by Guest Author | Mar 12, 2013 | InPower Women Blog, Women in Leadership
I hate Women’s History Month. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s vitally important to keep remembering that – and why – women matter. It’s crucial that we keep examining and updating our perceptions of women, so that we see them in ways that are ever-more complete, current and correct. I just don’t think that Women’s History Month (“WHM”) accomplishes these ends very well. Unfortunately, WHM is often reduced to an annual box-checking exercise that masquerades as a demonstration of commitment to women.
I should know. I used to be a Diversity officer for a large organization. The traditional observance of WHM was this: We went into our storage closets and dusted off a bunch of yellowed lithographs of exceptional women. We put the photos up in the hallways (and removed them promptly on April 1st). We held a lunch and brought in a speaker or two to motivate and educate. Usually, the only people in the audience were women. And then we crossed off the “Women-valued-for-this-year” item on our organizational to-do list. We meant well, but I don’t think we helped anyone. Even though it was totally unsatisfying, I never figured out how to do something more meaningful. The only option I saw was to discontinue the charade.
Today, 25 years later, I believe that we should celebrate Women’s History Month (and every other “History Month”) by agreeing to make ourselves and each other uncomfortable. I would like to see March become an annual invitation to reengage, refresh and reexamine our collective narrative about women. I’d like it to be the month where leaders of both genders come together to assess where women actually stand in their organization, community or country. Where are we with parity, really? What advances can we celebrate, and how do we replicate and increase them? Where are the gaps between what we say we believe and what we actually do? How do we find that out? What subtle and obvious barriers must women negotiate that their male counterparts do not? What are the organizational ‘clubs’ and power centers in which women still have reduced access or sway? What are the beliefs, behaviors and systems that accomplish this exclusion? When we look at our key strategic challenges, what could women’s perspectives and skill bring to the table that we may be missing?
Women’s History Month is also an invitation for us women to enter into our own discomfort. March is as good a time as any to evaluate ourselves as unflinchingly as we wish our organizations would evaluate themselves. Are there ways in which I have held myself back from making my own small history? Are there situations in which I routinely choose comfort over challenge? Are there necessary battles that I’ve backed away from? Or fights I’ve been fighting ineffectively or for too long? Are there places in which I have abandoned my own vision, principles or well-being in order to keep the waters calm? Are there younger women around me who are withering, either from the absence of a mentor or from active sabotage? Are there some paths that I could clear so that other women can make their own history?
Men… you too. Are you relaxing your attention on parity, since the tides of favor and power are starting to shift? Do you levy criticisms against women that you don’t levy against men? Do you hold women in your sphere to higher or lower standards than the men? What one step could you take to check that your impact on women aligns more fully with your best intentions?
Avoid the token nod to Women’s History. Organizations, beware self-satisfaction because you hired a lunchtime speaker. Women, resist viewing March as a a month of sanctioned victimhood. Men, nap not on your laurels. For Women’s History Month, let’s put ourselves on the hook for real dialogue and meaningful change. Let’s be willing to get uncomfortable this month and see what happens.
This post originally posted on Leading With Grit and Grace.
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Guide to Women in Leadership
Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel in higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
by Téa Blake | Mar 8, 2013 | Gender Research, InPower Women Blog
Study: Can Single- Sex Education Make Women Less Risk- Averse? (Sosa, Booth, Nolen, 2012)
Finding: Assumptions that women are more risk-averse than men may be more about social context and less about inherent gender traits
InPower Insight: When it comes to risk-taking, the stories we tell ourselves may just be stories.
Summary:
Those stories about how women are risk averse may be telling us only half the truth.
Researchers gave students at a British university in same-gender and mixed-gender groups a chance to place a bet on the lottery. Previous research has found that women are more risk-averse than men, and the hypothesis went that the women wouldn’t risk as much on the lottery.
At first the students behaved according to the hypothesis and women in both groups were less likely to play the lottery. But then after 8 weeks the numbers changed and the women in the same-sex group were just as likely to take the lotto risk as the men (in both mixed and same gender groups).
This suggests that the risk-taking data found in previous studies reflected social learning rather than “inherent gender traits”. The results of this study suggests that inherent traits can in fact be altered by the environment.
