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The Top 6 Reasons Women Are Not Leading In Corporate America As We Need Them To

by Guest Author | Dec 28, 2024 | Gender Equality, InPower Women Blog, Women in Leadership

Key Takeaways:

Corporate America is still falling short on gender parity at the top, and it’s time to ask the hard questions. Despite all the well-funded diversity programs and the clear business case for inclusion, too many companies still don’t know why women are leaving or stalling—and they haven’t done the deep, data-driven work to find out.
Authenticity is not optional for women—it’s essential. If the workplace forces women to mask their values, voices, or vulnerabilities, many will opt out rather than play a role that doesn’t align with who they are.
Work, family, and life priorities don’t magically align—and pretending they do is one reason we’re losing women from leadership pipelines. Until organizations modernize their cultures and policies to reflect reality, this clash will continue to drive women out.
Let’s stop pretending marginalization doesn’t happen—it does, often silently and systemically. From being sidelined for taking parental leave to having leadership styles undervalued, women are still facing barriers that go unnamed and unaddressed in too many companies.
Personal accountability isn’t about blaming women—it’s about empowering them. We need both organizational reform and individual courage: women who understand the game, honor their own leadership voice, and take bold, skilled action to change the rules.

By: Kathy Caprino
As a trainer and leadership developer of women, I’ve had the opportunity to speak with hundreds of HR and senior executive leaders the past 10 years, about women, growth, and paving the way for women’s ascension to leadership in corporate America. Yet what remains so disappointing and in fact, shocking, is that despite the irrefutable business case for the need to balance corporate leadership ranks with more women, we’re making very little headway – very little progress in the way of effective corporate change is occurring. Yes there are winners of Catalyst and other awards – and great, progressive organizations doing their part – but in the whole of corporate America, we’re not seeing the substantive change that’s necessary. Further, recent studies show that senior women are hit three times harder than their male counterparts in these tough economic times.

I believe there are 6 core reasons why women aren’t advancing to the leadership ranks to the degree we need them to in corporate America. One of the most important factors is that organizations are not digging deep enough to uncover EXACTLY why their organization isn’t fostering women leaders successfully. Leaders and HR directors attempt to address the issue every day, and they commit diversity dollars, initiatives, training programs and networking events to moving the needle, but rarely have the hard data, research and findings from men and women in the organization as to why women are leaving before they reach leadership levels, why they are plateauing or not being promoting effectively into leadership. Thus, their programs and initiatives don’t make a lasting difference.

Before I share what I believe are the 6 reasons why women aren’t leading in sufficient numbers, I’d like to ask HR staff and senior leaders this question:

Do you know (based on sound research and data and frank and open conversations at your company) EXACTLY why women are not sitting at your leadership tables in your organization? Do you have a handle on the specific part of the pipeline where you lose women, and why? If not, what step can you take this month to investigate as thoroughly as possible the barriers to women’s leadership success at your company?

If you don’t know the answers to these questions, the very first thing you must do is begin a research and data gathering initiative – conduct a thorough, candid, and probing exploration of what isn’t happening that needs to be, and determine the barriers to women’s growth that are specific to your organization, culture, and enterprise.

To get you started in your thinking, below are the top 6 reasons I’ve found for why women aren’t leading as we need them to in corporate business, based on my 10 years of work in the field, my year-long research study, my book Breakdown, Breakthrough, my Career Success training programs and my leadership consulting.

The top six reasons why women aren’t leading in sufficient numbers

1) The differences between men and women are not fully understood or valued

It’s an indisputable fact – women and men are different in many core ways, grounded in their neurobiology and their cultural training. (Read Dr. Louann Brizendine’s books The Female Brain and The Male Brain for more info). So much of men and women’s behavior is programmed, hard-wired in our brains, and also culturally influenced. I’ve found, however, that in corporate America (which remains male-dominated at the leadership levels), the differences in women’s style, approach, communication, decision making, leadership values, focus and “energy,” are not at all understood or valued. Many organizations still make women “wrong” (consciously or subconsciously) for their priorities and styles that clash with the dominant culture. Further, the emphasis many women leaders place on connection, empathy, emotional cue-taking, consensus-building, risk-taking, mutuality, and questioning are often misconstrued as a “less-than” leadership style. More multicultural and diversity training must occur for women and men to wholly embrace their differences, and understand that it is diversity and difference that makes us stronger and more competitive.

2) Whole-self authenticity is a must-have for many women, yet impossible still in many corporate environments

During a class I taught at New York University last summer on managing inclusion and cultural diversity, my students and I discussed the idea of bringing our whole hearts and spirits to our work and our careers – the idea that authenticity and transparency, and being who we really are – and being recognized and appreciated for that — is a vitally important criterion for our career success. A fascinating finding emerged – literally every woman in the class was in complete accord – that authenticity and being able to bring our whole selves to our work is essential to our fulfillment and success.

But the males in the class vehemently disagreed. They shared their feelings that full transparency at work, and “exposing” all parts of themselves (personal and otherwise) was not at all desirable. They confirmed this with numerous male friends and colleagues, who all agreed that it’s not safe or accepted (or wanted) to be fully transparent and bring their whole selves to the workplace. I’ve seen this as a commonly held difference between men and women in the workplace, again impacted by cultural training and neurobiology. (Again, I am fully aware that many men do indeed bring their full, authentic selves to work.) But what’s vital to remember is that, for thousands of women, if they can’t be real, true, transparent, honest and authentic at work – and can’t be recognized, valued and appreciated for what they bring to the table — they won’t want to follow the leadership at the helm or do what it takes to succeed in their organizations or roles. If the political environment is so crushing, and the competitive terrain so negative that work feels like “theatre” and women have to pretend to be something they are not (which it did for me for numbers of years in my corporate life), then it’s not sustainable, and not worth it. Thousands of women are fleeing corporate America and starting their own businesses to escape what isn’t working for them, and also to create new models of business success and leadership that fit their style, preference, values and priorities.

3) Life, family and work priorities clash fiercely.

Women are still performing the majority of domestic and child care responsibility in the home, even when there are two spouses working full-time. As such, and as long as women are bearing the children in our species, women will not view child rearing and child care in the same way as men do, and will prioritize the responsibilities around it differently. The best article I’ve read recently on this dilemma – as a woman, the challenges around how to be the caregiver you want to be while being the contributive professional you long to be – is Anne-Marie Slaughter’s piece in The Atlantic, Why Women Still Can’t Have It All. For me, every word resonated. Slaughter covered every key dimension represented of the challenges women face today in their quest to become business and political leaders while also balancing what they want to be as parents and care-givers, and what has to change in our work policies to allow these dual priorities to be met. If you’re outdated and closed-minded and believe that work-life balance or integration is a pipedream only for fools, then you’re contributing to the problem.

4) Extreme work demands can drum women out

The extreme demands of many 24/7 work corporate environments today represent an impasse to many women who wish to prioritize life outside of work more highly. I’ve written before and believe this wholeheartedly – women are not less ambitious than men. It is the COST of ambition – and the struggle women face in pursuing their professional ambitions — that is at the heart of why we have so few women leaders today, and why women are achieving less and not reaching as high as men in corporate America. As Betsy Myers, President Clinton’s senior adviser on women’s issues shared with me recently, women tend to view their work as only one piece of the pie that represents their total life experience. If they’re forced to focus 24/7 on work for a majority of their professional lives, most women will choose not to pay that price.

5) Marginalizing of women is more common than we want to admit

As much as we don’t want to admit it, women are still being diminished, sidelined, suppressed, and thought less of because of being women and because they are different from the leadership norm. Further, women are pushed aside regularly when they make their family priorities known or demand time off after having a child (and don’t kid yourself – this is a form discrimination to be sidelined for prioritizing time off for child bearing).

