Motivational theory holds that people – children and direct reports alike – pay attention to what you pay attention to. Your attention reinforces their behavior. Guess what? Your brain works the same way.
Want to be more effective? Give yourself more positive strokes when you are!
It’s just the way we’re ALL wired. We learn what is valuable to pay attention to by watching what others give their attention to. Pay attention to positive actions, you’ll get more positive actions from those around you. Pay attention to the negative, and – you got it – it’s yours!
Your self-talk pays attention to things, too, having internalized a lot of the people around you over the years. And what it pays attention to, you get more of in your life. This can be a real pain if you’ve been around insecure parents and bosses a lot. But the good news is that it’s YOUR brain and YOU get to influence it, change it and develop it the way you choose to do.
Here’s a simple way to start. Choose something you want to get better at – running meetings, analyzing strategies, speaking in front of groups – whatever. When you do it, spend five times more energy feeling good about what you did well than you do obsessing over what went less well. Acknowledge the opportunities for improvement, commit to improving the next time you have the chance and then let.it.go. Go back to feeling good about your success and stay there.
It works on 2 year olds. It will work on you.
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