Career Coaching tip: Becoming good at taking risks is an important business skill so if you want to get ahead, learn to take risk and don’t let other people – women or men – tell you that you (or “women”) aren’t good at risk. Your personality and/or social context has a lot more to do with your risk profile than your gender. Be deliberate and thoughtful about what risk you’re comfortable taking this skill will serve you well.
Category: Capability
Keywords: risk taking, risk, gender traits
FREE PDF
Guide to Women in Leadership
Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel in higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
by Téa Blake | Mar 1, 2013 | Gender Research, InPower Women Blog
Study: Do Daughters Help Ease Gender Pay Gap? (Columbia Business School, 2011, Ross, Dahl, Deszo)
Finding: The wage gap decreases measurably when a male CEO has daughters.
InPower Insight: Know that people’s personal experiences – including yours – effect their hiring practices.
Summary:
In a new study, researchers found that wage gaps between male and females decrease when male CEOs have daughters. (more…)
by Dana Theus | Feb 27, 2013 | Coaching Advice, Leadership
We all know we’re living in interesting times as technology boils under the sea change in our economy, but it’s rare that we can see it very clearly. As a business person, it’s important to see such future trends clearly and this presentation by Mary Meeker, Wall Street analyst turned Kleiner Perkins Venture Capitalist, gives us an unusually insightful look into our past, present and future.
The Future Is Now
I’m not going to try to summarize her awesome assessment of what technology is doing to our society. This is one of the few 88 slide presentations I really believe is worth viewing from beginning to end (yes, really, and I have the attention span of a gnat so I don’t say this lightly). There are so many awesome trends she spots here, but I will summarize the ones that struck me personally as important and interesting (sing with me: It’s my blog and I can pick what I want to….)
- The mobile web is the future (The slides and graphs say we are literally sitting in the middle of the inflection point where handhelds are overtaking fixed location machines, with vast implications for how we reach and interact with our users and customers.)
- Mobile-enabled business models to undercut and redefine “the way we do things” are becoming more possible every day (really, even getting your car washed has a new model, check out slide 66.)
- Asset-light lifestyles are awesomely possible without compromising quality of life (If you’re not a techno-geek like I am, skim past the charts and graphs to check out the section starting on slide 59 and see if it helps you re-image your life.)
Really, though, take 10 minutes and go through this presentation.
(more…)
by Téa Blake | Feb 22, 2013 | Gender Research, InPower Women Blog
Title: Women And Men Make A Great Team When The Woman Make It To Senior Roles
Study: Behind Every Great Woman (Bloomburg BusinessWeek 2012)
Finding: Many powerful women are receiving significant help – to the point of social role reversal – more and more often to help them achieve work-life balance.
InPower Insight: Work-life balance isn’t just the responsibility of – or the interest of – professional women. Men are part of the solution.
Summary:
As women begin to advance to greater and more powerful management positions in their careers, their husbands are beginning to have to step up more in the household and raise their children. Seven of the 18 women who serve as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies have or have had at one point or another stay-at-home husbands. Other powerful women’s husbands have had to settle in at positions in their companies with less responsibilities. This “role reversal” has grown as women comprise 51.4 percent of managerial and professional positions. Twenty- three percent of wives make more than their husbands and for women thirty and under, they make more than their male counterparts in all but three of the US’s largest cities. As a result of the recession, more men lost their jobs than women- three to one. Men who have been laid- off end up taking care of the children full- time. Thirty- two percent of men regularly care for children under the age of five and one in five serves as the main caregiver. As men take up a greater role in the home, they have faced criticism for being lazy while their powerful wives work hard.
Career Coaching Tip: As you chart your career and think about what’s important to you, factor your partner into the equation. Develop a joint plan for managing your family with a realistic understanding of the kind of work responsibility you both plan on taking on. If your partner is interested in cutting back to take care of the family and you like the idea, encourage them and let them know that they will be part of a growing trend of stay-at-home dads.
Keywords: Role Reversal, Stay-at-home dad, work-life balance, men and women
Source
by Guest Author | Feb 21, 2013 | Emotional Intelligence at Work, InPower Women Blog, The Woman Effect
Want to sustain outstanding results in business? Then leadership must build a culture and environment where both women and men will thrive.