We can deny this all we want, but it is happening all across corporate America – women are still considered “less than” in terms of leadership capability in many organizations. This will change in 50 or 100 years, and is changing radically now in the entrepreneurial world (where I’m very excited to be supporting women’s leadership growth), but not fast enough in corporate America.

If your organization still has insufficient representation of women at senior levels, do what is necessary to bring about true change. Conduct primary research at your workplace to uncover what is not working for women in the organization, and follow it up by implementing new policies, procedures, and effective training, education, and programs for men and women. Measure the efficacy of these programs and initiatives, and communicate effectively and authoritatively the mandate that diversity and inclusion must become a way of life at your organization. Finally, support your successful and empowering female leaders today as true role models who “walk the talk” and can give other women a powerful visual model for success.

6) Personal accountability needs to be expanded

I’ve read scores of comments by women (top writers on leadership, for instance) that if we talk about how women are holding themselves back from leadership, we’re again blaming women for how they blew it, instead of understanding that it’s a faulty model they’re trying to overcome.

I disagree with this line of thinking. Yes, the model needs revision most certainly, but this is a complex problem with many contributing factors. Within this construct, individuals have the power to take accountability, step up to what has to be done, and have the courage to make change, both on the individual level, and the organizational level. Women are today (and can become) great leaders and inspire other women to follow in their footsteps. I see it every day.

It is not all about the environment or men not doing their part. There are plenty of strong male advocates and supporters of women, and great male leaders who know how to pave the way for the high growth and engagement of both women and men (for an inspiring example, check out Chairman and Senior Partner of PricewaterhouseCoopers Robert Moritz’s keynote speech at Bentley University’s Center for Women and Business Forum). For true change to occur, we need the support of men, and to walk in partnership with our best male leaders. But to bring about real and lasting change, women must also learn to understand better the terrain they’re operating in — the ecosystem they’re engaged in — and power up their skills and accountability in order to navigate it successfully. (No, I’m not saying “Be more like a man.”) I’m suggesting that women understand what’s needed to succeed, and embrace their authentic personal brand, build their confidence and self-worth, enhance their communication, leadership and decision-making skills, forge vital partnerships, and step up to their fullest potential to claim the leadership authority they want.

In the end, creating a pathway for more women in corporate leadership will require change on all levels — individual, organizational and global. But we must start with you and me, today. What one step can YOU take – either as a female committed to achieving more leadership authority, or as a female or male leader with the power and influence to bring about true change in your organization. What will YOU do?

I’d love your thoughts. Does your organization know WHY women are not serving in leadership as your business needs them to? And do you know what to do to bring yourself forward and lead as you long to?
This article originally posted on: Forbes

Kathy Caprino, M.A. is a nationally-recognized women’s leadership and career coach, executive trainer, writer and speaker dedicated to the advancement of women in business. Author of Breakdown, Breakthrough, and Founder of The Amazing Career Project, Kathy is Founder/President of Ellia Communications, Inc. — a leading career and executive coaching and training firm helping professional women build successful and rewarding careers and businesses of significance, and reach their highest potential. A former corporate marketing VP, trained marriage and family therapist, and seasoned coach, Kathy is a Forbes, Huffington Post and AARP contributor and top media source on women’s career and entrepreneurial issues and trends, and has appeared in over 100 leading newspapers and magazines and on national radio and television. For more information, visit www.elliacommunications.com or write to Kathy@elliacommunications.com. Connect with Kathy on: Twitter, FB, LinkedIn

Guide to Women in Leadership

Organizations with women in their executive suites regularly out-perform others. Yet rising female executives (and their mentors) are frustrated at how hard it is to break through the glass ceiling. In this extensive guide, Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel into higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.

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Leadership Practices for Work Life Sanity

by Henna | Dec 26, 2024 | Coaching Advice, Leadership, Women in Leadership, Working Moms

Key Takeaways:

Work life sanity starts by stepping off the 24/7 treadmill and asking better questions. Instead of trying to “have it all,” define what you want, what “enough” looks like, and which trade-offs align with a life that matters to you.
Perfection is overrated—”good enough” can be a powerful path to peace. The quest for flawless execution often fuels burnout; letting go of perfection gives others space to grow and yourself permission to breathe.
Our sense of self-worth can’t be tied to a midnight email reply. When we act from fear or the need for approval, work becomes compulsive. When we act from love or purpose, it becomes energizing.
Priorities aren’t just lofty ideas—they’re your roadmap to sanity. Whether it’s health, family, financial freedom, or fun, get clear on what matters and use that as your filter to make daily choices.
Real leadership means reclaiming your power to say “No,” ask for what you need, and be present where you are. The way we show up every day becomes our contribution to changing workplace norms.

Want to take the 24 out of 24/7? I was at lunch the other day with a friend who is a senior leader at her company. She was talking about how many junior women seriously consider opting out of high powered careers as they think about having families. This, despite all the work her company, a leader in work-life flexibility options, has done to improve the situation for working families. In fact, a McKinsey study reports that C-suite executives believe the top two barriers to the advancement of women are women’s “double-burden” (work and family responsibilities) and our 24/7 “always on” work environments.

The recent debate about “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” has thrown fuel into the fire. The article is written by Ann-Marie Slaughter, a senior federal government executive who gave up her position to spend time with her family. On one side of the debate are those who feel we’ve made tremendous sacrifices to pave the way for others, and want them to believe that women can have it all. On the other side of the debate are those who want to acknowledge that there is still a lot of work to be done in society, our workplaces, cultural expectations that prevent women from having it all. They don’t want to set women up for disappointment and self-blame if they discover that they cannot have it all.

I’m not sure what the right answer is. But I do wonder if we’re asking the right questions. Asking the questions, even if I don’t have all the answers, creates a new perspective on the debate.

What do I (emphasis being on I) want in my work and in my life?
What is my definition of “having it all” and how is it different from “having enough”?
What are the trade-offs I am willing to make that are right for me?
What are my standards of success? Do they prevent me in attaining happiness and fulfillment?

We tend to blame society, our workplaces, our bosses for putting us on the 24/7 treadmill and preventing us from “having it all”. And yes, I am a strong proponent of the many changes still to be made in our work cultures that demand us being “on” 24/7. However, my challenge to myself and others is to look inside first and see what needs to be changed within ourselves. How can I claim my own power to make the choices that are right for me?

Here are seven leadership practices that help me and I wanted to share with you:

1) Take a step back and define success on your own terms

Often we are so focused on climbing the corporate stair master we forget why we are doing it in the first place. Take a moment to reflect. What does success look like defined by my own terms? How does this align with my happiness? Looking back when I am 80, what would a worthwhile life have looked like? Given life expectancies and good health, women can live up to 80 years+ and healthfully work into their 70’s if they choose to. Does this mean that I climb the corporate ladder to my peak position by the time I’m 40? Whose clock am I running to?

Let me share a personal story. In my career with Fortune 100 companies I was all about hustling for the next challenge. I had 13 assignments in 7 different cities over 3 continents in a 20 year corporate career. I was a country CEO for our division by the time I was 38, Region President by the time I was 40, running a business over a half billion dollars. It wasn’t until I was close to burnout at the age of 44 when I started to pay attention to what was important to me. I started to define my success in terms of what impact I wanted to make, what brought me joy in my work, what talents I wanted to express every day. Take time to answer these questions. Mindfulness and journaling are both great ways I get connected to my inner voice.

