I like working with men, I really do. Of my clients and colleagues, the gender mix is evenly distributed. Over the years, I’ve become accustomed to being the only woman in a room full of businessmen and have never felt excluded or diminished.
When I read the vigorous (and occasionally venomous) debates online about women in leadership roles, I’ve not felt called to chime in. Even though women are underrepresented in senior leadership roles and disenfranchisement does exist, I didn’t have a personal story to tell in that regard.
I’ve admittedly taken the easy way out by not contributing much to the conversation online. So, I have cruised along, occasionally taking note of “women in the workplace” articles, but not really giving them much thought.
Until . . . I saw a Facebook post from a female friend congratulating fellow colleagues on being named to yet another online list of “top leadership thinkers in XYZ topic”. Out of curiosity, I clicked the link and sure enough, the list was comprised of mostly men.
I rolled my eyes, per usual and went along with my day. But this time, there was an annoyance that persisted. These lists invariably frame leadership very narrowly; they feature predominantly male authors or people with c-level titles in large organizations. There is more to leadership than a title and there are certainly more women with interesting things to say about leadership than these online lists indicate.
Weary of these constricted inclusion parameters, I decided to speak up. But there was a giant elephant in the room: my worry that people might criticize my observations. As I said, I’ve seen some ugly commentary out there and I wondered: was I up for the potential backlash?
Dana Theus, creator of the InPower Women blog is often encourages us to consider our personal narrative; of how the “stories” we tell ourselves and others influence how we are perceived. I decided to put myself smack dab in the middle of this story – to be my own protagonist in this claiming of leadership – and then inviting others to join me in claiming theirs.
In the end, it boiled down to summoning my courage and frankly, just getting over myself. I decided to claim my right to contribute on the topic of leadership in a public forum and wrote the post 37 Women with Interesting Things to Say About Leadership on my blog The People Equation.
The response to the post was overwhelmingly positive. Far from disenfranchising men, the post was a catalyst for conversation; both women and men joined the conversation on Facebook and Twitter to share the post and offer commentary.
Lesson learned – speaking up pays off. My message in the 37 Women blog post was genuine and heartfelt, with a method that invited conversation and reflection. By refraining from labeling my list as “best” or “top” I was able to broaden the meaning of leadership. In turn, many others helped me broaden my thinking as well through their contributions.
Most importantly, I found out that the biggest thing I feared – nasty discourse on my blog – never materialized. It was a non-issue. Plus, the “speaking up” has had a positive “spill over” effect for my consulting practice. As a result of being more outspoken on my blog, I’ve made inroads in several other aspects of my business, garnering plum writing assignments for several well-known publications.
Sometimes it seems like putting yourself “out there” and communicating with confidence is a huge leap of faith. It is, but the leap is internal. Those around us are more than willing to hear our story, if we are willing to share it.
Are you telling your most powerful, persuasive story? If not, and you’d like to learn how to do so, I invite you to join a free webinar called Communicating with Confidence, led by Dana Theus. I’m a graduate of the InPower Coaching program Self-Promotion Strategies for Women; I can vouch for the quality of content that Dana’s coaching programs offer. The Communicate with Confidence program contains many of the same powerful communication strategies as the Self-Promotion series. You owe it to yourself to check it out.
Don’t fear what might happen when you speak up. Plan for what great things will happen when you master the art of communicating confidently.
Career strategist Jennifer V. Miller is a former HR manager and corporate trainer who helps mid-career professionals chart the course for their next big leap. A self-described “professional opportunity cultivator”, Jennifer provides one-to-one and small group professional development coaching via her company SkillSource. Jennifer is the co-author of The Character-Based Leader and her work has appeared in Forbes, SmartBrief on Leadership, Executive Travel Magazine and The Huffington Post. She offers up tips for leading yourself and others at The People Equation and tweets at @JenniferVMiller.