The demand is right around the corner and the Millennials will expect it for young men are used to working with women as equals. Today’s college graduation population is 60% female, and business schools are about 40%. In addition, these women are earning higher grades, so how can you attract and retain this great field of talent? We know that organizations have not been successful at creating such a workplace that provides opportunities for both men and women. This is reflected in the pitiful amount of female CEO’s (5%) and women in congress (18%).
What will help us achieve the results we want?
First, we must have a highly energized, aligned and loyal organizational culture. A culture where women can see themselves in the leadership that is already in place. For example, are there female board members as well as women at the C-suite level? These Millennials will want to be able to see that there is a path and an opportunity for them to move to the top if they deliver results.
Is this reflected in leadership at your workplace?
Second, is the workplace set up to be flexible enough so that they do not lose great talent when they decide to start a family? My sister is a Physician’s Assistant in internal medicine. She recently gave birth to her fourth child and is still at the same practice she joined 14 years ago. Why has she chosen to stay working when she has not “had” to? Her boss was forward thinking and allowed her to create a flexible schedule that would work for her and the office. His practice was recently interviewed for the way they have set up and succeeded in providing excellence in patient care and research, neither of which could have been achieved if the office had high employee turnover or stressed out working moms.
So have you set up a workplace where hours can be flexible or positions can be shared? If not, how come?
Finally, research has shown that teams that are compromised of equal numbers of men and women are most successful. They communicate more since they have different interests and motivations. True teamwork means our team members are open to sharing ideas, helping one another, and offering and being receptive to feedback. Feedback is the lifeblood of productive teamwork. These diverse teams also have significantly higher returns for stakeholders. As Jason Velez, CEO and Founder of NY Advisory Group, shared about his experience with a female manager, “While an analyst at Goldman Sachs, my mentor was a female Managing Director who was the best in the game, managed a household of 4 children, while running the firms Broker Dealer Compliance group which was ranked best in industry. She did it all with an unwavering confidence, admirable integrity, and steadfast principles. That resonated with me throughout the course of my career as a business leader. I remember saying to myself back then, if ever I ran a business I would like to have ten of her on my team. Low and behold, my teams have been comprised predominantly of women who in my estimation have proven to be less egotistical, more capable creative thinkers, and dynamically passionate about the success of the business and the clients they serve.”
Are you assigning projects to diverse teams that leverage and enhance the skill-sets of all your workplace members?
What is really needed in our companies today is to provide the full array of leadership skills and competencies to all our people – not just some! Look at successful companies such as Google, Facebook, Zappos, Chick-fil-A, IBM,Yahoo, and McKinsey & Company, to name a few, as examples of business leadership that “get it”.
Leadership is all about helping people do the right things well, helping others succeed. Women can be leaders, as men can be leaders – together they can offer companies an even more successful and sustainable workplace!
Check out the resources in the InPower Coaching EQ at Work and Soft Skills Research Index.
FREE PDF
Guide to Women in Leadership
Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel in higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
by Guest Author | Feb 14, 2013 | Commentary
With Valentine’s Day coming up, there’s lots of talk about love. Well, what about love?
If I asked you that question, how would you answer? If you can, write down your answer.
That’s a question I did ask when I was conducting a longitudinal study at the Project on the Development of Girls and Psychology of Women at Harvard University some years ago.
Ken, a 36-year-old insurance agent, answered the question in this way:
I believe in love. I think everybody should have some. I use to have love, but I lost it. I didn’t realize what a precious commodity it was. I guess I took it for granted, and didn’t realize that it’s more difficult than I thought to obtain it from another individual. I think I should have some again. I think I should go out and find some.
In contrast, Sarah, a 40-year old mother of three, answered in this way:
When I think about love, I think about my husband, when things were good between us, and really wanting to be with him. I just really enjoyed being with this person. I just thought he was so funny. We really laughed about things and when we laughed together about something, it was like looking into a mirror. It made us feel real close when that happened, like loving. That stopped a long time ago.
The qualitatively different way Ken and Sarah speaks of love breaks down to the most elemental difference — parts of speech.