2) Set Your Priorities and Follow Them

The people I have observed that have the best work life sanity are very clear on their priorities and follow them. I have a simple tool that helps me prioritize (or else I am likely to chase the next bright, shiny object). It is a list of my five life priorities. I share these with you as food for thought and encourage you to develop your own: 1) Personal Health & Wellbeing (which includes personal & spiritual growth), 2) Connection with my daughter and parents, 3) Financial freedom, 4) Making an impact in the world through the work I do, 5) Fun/Friends/Carpe Diem. Yes, I know creating a goal to have fun seems a bit counter-intuitive but as a recovering workaholic, believe me I need it. I set goals each year in these areas and each week I monitor the progress against these goals. A bit compulsive you say? It works for me. Figure out what would work for you.

3) Get clear on biggest levers of success

When I was in marketing we used to remind ourselves of a wise saying “50% of our marketing spending is wasted. I just wish I knew which 50%”. The same is true of our time, energy and resources. If we want the corner office, do we know what the highest impact two or three levers are that will help us get there? Let’s not waste our energy on 80% of the activities that create 20% of the impact. Is the next promotion really contingent on answering every single e-mail and working 24/7? Start to step back and ask yourself, what assumptions am I making about what it takes to succeed? How do I know these to be true?

4) Reclaim Your Self-Worth

For many of us (I’m on the list too!) we associate our work with our worth as human beings. Unless we’re really productive we’re not feeling good enough about ourselves. So, while we’re happy to blame our boss for sending an e-mail at midnight, secretly we feel quite proud replying to it at 12:01am. I know this from personal experience. At one time I left a gathering of friends I had been with after three hours because I felt bad that I’d wasted all this time being unproductive. This was a Sunday morning by the way.

As we free ourselves from the notion that we must work constantly to be worth something then work becomes less compulsive. If the work we do comes from a place of love for the work, for expressing our creativity, rather than the fear of not succeeding or being worthy, it becomes more joyful and energizing. We may be well served to ask the question to ourselves periodically “Is this (insert specific work situation) coming from a place of love for the work or from trying to feel worthy?”

As a corollary to this, sometimes our self-worth comes from getting approval from others. Don’t worry, that’s normal too (or so I’ve convinced myself). I go in and check the number of visits to my blog. More visits and comments (hint, hint!) make me feel validated. It’s just important to be aware if you’re doing that so you don’t blame others for making you work 24/7. Awareness brings power because with awareness comes choice. Take a moment to reflect whether your work satisfaction is contingent on someone’s approval, versus love for the work you do or your own definition of success. You may continue to work yourself into the ground waiting on approval and not even know why.

5) Give up on perfection and start to embrace “good enough”

We often associate our self-worth with the work we do: “If all the work is not perfect then I must not be perfect (gasp!)”. Can anything less than perfect be good enough? Or, because we want everything to be perfect we’d rather do it ourselves than give someone else a chance to fail (and learn). So guess what? We work 24/7. As you embark on any task at work or home ask yourself what’s good enough. Ask yourself what are the costs of getting to perfect and whether you really want to bear them.

6) Ask for what you need and learn how to say “No”

We’re afraid to ask for help or resources because of how it will be perceived. If we ask for help it undermines our “Superwoman” persona. If we say “No” we may not be liked. Make a list of what you need and ask powerfully for it. Experiment with saying “No” in low-risk situations and see what happens. If you struggle with this you’re normal like the rest of us. Daily practice makes each of us a bit better at it.

7) Practice being present where you are

What sometimes makes our work productivity low and saps our energy is that we are thinking about how we could be the even more perfect PTA mom (and generally feeling guilty) when we’re at work. When we’re at home, we’re distracted from truly being with family because we’re thinking about the work presentation that’s due tomorrow.

Getting to work life sanity requires us to claim our personal power and authenticity – our power to make choices about what’s important to each of us, our power to become aware of all the reasons why we work, to be discerning and get clear about where we want to spend our time, our power to express ourselves to say “No” gracefully and to ask for what we need, our power to make the choice daily to return to our core. As we exercise these muscles, not only do they give us the opportunity to simplify the demands of life, they also give us the courage to be part of the change in workplace culture that is required. The daily actions we choose as leaders give us the power to change our workplace norms.

In the book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”, a hospice nurse chronicled the five biggest regrets of people whose perspective on life sharpened as they got closer to losing it: 1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me, 2) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard, 3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings, 4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends 5) I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Important lessons about living from those that are dying. These are my wishes for all of us.

I welcome your comments and feedback. Do you recognize yourself in any of the scenarios above? What work life practices do you have to share with others about how you claim your work life sanity?

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High-Achieving Women Think Differently

by Paula | Dec 24, 2024 | Commentary, InPower Women Blog

Key Takeaways:

High-Achieving Women Reject Perfectionism: They focus on doing their best rather than striving for unattainable perfection, which helps reduce stress and increase productivity.
They Recognize Their Limits: Understanding that they can’t do it all alone, they seek support and delegate tasks to maintain balance and well-being.
They Set Healthy Boundaries: By learning to say “no” when necessary, they protect their time and energy, ensuring they can focus on their priorities.
They Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Viewing failures as chances to grow, they maintain resilience and continue progressing toward their goals.
They Redefine Success on Their Own Terms: Rather than adhering to societal expectations, they define what success means for them personally, aligning their actions with their values.

People carry with them a set of rules or beliefs about the way they feel the world should operate. These beliefs are shaped by your experiences, the way you were raised, your values, your friends, popular culture, and more. For many successful women, their deeply held beliefs about how they should live and work produce faulty assumptions or “crooked thinking” that underlie stress patterns. Dr. Harriet Braiker identified a number of faulty assumptions found in high-achieving women, and I’ve added strategies for breaking the stress cycle each creates. Here are seven of the most common:

I have to be perfect and do things perfectly. This faulty assumption can be blamed for procrastination, lack of wanting to hear feedback from others for fear of being criticized, and the tendency to judge yourself and others by very rigid standards.

Stress less: Instead of aiming for perfection, which is unattainable, do as well as you possibly can and call it a day. Focus on achievement rather than perfection.

I should be able to manage it all and accomplish it all without feeling stressed or tired. This belief usually shows up when women examine their stress response – “I thought I’d be able to handle more;” or, “I feel so tired at the end of the day.” This faulty assumption leads many women to think that they are the sole cause of their stress.

Stress less: Pay attention to physical warning signs – digestive issues, headaches, muscle spasms, skin issues, and more. In addition, monitor your energy levels during the day. Take breaks when you need to. Eat regularly. Get some fresh air. Ask for help!

I have to prove myself to everyone. At work, women may question whether they are valued and accepted members of the team and as a result, load up their already busy schedules with extra projects. At home, a woman might think she has to cook homemade meals, keep a spotless house, and be the world’s best romantic partner. As Dr. Braiker suggests, “The debilitating nature of holding this expectation lies in the lack of criteria for defining proof. If you always have to prove your value each time a new demand or opportunity arises, then, in fact, you have not proven your value at all” (Braiker, 2006, p. 169).

Stress less. At work, schedule regular meetings with your boss to ensure you’re meeting career objectives. At home, talk to your spouse or significant other about expectations for each other. You may learn that your significant other appreciates a home cooked meal once in awhile, but is perfectly happy to order take out several nights.

I can’t relax until I finish what I have to do. I heard this one from my mom over Christmas as she was rushing around the kitchen and several of us were waiting for her to play cards. Many high-achievers feel that relaxation is a luxury that might happen someday; instead, it is a fundamental requirement for good health.

