts (positive and negative).

The good news is that everyone can learn to untangle themselves emotionally from their ideas. And when you learn to do this, you not only become an effective thought leader, you also begin to build your self-esteem on the negative feedback as well as the positive!

Thought leadership allows you to transform a self-esteem glitch into a self-esteem strategy!

I care so much about this, that I’m putting some of my energy into becoming a thought leader on thought leadership! I want to help you add this key strategy to your success toolkit. I’d like to invite you a free webinar on this subject. Please choose the one that suits your situation best. Thought leadership for entrepreneurs to help you fill your pipeline, or thought leadership strategies for inside organizations.