Ken speaks of love as a noun, a quantifiable thing that ought to be equitably distributed. For him, love is part of the world of objects: a static and fixed thing that he would acquire if only he could find it. Like a precious jewel, love is something to cherish, find, lose, replace, forget, take for granted.
Sarah, on the other hand, refers to love as a verb, as a dynamic process that happens between her and her husband, joining them to each other and felt within each person. Love is a moving experience — she is moved by him and he by her. Unlike Ken who is concerned with finding and losing an object love, Sarah looks for opportunities to start an experience of love and regrets love stopping. One captures a static quality to love, while the other refers to love as in motion
OK, that’s interesting. Two approaches to love — love as an object, a static commodity-oriented view, and love that moves, a fluid, felt experience-oriented view. Gary Chapman wrote about The Five Love Languages, but my research shows that it can be reduced down to these two.
These two ways of speaking of love shape two different worlds that come with two distinct sets of assumption. These worlds, so tacitly different, for instance, have a different reference point — who are they relating to when they speak of love? Ken, for example, places himself in relationship to an idea he has about love, which objectifies experience. Sarah, on the other hand, refers to love in relationship to another person, which locates her in the stream of fluctuating and changing experience.
If we objectify love as Ken does, then we create a static world of objects. Security is an acquisition of things; the beloved is a love object, predictable with certain characteristics; support is fixing someone as if they are broken; sex is working the right mechanical parts; problems with love circle around issues of performance (producing love) and control.
When we think of love as a connection with another that flows and changes with time, then security is felt as a continued sense of attunement with another; the beloved is an emerging, changing other; support is collaborating, cooperating and being with each other; sex is a changing journey towards a body/mind connection with oneself and another; problems are events that people move through rather than cope with.
These two ways of approaching love can be seen in the marriage vows themselves, in the Book of Common Prayer: “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Having and holding a person presumes that person is static, like an object. And, like a precious object, something to cherish. But love is also defined as an experience in the flow of life, where people gain and lose status and health. Love changes as people change.
The implication of this difference is that when people are having a conflict and feel misunderstood, they might be arguing about one topic but there is often an unconscious and subterranean struggle over the meaning of love itself.
So how do you think of love — as an object, or as a felt experience? In a consumer-oriented culture most people tend to objectify love, like the size of a diamond ring can be seen as an indicator of how much you love and are loved. Love as “in motion,” on the other hand, is not as reinforced in our culture. Some people are bilingual in love, weaving in out of objectified and experiential love.
Listen to how you speak of love and how your loved one speaks of love. Are you living in the same worlds? Maybe this Valentine’s Day you can ask each other, “What about love?”
This post originally appeared on Huffington Post.
by Guest Author | Feb 12, 2013 | Coaching Advice, Leadership
By: Mary Schaefer
Why it’s worth it to take your management skills to the next level, as a manager of people
I’ve been conducting training on manager/employee communication for years. In one class last year I heard the same phrase over and over and it really struck me.
“What I don’t want to happen is ________”
When it comes to thinking about initiating a discussion about a touchy subject, inevitably I hear some version of this. For instance,
“What I don’t want to happen is…”
- For the other person to shut down
- To not have the answers
- For them to get emotional
- For them to get mad
- For me to get mad
We do it to ourselves
I’ve been a manager and I’ve coached many managers. Over time we get to the point where we are wary of particular behavior, like the other person becoming emotional, getting defensive or playing dumb. We get psyched out by what we think will happen. In doing this, we give the other person all the power. Let me rephrase. We buy into the premise that “we are powerless” to their reaction. We disempower ourselves.
I’m going to be writing a lot more about what it means to be an Empowered manager and an Empowered professional. Today I want to leave you with this.
What’s in it for me?
10 Reasons to Be an Empowered Manager
- You respect yourself more.
- You feel more at ease and poised in any situation.
- You know you can be heard and influence others.
- Your strength and foundation of values inspires others.
- You know yourself and are realistic about your strengths and limitations.
- You know when to ask for help.
- You don’t leave a mess behind when you talk to people.
- You begin to truly enjoy your job because you feel more empowered, autonomous.
- Your employees want to do more, for themselves and the organization.