Stress less: Find a way to relax each day that connects with who you are. I love sports, so I run and do physical activities. Some people garden. Others listen to music or cook. You can’t be your fabulous, high-achieving self if your tank is always empty.

I should be able to accomplish more in a day. Busy women often have to-do lists that are so long they will never realistically be able to be completed; and, because of your high-achieving nature, you continually add new tasks.

Stress less: Focus on quality rather than quantity. Did you finish several larger, more worthwhile tasks vs. twenty smaller ones? Also, keep track of what you actually accomplish instead of what you think you should have accomplished. When the focus shifts, many women are surprised by all they have completed.

I have to be a people pleaser. How many of you were told when you were growing up that “nice girls help others” or some variation of that phrase? Of course it’s wonderful to help others, but to do so while putting your own needs aside sets you up for unhealthy stress.

Stress less: Set limits and boundaries around your time and your schedule. Practice the art of saying “no.”

I can handle it all on my own. Each year, my mom’s side meets for a family reunion. There are generally twenty to twenty-five of us all gathered together under one roof as one family plays host. When my turn to host arrived, I refused to ask for help, wanting everyone to relax. I did all the menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning for twenty-two people for two days. I didn’t enjoy myself, was tired the entire weekend, and was constantly doing something other than having fun with my family. I learned my lesson. The next time I hosted, I put each family in charge of a meal and asked them to bring their own pillows and blankets to cut down on laundry. And what a shock – I actually enjoyed myself and was less of a bundle of stress for my husband and family.

Stress less. Build a network of people in your life who you can count on for help – and ask them to help. This network can include neighbors, family members, friends, and/or co-workers. Having this team ready when you need it will save you tons of stress and a few blood pressure points.

It’s important to identify which of these flawed assumptions are present in your life. The “stress less” strategies above will help, but only if you really understand the belief system in place causing the crooked thinking. The next time you are stressed, identify and write down the beliefs or thoughts you have about the event and the emotions produced. As you become more aware of your crooked thinking patterns, you can break the cycle and prevent your body from shifting into stress mode.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

References

Braiker, H. (2006). The type E* woman: How to overcome the stress of being *everything to everybody. Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, Inc.

McClellan, S., & Hamilton, B. (2010). So stressed. New York: Free Press.

Guide to Women in Leadership

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Five Myths About Women and Success and What You Can Do to Squelch Them

by Marcia | Dec 21, 2024 | Commentary

Key Takeaways:

Women and Success Aren’t Defined by Hard Work Alone: The myth that women must work harder than men to prove themselves often leads to burnout.
Mistakes Are Part of Growth: Believing that women can’t make mistakes while proving their value stifles innovation and personal development.
Humor Enhances Leadership: The notion that women must be serious to be taken seriously overlooks the power of humor in building connections and fostering creativity.
Leadership Is Not Gender-Specific: The idea that feminine traits make women better leaders or that they lack the “killer instinct” is outdated; effective leadership transcends gender.
Authenticity Is Empowering: Embracing one’s true self, without conforming to stereotypes, leads to greater success and fulfillment.

One of the greatest surprises and frustration I found when I did my doctoral research on today’s women in the workplace was how long it takes for research and literature to catch up with societal trends. In particular, in 2005 I found little had been written about the emerging numbers of strong, smart, goal-driven women in the workplace. As a result, many women felt, and still feel, misunderstood and mismanaged. Today, more speakers, articles and books give smart, strong, goal-driven women solid encouragement and useful tools. Yet I still find lingering myths about women and success that affect both their opportunities and their sense of well-being. Here are five of those myths. Some of these myths may still reflect reality in your workplace. Some are based on fading assumptions. You need to question if they are true for you today so you are free to make healthier choices for yourself.

1. Women need to work harder than men to prove themselves.

In a recent survey of working adults conducted by Accenture, 68 percent of the women thought it took hard work and long hours to advance in a company. Almost all of my female href=”http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/coaching”>executive coaching clients tell me they need to work harder than men. The result leaves them feeling burned out and resentful for the lack of appreciation for their efforts.

When I interview their bosses (male and female) and their colleagues, they all wish my clients would lighten up. No one has ever suggested my clients should work harder.There is a danger that if you work twice as hard as everyone else, you set up the expectation you will work twice as hard forever. Also, if you are working later than everyone else, does it appear that you have to work harder to keep up? Although this myth may be a truth in some workplaces, be careful you are not making these statements up because someone told you this when you first started your career. Your good results speak for themselves.

2. Women can’t make mistakes while continually proving their value to the organization.

This myth is the sister belief to the first myth. Yet being creative, innovative and an inspiration to others requires you make and learn from mistakes. You will stunt your growth if you only do what you know you will easily master. You will miss opportunities if you don’t take some risks.

3. Women can’t joke around or they won’t be taken seriously.

Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people” Laughter is multi-cultural and never gets old. All people laugh at all ages. When we laugh with someone, it is hard to judge them negatively.

Giving people hope and a vision of what is possible helps people move forward. Laughter can also accomplish this. In fact, laughter can be more contagious than encouragement to those who are resistant. It’s hard not to smile when someone around you is laughing. Plus, the chemical reaction in the brain increases creativity and productivity. Having a good sense of humor should be on all lists of leadership traits.

4. Feminine traits make women better leaders (or the reverse-women lack the killer-instinct and masculine skills to survive in top positions).

A recent HBR blog found that although men account for nearly two-thirds of all leaders, the data Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman collected suggests female bosses may be outperforming their male counterparts. Women were rated higher than men by peers, bosses, workers and direct reports, with the most senior female business leaders being ranked a full 10 percentage points higher than the top male CEOs. What were these “good-leadership” traits? Examples include taking initiative, driving for results, and displaying high integrity and honesty.

We should no longer claim these traits to be “masculine.” They indicate traits of a good leader regardless of gender.

And, no matter how many books or articles declare feminine qualities as essential to corporate success, traits such as compassion, insight and nurturing must be balanced with the stronger traits mentioned above. Even companies that want these more collaborative traits in their employees still only promote people into upper management positions if they demonstrate they are confident, assertive and can speak with both brevity and clarity.

5. Women don’t support each other in the workplace.

Yes women do bad things to each other ranging from ignoring people, to outright backstabbing. I question if only women do this. I have experienced men who do this as well. I believe this type of behavior reflects the lack of trust in the corporate culture more than the habits of gender.

On the other hand, I know lots of women who give their time and energy to mentor other women and to create opportunities for women to help each other inside and outside of the workplace. I would love for people to quit perpetuating the “cat-fighting” myth.

You can help make this myth go away when you quit repeating a related myth: I don’t have time to make friends at work. Friends open doors and connect you with other people. They also can talk with you and sometimes just be silent with you when work is overwhelming or discouraging. Coaches, mentors, and colleagues can provide critical eyes to help you stay on track. Biologically, when you socially connect with others, you activate the brain regions that improve health and increase creativity.

Take time to create your positive conspiracy of change. The more women stand together to remove these myths, the better off we all will be.

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Advanced Conflict Management For Leaders

by Dana Theus | Dec 19, 2024 | Coaching Advice, People Skills

Key Takeaways:

Conflict Management Starts with Perspective: Recognizing and naming differing perspectives in a conflict can be the first step toward resolution.
The “Right vs. Right” Principle: Understanding that each side in a conflict is often protecting something valuable can help in finding common ground.
Acknowledgment Diffuses Tension: Truly acknowledging each party’s concerns can reduce defensiveness and open the door to constructive dialogue.
Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Separating personal grievances from the core issues can clarify the real points of contention.
Inner Work Enhances Leadership: Addressing your own emotional triggers can make conflict management tools more effective.

