What if everyone you interacted with on a regular basis was in 100% agreement with you on what you were trying to do together?
Reaching agreement doesn’t always mean that people agree with you.
How much energy do you spend trying to get others to agree with you? A huge percentage of our time goes into working with other people and the vast amount of it is in negotiation – direct or indirect. Every conversation produces baggage that has to go somewhere. Most of us produce enough baggage to sink a tanker in our daily relationships. That load will bog us down, suck our fuel and make it harder to get where we’re going if we don’t move it off the boat.
What if you could claim back a big part of that energy to use on yourself, your career, your agenda, your family and the ways you’re going to change the world? You’d sail the seven seas a lot more smoothly, wouldn’t you?
You can dump the baggage for smooth sailing. Here’s how:
- Ask yourself what you really expect from the other person over time (i.e., not related to any particular interaction, for example, to watch your back, support you, bring you new ideas, etc.)
- Ask yourself what you think they can expect from you in the same context.
- Be honest with yourself and be ready to commit to this agreement.
- Share this agreement with them and ask them directly if they have the same expectations of you both.
- Be open to negotiating and adjusting until you have agreement on this higher purpose in your relationship.
- Check-in with them over time to continue to adjust and reinforce this agreement.
This works with everyone, your boss, your peers, your staff, your partner. If it feels uncomfortable, that means you have a boatload of energy to reclaim, so make a list of the people you’ll begin to establish a shared vision with and get started!