- You are asked to weigh in because you are known for your good judgment.
Are you empowering yourself? If not now, when?
This post originally appeared on Reimagine Work
by Guest Author | Feb 6, 2013 | Coaching Advice, Leadership
Imagine:
- What it would be like to grow up in a family that is always behind on their bills.
- To live in a home that could be featured on the television program HOARDERS.
- To have your home burn to the ground and lose everything when you were in grade-school.
- Then live in a home without an indoor bathroom through high school.
- Being diagnosed with bi-polar, manic depressive disorder before you were 20.
- Getting hit one night by your boyfriend and leaving with your car and your clothes.
- Becoming a single mom and going through a bankruptcy.
For Angie, all of this was a reality. She was living a life of chaos with very few calm, safe, hopeful moments. She describes herself as insecure, someone with a chip on her shoulder, and a bully. She emphasizes never being taught to budget, being embarrassed to bring friends home, and trying to escape her reality by forming relationships that many times became the cause of more pain.
When I first met Angie I did not know any of these stories. I found her because she is a hairstylist with an online presence and great reviews. (When you are new to a city, you look for both!) In our first meeting I complimented her on her online presence and she quickly spoke of her “Marketing Director, Miss Connie. ”
What follows is a quick look into the lives of two extraordinary women that have been transformed because they have chosen to do what they can, with what they have, right where they are.
“Miss Connie” is a client of Angie’s that deeply values Angie on a personal and professional level. During one of Angie’s most difficult seasons, Connie could see and feel the pain Angie was in and wanted to help.
- Her first gift to Angie was a Mrs. Beasley doll simply because it was something that Angie had deeply treasured as a child.
- Then it was a book to encourage Angie and to challenge her to think differently.
- Next it was a vision for growing her business and the letterhead and business cards to get her started.
- One day it was a netbook that opened to her new website.
- Then brainstorming about setting a goal to get a set number of new clients each month.
- Then it was books about budgeting.
- Then advice on moving to a new salon…
Connie identified a huge need in Angie and has mentored her for years. Never once has Connie offered a quick-fix, a handout or a “fish-for-a-day.” Each time she has offered genuine care, support, tools and accountability. And each time Angie has responded like a sponge, soaking in new information, learning all she can, being deeply appreciative, and never once taking that friendship for granted.
Both women inspire me:
Angie ~
- Because she chooses not to be a victim.
- Because she courageously pushes through barriers to pursue a vision of something better in spite of what life hands her.
- Because she is determined to learn and grow.
- Because she is willing to be vulnerable and ask for help.
- Because she is appreciative of what she has been given and does not expect a hand-out. Because she is looking for a way to pay it forward with other women and trying to build a better future for her son.
Connie ~
- .Because she looks deep enough to SEE what others do not see and is willing to get involved.
- Because she has given from the deepest part of her heart without enabling.
- Because she did not give one time and walk away, instead she has stayed engaged for years continually mentoring and encouraging.
No matter who you are, and no matter where you sit, YOU can make a difference. In fact, you may be making a bigger difference right now than you realize. Check this out..
- When Angie’s home burnt down she lived with her aunt for a time. When she moved back home, she did not leave empty handed; she was filled with visions of a life that included budgets, grooming and order instead of just chaos.
- When Angie was in high school she was given the opportunity to attend a Vo-Tech program to learn how to be a stylist. In that environment she received training and hope and a vision of making a difference for other women.
- At another time in her life it was her employer that provided an environment of learning and growth and planted the vision of owning her own business.
What about you?
- If you are in Angie’s shoes: What can you do today to soak up the opportunities around you? Who can you reach to, to learn more?
- If you are in Connie’s shoes: Who can you reach out to that needs encouragement, a vision or tools?
As we begin 2013, imagine what our world would look like if EACH ONE OF US did what we could, with what we have, right where we are… Just IMAGINE!
Chery Gegelman is the President of Giana Consulting. She is an energetic and inspiring speaker, facilitator, consultant and author that is passionate about providing people and organizations with tools to be more successful and challenging them to make a greater difference. Chery is quick to point out that any wisdom and understanding she brings come from her own failures and successes, the people she worked with along the way, wise mentors, years of study and the undeserved grace of her Heavenly Father Connect with Chery on her LeadChange Profile, Website or Twitter.