In my consulting and coaching practice, I often have to manage tricky meeting and conflict management dynamics and coach my clients to do the same. As I’ve mentioned before, many of my secrets are on Amazon.com in the simple and powerful principles of “The PRIMES” by Chris McGoff. These powerful principles can help anyone become a stronger leader, whether it’s your meeting going haywire or someone else’s.

Full disclosure: I helped McGoff edit “The PRIMES.” I’m a fan for a reason. This stuff really works!

Often when conflict arises in a meeting, you can manage it by seeing how the two sides are unable to appreciate each other’s perspective. Once you can see the divide, you can name it and as you name it, they begin to see it too. When you verbalize distinctions so others can see them more clearly, the conflict often clears up. But sometimes, just pointing out perspectives isn’t enough to actually resolve the conflict — it’s only step one. When this is the case, you need to deploy deeper conflict-resolution skills.

I gave an example of conflict management in a previous post and how the Big Hat-Little Hat PRIME was in play. In another meeting I attended with my client arecently, the accounting folks were championing a “big hat” perspective — working to protect the company’s broader interests in maintaining a uniform accounts receivable policy. This contrasted to the product team’s “little hat” perspective — where they were championing the narrower interests of a few beta customers who didn’t want to pay for a service that wasn’t working yet.

Naming these perspectives didn’t clear up the conflict, though it did diffuse it a bit. To bring the meeting to a satisfactory conclusion my client had to deploy a deeper principle.

The Power Of Acknowledgement

When naming the perspectives in a meeting works and moves the meeting to more productive direction, it’s because naming the two sides actually begins to invoke a deeper principle that McGoff calls Right vs. Right. This deeper principle recognizes that in most arguments, the energy driving the conflict is the simple need for each side to feel that the most important thing they are trying to protect is heard, acknowledged and appreciated.

As soon as the combatants feel their deepest point has been truly acknowledged, a lot of the angry wind falls out of their sails, and even if it doesn’t all dissipate, everyone else in the room gets a clearer view of the true challenges that must be managed. Right vs. Right conflict cannot be “won,” it can only be managed. Once everyone realizes this, things move forward more smoothly.

This principle honors the fact that everyone in an argument is working to protect something “right and good.” Even if they are doing a bad job of identifying what that is, when the “right and good” thing they want to protect is surfaced, everyone can appreciate it more clearly. When the group can acknowledge the “right” thing each side is advocating, then leader can guide the group into a productive problem-solving dialog that seeks to manage this collision of “right and good” interests.

In the example above, the accounting department’s “right” thing was the fact that uniform accounting standards allow for efficiencies in processing the financial lifeblood of the company and build in principles of fairness in how the company deals with customers. These are right and good objectives.

Despite the way the accounting team heard the argument, the product team wasn’t arguing for an exception because they wanted to create inefficiencies. Their “right” thing was an interest in maintaining a strong relationship with an important customer base using a beta product. They recognized that when the product isn’t working, insisting on payment is likely to damage the customer trust that the company is working so hard to establish during the (often painful-by-necessity) beta process.

To move the group towards productive resolution, my client had to actually name both the “right and good” aspects of this discussion — accounting efficiency and fairness vs. customer trust-building and relationship — and specifically point out that neither of these perspectives was wrong. Both perspectives were important to the company’s success. She then tasked the people in the meeting with managing the two right perspectives in the discussion instead of trying to make someone on the other side wrong. The meeting concluded with an agreement to develop an accounting exception policy that would honor beta customers’ unique experience and allow for payment requests when the product was functioning to meet their needs.

Managing Baggage

Broken down like this example, the two “rights” can seem rather obvious, but many of us are not very skilled at unbundling the “right thing” we are championing and distinguishing it from the baggage we carry. The baggage often becomes even harder to unbundle because it’s all tangled up with relationship dysfunctions we might have had with the individuals or teams on the other side of our arguments. Sometimes we go into a meeting about accounts receivable policies without having put aside resentment about how the revenue-recognition debate ended last quarter. Before you know it, the two “right” issues at the core of the present argument are confused in our minds — and everyone else’s — and the argument is completely out of control.

Using tools like Big Hat-Little Hat and Right vs. Right are powerful ways to manage these kind of meeting dynamics, move past baggage and initiate productive discussions. In some cases, one of the “rights” at issue has to do with baggage, and Right vs. Right will help you unveil the old baggage without making anyone “wrong,” thereby avoiding teeing off the old argument again.

Sometimes, these conflict management tools aren’t enough to manage other people’s baggage because you have some of your own. When your own baggage triggers you, do some inner work on yourself and you’ll be surprised to see how these tools become ten times more impactful almost immediately. (Our inner selves are just that powerful!)

You don’t have to be leading the meeting for these techniques to be effective — anyone can do this. I had a senior executive client come to me last week aglow because in a joint venture meeting she’d attended (but not chaired) she’d used the Right vs. Right principle to bridge a conflict between partners, turning a 3-year-old argument into a productive discussion in less than 30 minutes.

This post originally appeared on SmartBlog on Leadership. For more insights and tools to help you become a great leader, check out our InPower Leadership Program.

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What Is InPowered Leadership? (A Manifesto)

by Dana Theus | Dec 17, 2024 | Coaching Advice, Insights & Inspiration

Key Takeaways:

Leadership Begins Within: InPowered Leadership emphasizes that true leadership starts with self-awareness and inner strength, enabling leaders to navigate challenges with authenticity and purpose.
Embracing Reality Over Idealism: This approach encourages leaders to confront the present moment without fear, focusing on actionable steps to create meaningful change.
Purpose-Driven Action: Leaders are guided by a deep sense of trust and purpose, aligning daily objectives with a higher mission to inspire and motivate their teams.
Effective Group Dynamics: InPowered Leaders excel at facilitating group processes, fostering collaboration, and managing energy to achieve shared goals and outcomes.
Sustained Personal Power: By maintaining personal integrity and autonomy, InPowered Leaders navigate organizational dynamics without compromising their core values.

The cohort of leaders who will reclaim leadership to achieve great things in the world won’t succeed out of idealism, an extreme sense of perfection or personal heroism. We will succeed because we see ourselves and the world for what is and because we master the ability to motivate groups we lead to access their full power to create transformative outcomes.

InPower Leaders derive our power from within ourselves first and foremost, owning who we are and freeing ourselves to be at choice and at cause in the world, regardless of our external circumstances. We move through the world with intention and trust, taking what is and working with it productively. With such clarity and perspective we excel at group process and choose our own actions purposefully to manage relationships, energy and intention in ways that make our teams powerful too. With powerful and purpose-driven teams alongside us, InPower Leaders advocate and create organizations, movements and cultures that unfold amazing change in the world.

Recognizing InPower Leaders Among Us

InPower Leaders come in all forms, business managers, nonprofit directors, PTA presidents and everything in between, including women in leadership. What characterizes them is not the role they play but the way they play it. Here are some dead giveaways that you’re dealing with an InPower Leader.

They know reality but do not let fear inform their actions when living in it.
They are driven by a sense of trust and purpose, pursuing a higher goal through the specific objectives of their day-to-day efforts.
They work with what shows up and do not waste energy in judgment and attachment.
They are effective at achieving group agreement and shared intent.
They are masters at managing group energy towards shared goals.
They create form and culture in the world, which allows amazing things to become possible.
Their standard of success is their own, persisting in bringing the gifts of failure and success forward into each successive effort.

The External Trappings of Power

Some InPower Leaders have the external trappings of power – title, authority, financial reward – but many do not. InPower Leaders recognize that if we accept someone else’s external power symbol by giving up our own self-directed leadership abilities, we give our personal power away. We understand this potential paradox of being “in power,” which is that too many sacrifice their own personal power to be “in power” in the world.

