Most of us squander the best part of the feedback we receive.
Feedback is love, but it doesn’t always feel that way.
Feedback comes to us through the filter of the one giving it. Most of the time, when we feel bad, sad or mad after a feedback session, it’s not because the person giving it applied the wrong filter – it’s because WE didn’t apply one at all.
“They” are not know-it-alls, even if they act like it.
Practice feedback filtering to sift out the nuggets of gold with this simple exercise.
Step One: Ask someone for feedback on something.
Step Two: Before the session, give yourself permission to CHOOSE what part of their feedback you will take to heart.
Step Three: In the feedback session, put each piece of their feedback into a little pan in front of you to observe (this is imaginary of course.) Know that some of their feedback is sand and some is gold. Don’t try to sift it in the session. Just listen, ask for clarification and say thank you.
Step Four: Go be by yourself and play with the stuff in the pan. Choose the gold and toss the rest.
Practice this so you get good at it. You’ll need this skill when someone gives you feedback you didn’t ask for!
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