This post originally appeared on the Lead Change Group
by Guest Author | Jan 22, 2013 | Commentary, InPower Women Blog
Will a Record Number of Women Make a Difference in the 113th Congress? With the Inauguration in the rear view mirror, it’s officially time for the 113th Congress and President Obama to get back to work. Women were big winners in the November elections and the current Congress set a new record for female members when officially sworn in earlier this month. That’s the good news. The bad news is that new records means that female representation in Congress jumped from a high of 17% to a new high of 18%. But it sounds more depressing than it really is, as these infographics from Mother Jones indicate. Some fast facts:
- 1 in 3 newly elected members is a woman
- 184 women ran for Congress in 2012 and nearly half were elected
- The state of New Hampshire will be sending an entirely female delegation to Washington with a female Governor at home
- Four states are sending their first female Senators; Hawaii, Massachusetts, North Dakota and Wisconsin
And let’s not forget that there are now 20 women serving in the Senate, up from 17 in the 112th Congress. Making Our Voices Heard One of the biggest impacts women had on Washington was through the ballot box. There are very few things more powerful than casting a vote and women came out in force to make their voices heard. In the presidential race, women made the difference for Barack Obama. In fact, for the first time in history (or at least, since we started keeping track in 1952), the candidate who won a decisive victory among men lost the election. 52% of men chose Mitt Romney over Obama, according to exit poll data. The problem for Romney was that 53% of voters in 2012 were women. And 55% of those women voted to reelect the president. Digging a bit deeper, tradition held true as married women still preferred the Republican candidate, while unmarried women skewed Democratic. Women also made a significant impact in key Senate races where issues directly affecting women became the deciding factor. In Missouri, Senator Claire McCaskill (D) was facing Congressman Todd Akin (R) in a race she was projected to lose. McCaskill had won her seat during the Democratic wave in 2006, when her party had taken decisive control of the House and Senate. But her support for President Obama’s policies had made her relatively unpopular in her home state. It was a controversial statement from Akin about a woman’s body shutting down to prevent pregnancy in the case of a “legitimate rape” that shifted the momentum and led to McCaskill’s decisive victory. Similar comments about abortion also led to the defeat of favored Republican Richard Mourdock for a Senate seat in Indiana, another red state. More Women, More Progress? In my last blog post, I suggested that perhaps having more women in Congress would lead to more progress. We’ve seen it countless times in business. Adding women to the board of directors consistently correlates with positive financial results. Will the increase of female representation in Washington mean that more will get done? Michael Medved at the Daily Beast doesn’t think so. Medved points to examples like Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, who was unsuccessful at “working across the aisle” during her tenure as Speaker of the House. However, it’s important to note that Pelosi never lost a vote as Speaker despite a diverse Democratic caucus. Pelosi attributed her success to building consensus. By contrast, Republican speaker John Boehner has cancelled votes due to lack of agreement within his own party. And recently, the fiscal cliff deal passed despite the fact that the majority of Republicans voted against the deal. Was Pelosi’s success due entirely to the fact that she was a woman? Probably not, but studies have shown that it probably helped. The article is largely a lament on partisan politics and devolves into political name-calling. And while I could continue to pick apart Medved’s argument, a reader comment criticizing Medved’s thesis included this perfectly succinct summary: “Women in government aren’t much different than men. A politician is a politician, regardless of gender. There’s no need to bring more women into government. We already have enough.” Whether or not the increase of women in Congress creates less gridlock remains to be seen. But I, for one, welcome the increase in representation and diversity in Washington. It’s hard to draw definitive conclusions about the impact of women in Congress, because so much of the machinations of politics happens behind closed doors. But it will be interesting to see the contrast between the House, where men still dominate and chair all but one committee, to the Senate, where women lead five of 16 standing committees, including the incredibly important Appropriations committee, which Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) took over following the death of Senator Daniel Inouye (D-HI). And the ongoing tug of war between the House and Senate may also prove instructive. What do you think? Will more women in Congress move things forward?
FREE PDF
Guide to Women in Leadership
Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel in higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