InPower Leaders choose to stay in their personal power. We may accept external power symbols to help us achieve our goals, but we do not become beholden to them and stand prepared to give them back in order to retain what is ours. InPower Leaders persist beyond any job, project or organization.

Achieving InPower Leadership Is Yours The Moment You Claim It

InPower Leadership is accessible to us all. It is a way of being in the world, not an achievement in itself. Each step we take in our power is its own achievement and every skill gained on the path of gathering our power back to us (for we’ve all given much of it away), is the path of success.

Don’t expect it to be easy if you’re looking for external support. The world does not necessarily think it wants to change and there are plenty of people who don’t want us in our power, because they perceive our success to be their failure. Don’t buy into that either/or mentality. That game only matters if you let it.

Your power is living inside you at this very moment. Celebrate your strength to lead and change the world that you were born with and take your next action – and every other one after that – in your own personal power.

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3 Myths About a Coaching Leadership Style

by Dana Theus | Dec 15, 2024 | Coaching Advice, Employee Engagement, Leadership

Key Takeaways:

Coaching Leadership Style Empowers Teams: Instead of providing all the answers, coaching leaders guide their team members to find solutions, fostering independence and confidence.
Focus on Development Over Control: This leadership style emphasizes developing others’ capabilities rather than micromanaging, leading to a more engaged and competent team.
Encourages Accountability: By promoting self-reflection and responsibility, coaching leaders help individuals take ownership of their actions and outcomes.
Builds Trust and Collaboration: Open communication and mutual respect are hallmarks of coaching leadership, creating a supportive and collaborative work environment.
Adapts to Individual Needs: Coaching leaders recognize that each team member is unique and tailor their approach to support individual growth and development.

The more authority you gain in an organization, the more you realize that your greatest impact results from growing other leaders rather than simply making decisions and doing things yourself. This basic dynamic of leadership isn’t always obvious to those with less authority. When you don’t have it, authority looks like power. When you have it, you know you’ll never have enough authority or power to solve all the problems that have landed on your shoulders. When leaders come to this realization, I usually gear up my executive coaching services to help them develop their own Coaching Leadership Style. Generally we begin by getting clear on what is (and isn’t) Coaching Leadership, and debunk some common myths about leadership along the way.

What is a Coaching Leadership Style?

Your leadership style essentially refers to patterns in the way you typically deal with things. If people who are late with assignments regularly receive an angry blast from you, you have an angry leadership style and “don’t suffer fools.” If you take on disagreements and work to develop consensus, you have a mediation leadership style and “don’t shy away from conflict.” If you give out assignments with more vision than instruction and provide input while they achieve success, you have a coaching leadership style. Coaching employees is like coaching a baseball team, you stand on the sidelines, lead in the creation of strategies and pray a lot on the sidelines when the team is on the field executing the strategies.

The sports analogy does break down at certain points, of course, but it is essentially valid. When you’re coaching others, even if you could do their job, you choose not to. You choose to give them the experience of working through problems, gathering information, deciding what to do and (as much as possible) living with the results. You don’t do this because you’re lazy. You do it to help them become more capable leaders. You do it to learn what their capabilities are, so you know how and when to rely on them in the future. You do it so you can trust them to manage the details of their areas so you can focus on other areas where less capable leaders are in charge.

Coaching leadership can be either formal or informal, depending on the person and the organization. Personally I encourage all my clients to develop a comfort level with this style of leadership so they can decide when and where to use it most effectively.

Myth #1: Good leaders always know the answer

I have one client who has to stave off a panic attack whenever her team comes to her expecting her to solve their problems, especially if she doesn’t know the answer. She intellectually knows she shouldn’t do their jobs for them, but she’s emotionally petrified that if she doesn’t answer their questions, they’ll think she’s full of hot air. She fears they’ll lose respect for her. Their requests for her to solve their problems trigger her imposter syndrome and the mere fact that she’s not all-knowing is enough to upset her to the point of anxiety.

Part of her challenge is an irrational fear of being disliked. She’s worried that if she sends them away to resolve their own issues, they won’t like her and her natural desire to please becomes triggered also. With this mass of triggers, it’s hard for her to take the necessary steps back to see the best solution in the moment. Coaching isn’t always the best option for every problem — especially when the stakes are high — so you need to have the ability to get perspective before stepping into coach.

Over our time working together, my client has become better at detriggering her anxieties so she can see her choices more clearly. But even when she’s emotionally focused, she fights the urge to be the hero and solve the problems. Most good leaders are good problem-solvers, which is how they got where they are, so it can seem counterintuitive to let others solve challenging business puzzles, especially if it means letting them fail occasionally in order to develop. With less triggered emotions and more experience coaching others to success, my client is learning how to step back and decide in each situation whether to coach or solve. When she chooses to coach, she’s better now at letting others succeed (and sometimes fail) in order to learn important lessons of their own.

This tension between solving the problem and letting others solve it isn’t only relevant in a coaching leadership situation, but to be effective in deploying a coaching leadership style it’s a challenge you must become adept at managing. You’ll be a better coach leader if you’re comfortable with allowing others to be uncomfortable. In discomfort is where the biggest growth can occur. So letting others struggle with a problem you could easily solve yourself can take some getting used to. I’ll tell you this, however, the first time they come out of their discomfort with a better solution than you would have come up with, it might be even more disconcerting! So get ready to learn a few things yourself!

Save them from taking the hard road and you may miss out on a new path to success <=CLICK TO TWEET

Myth #2: Good leaders have “a style”

Consistency in leadership style, just like parenting and being a good friend, is valuable. It’s important that people be able to predict (within reason) how you’ll respond when they reach out for help. That said, too much consistency can be a liability for leaders, because different situations require different kinds of responses. For example, when time is short effective leaders don’t start broad, consensus-generating decision processes if they want to make a timely decision. Conversely, when they have the luxury of time, good leaders engage a broad range of employees to contribute to a collaborative decision-making process. Excellent leaders learn to develop consensus in short periods of time.

The point is that capable leaders develop multiple styles that they can deploy easily in different circumstances and with different groups of people. Research has shown that developing a good sense of when to lead in what way can actually contribute to your positional and financial success. This makes sense. Like a like an offensive squad in a football game, if you only have one play you’ll lose when you have to face a defense who’s figured it out. You need a full book of plays and a team trained to use them all.

A Coaching Leadership style is one tool in your playbook. It’s not always the best approach. Particularly when the risk is high and you’re not willing (or able) to pay the cost of failure, consider putting your coaching hat on the bench. At times like these it’s appropriate to jump into the game yourself.

However, I do advise you to stop and think twice before getting on the field. As I said above, if you’re a good leader you’re probably also a good problem-solver. You like to get your hands dirty and this can lead you to create situations where you believe it’s always appropriate for you to jump in and do the work. Be strategic and, where you can, create at least as many situations where your presence on the field isn’t necessary.

Myth #3: Coaching someone means giving up control

Some clients have told me they struggle to get off the field and be content coaching others because it makes them feel vulnerable. They believe it’s their job to produce results and when they hand over control to others so they can play the role of coach, they’re anxious and uncomfortable. Even those skilled in delegating can fall prey to this fear because unlike delegating specific tasks, coaching requires that you give people more room to decide how the work gets done. Coaching a team member means you give them a clear sense of the end goal, the what, and let them explore multiple ways to get there.

If you hand over complete control to others over things that are (a) important and (b) in your area of responsibility, you should feel anxious! That’s not how leadership works. Having a coaching leadership style means that you mete out responsibility to others within limits and use these boundaries to retain an appropriate amount of control. As they do the work within the boundaries you establish, you’re there with advice and guidance. These coaching leadership boundaries look like:

Deadlines
Budgets
Resources

You establish deadlines and then you hold them accountable. You give and take projects away as rewards for work well done. You give advice instead of making decisions, but you do it in the context of project boundaries that establish the limits on their control, which are sub-limits of your own span of control.

Some coaching leaders get into trouble with this approach by not allowing enough time for mistakes and learning. Even if you’re good at predicting how much time a particular project might take, you may not be as good at predicting how many mistakes will have to be made (and made up for) along the way when someone else is in charge of the day-to-day process of doing the work. A good rule of thumb here, stolen from the project manager’s handbook, is to double your estimate. If you think you could do the work in a week, plan two weeks when someone else is doing it to give you time to coach them along the way. If you don’t have the luxury of two weeks, and aren’t sure of your coachee’s abilities, maybe that project isn’t the best one to coach them through. Use your judgement; that’s what you’re getting paid to do.

Coach others through the work and you’ll gain a more strategic perspective yourself. <=CLICK TO TWEET

The bottom line is that by developing a coaching leadership style you’ll be able to develop your team to take on greater challenges, expand your own impact (through them) and step back more often from the day-to-day. A great byproduct of this leadership style is that doing it regularly helps train you to see the larger perspective. By stepping out of the weeds, you become practiced at the treetop view. You learn to see new patterns and gain strategic insights you don’t really have the opportunity to experience when you’re in the scrum. Best of all, unlike a sports coach, you can choose to jump back into the fray from time to time when the situation calls for it. It does take intention and guidance to accomplish, of course, so make sure you have mentors and coaches to back you up, too!

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5 Ways to Get More Comfortable With Chaos

by Guest Author | Dec 13, 2024 | Coaching Advice, Personal Mastery

Key Takeaways:

Get Comfortable with Chaos: Embracing chaos as a natural part of life can reduce stress and open doors to growth.
Use Your Voice: Assertively expressing your needs and offerings fosters connection and agency.
Find Your Community: Building supportive networks provides strength and resilience during turbulent times.
Run Some Experiments: Trying new approaches in chaotic situations can lead to innovative solutions.
Play: Incorporating playfulness into challenges can enhance creativity and reduce stress.

So much stress results from our sense of chaos. Most of us are not comfortable with chaos, and we need to be! When we feel out of control we tense up, releasing all that stress-hormone confusion into our body and brain. Lex reminds us that a certain amount of chaos is inevitable. When we get used to it, it can actually help us get ahead. – InPower Editors

By: Lex Shroeder

I don’t know anyone who enjoys chaos. Most of us don’t go seeking it out, we aren’t thrilled to encounter it. Even for those of us who have a track record of shaking things up (or who want very much to shake things up one way or another), chaos can be a deeply uncomfortable thing. Still, we know it’s inevitable sometimes and often essential to any real meaningful change and growth.

One of my favorite “power tools” in No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Must Change the Way We Think About Power is “Carpe the Chaos.” I love this principle because it’s very difficult to put into practice, but—I imagine because she has the longview of history after many years of activism—Gloria Feldt approaches this idea with playfulness… with a carpe and an exclamation point! and a very real challenge to women to not only trust that chaos can be good, but watch our own response so we can keep learning how to work with it more effectively… with more ease and less struggle.

In this spirit, here are five ways I’ve learned to carpe the chaos, either when I stir things up myself or stumble upon it in a system.

Unsure how to manage the anxiety some of these strategies bring up? Learn to detrigger yourself.

Learn how to surf

Some of the best advice I ever received about work was, “Listen, you just have to learn how to surf.” You might think, for example, you’re supposed to stay on the straight path in your career or in a particular situation, but you actually need to take a hard left. When this happens, you can fight fight fight, or you can stretch yourself and go with the current. Who cares if you don’t know the outcome! It will almost always be better than not listening to the water around you, insisting you know a better way, or giving in to fear. Learning how to surf is especially important when it comes to movement building. The waters run deep, there are plenty of storms, there are so many different actors all trying to work together (or not work together) at once.

Use your voice

In my work with groups and organizations, and in my own life, I try to use a simple practice: Offer what you can, ask for what you need. The beauty of this is that it’s contagious. In any area of your life if you go around doing this, people tend to respond in kind. So many women leaders tell young women Use your voice! but it isn’t easy to do in many of the environments we find ourselves in. As Gloria Feldt says, “Women are more likely to engage, or be engaged by, not screeching vehicular feats of daring, but rather equally intense though too often silent tests of their personal agency.” Asking for what you need and offering what you can provides a light structure to this vague idea of using one’s voice.

Find your community

Whether it’s thinking more deeply about where our food comes from and organizing farmers markets, or starting local entrepreneurship chapters to support each other in building new businesses that pay a living wage, or creating new platforms for connection online, I am convinced that we are relearning how to do community all over again. Community and connection have always been crucial to movements for social progress throughout history and will continue to be essential to the movement for parity by 2025.

Run some experiments

When things feel chaotic, many of us get quiet, do nothing, and wait for the storm to pass. Sometimes this is wise, other times it gets us into more trouble because it reinforces a pattern we don’t want to reinforce. In the midst of chaos is opportunity. When we don’t know what to do next, we have a chance to try something new and introduce new patterns. Of course it takes courage, but courage is another one of those beautiful words worth putting into practice.

Play

As Ellen Lempereur Greaves from the Life is good Kids Foundation reminded me recently, play is not just about being “positive” all of the time. Like any good actor, musician, or artist will tell you, it’s much more about creating space for new learning than keeping everybody happy. How are you rigid in your approach to change-making? How might you be more playful? Also, dancing is generally a good idea.

How do you carpe the chaos in your work and life?

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Lex Schroeder is a writer and speaker on mindful work, leadership, and systems change. She is an advisor with Take The Lead, an editor at The Lean Enterprise Institute, and a host with the Art of Hosting community of practice. Lex lives in NYC and works in NYC and Cambridge, Mass. She can be reached at lexwrites@gmail.com. Follow her on Twitter @lexschroeder.

This post about becoming comfortable with chaos originally appeared on Take The Lead. Take The Lead prepares, develops, inspires and propels women to take their fair and equal share of leadership positions across all sectors by 2025. It is today’s women’s movement – a unique catalyst for women to embrace power and reach leadership parity.

Updated. Originally posted June 2015

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INSIGHT: Intentions Solve Overwhelm

by Dana Theus | Dec 11, 2024 | Insights & Inspiration, Personal Mastery

Key Takeaways:

Intentions help cut through overwhelm: When the chaos of daily life clouds your vision, setting clear intentions brings perspective, helping you distinguish what truly matters.

Intentions activate your intuitive mind: Instead of relying solely on logic, engaging your right brain through intentions gives your inner wisdom a seat at the decision-making table.

Intentions clarify priorities: Visualizing your future state as if it’s already true helps your intuitive self guide your rational brain to focus on what must happen first—naturally sorting your to-do list.

Intentions offer calm and concentration: With one clear intention in place, your mind relaxes. You’re able to focus fully, allowing the noise of everything else to temporarily fade.

Intentions create progress one step at a time: By choosing just one meaningful intention a day, you reclaim your sense of agency and satisfaction, gradually navigating out of overwhelm.

Overwhelmed? Try setting intentions. Set ONE THING as your intention to achieve by the end of the day and be satisfied when you achieve it. Do this every day.

Overwhelm results from a lack of distinction. When you’re flying over the forest the gullies, fallen trees and open spaces are clear. It’s easy to chart a path. But when you’re in the thick of it, weeds tickling your cheek, you can’t see the obstacles until they’re blocking your way. Every step is overwhelming because you don’t have the perspective to see the distinctions that would help you chart an easier course. Setting intentions can help.

We can’t always fly up to see the territory ahead as clearly as we’d like. Our information is imperfect and the future is a moveable target, but most of us leave a key tool in our toolkit untapped. We ask our left brains to figure out as much as they can to guide us, but we let our right brains go unused. We don’t ask our “knowing” self for advice often enough.

This is too bad. Our intuitive right brain has powerful skills to help us prioritize how we spend our time and energy, even when the future is unclear. We can use intentions to activate our intuitive skills to help us.

Intentions tap our right brain knowing skills fluidly and easily, helping us create distinctions that immediately begin to prioritize the mess of tasks and opportunities in front of us.

Intentions result from an intuitive state and when your successful future state is clear in your mind, as though you’d already achieved it, everything overwhelming you begins to come into prioritized focus very quickly. Before you know it your intuitive self will begin to show your rational brain that in order for your intention to be true, some other things must become true first. Your rational mind begins to calm down and focus on the priorities that make the rest of it possible. Intentions allow you to relax, concentrate and let everything else recede for a while, until they become critical to your intention.

Intention allows you to focus on what’s in front of you without worrying about the rest of it. All that other stuff will still be there when you’ve achieved your intention, though some of it may have simply fallen off your list.

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Iron Man vs. Athena for CEO – Leadership Battle of the Sexes?

by Dana Theus | Dec 9, 2024 | Gender Research, InPower Women Blog, Women in Leadership

Key Takeaways:

The Battle of the Sexes in Leadership: Traditional leadership models often favor masculine traits, but modern perspectives recognize the value of integrating both masculine and feminine qualities for effective leadership.
Desirable Leadership Traits: Studies indicate that qualities such as connectedness, humility, empathy, and flexibility are increasingly valued in leaders, challenging the conventional emphasis on assertiveness and decisiveness.
Gender Disparities in Leadership: Despite the recognition of diverse leadership qualities, women remain underrepresented in top leadership positions, with only a small percentage holding CEO roles in major companies.
The Need for Balanced Leadership: Organizations benefit from leaders who can balance assertiveness with empathy, and decisiveness with collaboration, leading to more inclusive and effective leadership.
Empowering Women in Leadership: Supporting women to embrace a full spectrum of leadership traits, without being confined to traditional gender roles, can enhance their confidence and effectiveness as leaders.

I recently saw Iron Man III with my family and it was a good time. Bad guys. Good guys. Destruction. Even a humble pie big enough to go around. As I enjoyed the pyrotechnics and good-guy triumph, however, I was reminded of how completely our comic books reinforce the most unhelpful of bad boy leadership stereotypes.

In the three-part saga of Iron Man, Tony Stark is the lovable cad. The Hamletesque heir to the throne, who takes his place as King by killing off his crown-aspiring Uncle through brute force – in robot suits. The arrogant-but-brilliant, unstoppable and always-victorious hero, he runs a multi-billion dollar global corporation into, and out of, a financial nose-dive through sheer intellect and hutzpah while personally defeating terrorists and saving the planet from aliens. Of course he gets the girls, all of them. Spoiler alert – so that he doesn’t appear inhuman, in this final installment Tony suffers and survives the modern wounds of anxiety attacks, while saving the President of the United States from a fireball crucifixion of death.

It sounds comical written out this way because it is, but ask yourself, how many leaders do you know who aspire on some level to a leadership model of personal heroism that justifies bad behavior and unhealthy risk-taking? Delusions of grandeur included, a less comical but equally unrealistic vision of leader-as-hero is operating in our business culture.

This is too bad because it’s not what the people of the world want.

Literally, 32,000 of them were asked, and they pretty much said, “We’re done with that guy in the real world.” Thus ensues a battle of the sexes for dominance over modern leadership values.

What People Want

You may not have heard of this study yet, because it arrived on the wings of a Goddess. The Athena Doctrine (Jossey-Bass, April, 2013) summarizes two years of research conducted by John Gerzema and Michael D’Antonio on their research panel of 64,000 people in 13 countries. The authors made their name in 2010 by finding that global spending patterns were shifting fundamentally after the 2008 financial crisis. The research behind The Athena Doctrine, conducted with the same research base, shows that in addition to spending differently, people want a different kind of leadership in the halls of power.

Not only does the modern alternative hero NOT look like Tony Stark, in a twist sure to puzzle Superman when he comes out this summer, it doesn’t even look male.

Gerzema and D’Antonio followed a hypothesis that the world’s population was tiring of paternalistic leadership styles, which it associates with delivering little more than scandal, gridlock and a shaky-at-best economy. They questioned 32,000 people to find out what characteristics people thought were inherently masculine and feminine, and then they asked another 32,000 people to rank the qualities of the ideal leader. According to 64,000 people, more than half the characteristics of the ideal leader are “feminine” – here are the top ten “feminine” leadership qualities of the ideal leader.

Connectedness -Form/maintain human connections
Humility – Listening, learning, sharing credit
Candor – Willingness to speak openly and honestly
Patience – Recognize that some solutions emerge slowly
Empathy – Sensitivity to others that promotes understanding
Trustworthiness – Track record and character that inspires confidence
Openness – Being receptive to all people and concepts
Flexibility – Ability to change and adapt as circumstances require
Vulnerability – The courage to be human and make mistakes
Balance – A well rounded sense of purpose

What’s really going on here? Are global citizens become reverse-sexists? Hardly. Unfortunately the percentage of women in leadership has barely budged in the last 10 years (roughly 15%, except CEOs, which is 4% in the U.S.). Other stats that speak to our cultural regard for women, such as rates of sexual and domestic violence, remain frighteningly high. No, the people of the world really have a simple request.

The secret sauce that people so desperately seek in their leaders is nothing more than emotional intelligence.

So ask yourself and the women and men you work with, what could we accomplish if we left our heroes at the comic store and decided that in the real world of leadership, it’s time to grow up?

This post originally appeared on Smartblog on Leadership (@SBLeaders).

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The top six reasons why women aren’t leading in sufficient numbers

1) The differences between men and women are not fully understood or valued

2) Whole-self authenticity is a must-have for many women, yet impossible still in many corporate environments

3) Life, family and work priorities clash fiercely.

4) Extreme work demands can drum women out

5) Marginalizing of women is more common than we want to admit

6) Personal accountability needs to be expanded

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1) Take a step back and define success on your own terms

2) Set Your Priorities and Follow Them

3) Get clear on biggest levers of success

4) Reclaim Your Self-Worth

5) Give up on perfection and start to embrace “good enough”

6) Ask for what you need and learn how to say “No”

7) Practice being present where you are

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Key Takeaways:

1. Women need to work harder than men to prove themselves.

2. Women can’t make mistakes while continually proving their value to the organization.

3. Women can’t joke around or they won’t be taken seriously.

4. Feminine traits make women better leaders (or the reverse-women lack the killer-instinct and masculine skills to survive in top positions).

5. Women don’t support each other in the workplace.

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The Power Of Acknowledgement

Managing Baggage

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Recognizing InPower Leaders Among Us

The External Trappings of Power

Achieving InPower Leadership Is Yours The Moment You Claim It

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What is a Coaching Leadership Style?

Myth #1: Good leaders always know the answer

Myth #2: Good leaders have “a style”

Myth #3: Coaching someone means giving up control

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Learn how to surf

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