Welcome to our new Friday Column to give you workplace advice and coaching, “Dear Dana”! Every Friday I’ll be answering your letters outlining the challenges you have dealing with difficult bosses, challenging colleagues and other tough situations at work. Please write in and tell me about a frustration you’re facing at the office. I’ll publish a response every Friday and we’ll also be discussing these topics on our Tuesday Coffee Break talkshows with our guests! I can’t wait to hear from you! – Dana Theus
Dear Dana, My boss is driving our team crazy with the emails she sends us in the middle of the night. It’s not uncommon for her to ask for a response by 8am. Keep in mind, our official office hours are 9-6pm. She also emails my team directly and they come to me panicked in the morning because it’s 9:15am they are just getting to email and feel guilty because they didn’t see her 2am request. My team is coming to me for solutions and I’m not sure what to do. I have the same questions: Should I talk to her and ask her to stop? Should I ask my team to forward her emails to me and check-in frequently during the all night? I hardly get enough sleep as it is. Help! – Panicked in Seattle
Dear Panicked,
I feel your pain! I had a boss like that who was hired under orders from the CEO to “clean up the marketing department” right after our internet startup’s IPO. She came from a company which was notorious for round-the-clock work, and she honestly believed her 2am emails with requests for 7am answers were some kind of kick-ass work ethic. Sadly, her style conflicted mightily with my preschool-kid schedule and 45-minute commute. It’s an understatement to say it sucked.
From reading your letter, it sounds to me like you have two problems.
You know you’re supposed to do it to get ahead, but somehow you just find excuses not to. Emily shows us that it’s as simple as doing it. Just do it. -InPower Editors
Young women often hear “get a mentor to get ahead!” Wondering what that advice is all about? Read on! – InPower Editors
By: Joyce Akiko
Are you a strong, ambitious young woman who wants more out of her life and career? A woman who knows she’s capable of making a huge impact, a big difference for her company and the lives of others?
Then if you don’t have a mentor already, it’s time to get one.
A mentor can help you max out your potential, reach your full creative capacity, and feel more engaged in your job. If you’re a woman, finding a woman you trust to mentor you can be invaluable. Mentors can:
Provide incredible depth and value to your professional life by offering an objective ear and sound advice based on personal and professional experience
Help you identify areas where you can broaden your skill set to take on new challenges and responsibilities
Propel your career advancement– one study showed that women who had mentors were 56% more likely to land positions in the mid-management level or above
I personally had the benefit of 3 strong mentorships in my career. The impact has been enormous: my job-related happiness skyrocketed, along with my responsibilities, job titles, and income. Today I am in an executive role doing work that I truly enjoy, before the age of 30. I was able to do this largely because of mentors I found at each stage of my career.
The following article details the tactical steps I took to land strong mentors who helped me catapult my career.
Find a Mentor
Finding a mentor isn’t as easy as just asking the most accessible and conveniently located female leader to mentor you. The process is actually quite similar to the one you underwent when interviewing for your job: you need to identify what you’re looking for (the job description), locate and assess your top prospects (the interview), and see if they’re a match before making an offer.
STEP 1: What are you looking for?
To start, identify what specific qualities you’re looking for in a mentor. These qualities may include an open communication style, a desire to help others succeed, and a willingness to offer advice.
Likewise, identify what you have to offer in return. Your mentor will be spending a lot of time and mental energy to help you succeed, so you want to make sure you can repay by taking action on her advice. Are you someone with integrity and drive, who can truly follow through and show results? Are you open to coaching and new ideas? Do you enjoy going outside your comfort zone for the sake of personal growth? Do you practice gratitude by sharing what you learn with others? These are the types of qualities that a mentor will appreciate in return for time and expertise.
STEP 2: Who are you looking for?
Next, locate your top prospects. Look inside your organization for women who inspire you, who lead in a way that resonates with you. Look specifically for the qualities you identified. Note that you don’t have to limit yourself to finding a mentor within your company; sometimes the best advice can come from someone who doesn’t interact with the same people, business, and challenges you do every day!
Check networking websites like Levo.com (a wonderful resource for young professional women) and message potential mentors. You can also utilize LinkedIn to find prospects – search specifically for profiles that include leadership, mentoring, and service to others such as volunteering. If possible, find women with whom you have at least one connection in common. This connection may be able to provide a warm introduction to your mentor of choice!
Know that just finding someone who is willing to mentor you is only part of the equation. If you want a mentor who can help you move up the career ladder, you want to find a mentor who has sponsorship qualities (someone who can champion you for promotions or new roles).
As you identify potential mentors, be sure to explore their contributions in-depth. Look them up online, read any books or articles that they authored, any webinars or classes they hosted. Discover what drives these women, what they’ve done differently to achieve their life results. Ask yourself: do you feel a sense of admiration? Awe? Inspiration? Maybe even intimidation? If your answer is “yes! Yes! More yes!”, then it’s time to ask to be mentored.
STEP 3: Ask to Be Mentored!
When it’s time to reach out to your mentor of choice, remember that gratitude and authenticity are key, as well as brevity. Send a brief email about how you found her, why you appreciate her specifically, and ask if you can buy her coffee (or grab 20 minutes of her time for a call, if she isn’t local). Give a brief overview of yourself and your intentions, but don’t focus too much on you. This email is really about her and acknowledging the work she has done.
Look up a few articles that you think she may enjoy based on your earlier research, and mention those in the email as potential topics to discuss during your meeting or call! This will help guide the conversation, and also give her a sense of your tenacity.
During your meeting, be sure to spend time getting to know one another. Spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself. Focus on topics such as how she got where she is today, who was crucial to her career growth, and whether she has experience in mentoring and sponsoring. Learn as much as you can; after all, as someone seeking a mentor, you are ready to sponge up as much information as possible!
When you feel ready, pitch yourself. Describe what you are seeking (someone to bounce ideas off of from time to time? Someone to help you accelerate your career?) and what you can offer in return. Express yourself as authentically as possible and be grateful of her time (regardless of whether she says yes or no)!
After your meeting, send a follow up email to thank her for her time. Bonus points if you include an action that you took based on your conversation!
STEP 4: Share Your Results
Did you follow the steps above to get in front of your mentor of choice? Did you already have a mentor, but found the above article useful anyway?
Share what worked for you, what didn’t, and let others learn from your experience!
Joyce Akiko helps 20- and 30-somethings in unfulfilling 9-5 jobs get new, exciting careers doing what they really love, despite having no related degree of experience on their resume. Get her free guide “How To Get A Job Doing What You Really Want To Do” to learn how to overcome fears, figure out what you really want to do with your life, and get from the job you have now to the job you really want.
Someone recently asked me for my secret to making a good hire and attracting talented employees. I had to admit that I’ve never considered myself particularly skilled at hiring, even though I’ve made some stellar hires – if I do say so myself – so I had to dig deep for some executive coaching advice. But it came pretty quickly.
If you want to hire very talented people, BE talented. If you want to hire go-getters and innovators, BE go-getting and innovative. If you want people to think outside the box, don’t sit in your box.
We hear that women suffer from the imposter syndrome, but what exactly is it?
Here is Vreneli’s succinct description of the imposter syndrome:
The first time you get driving lessons, it is very exciting so you will feel insecure. That makes sense. You have never driven a car before. At the same time, you know that the biggest idiot can get a driving licence, so why not you? These are healthy thoughts. But then, a little voice in your head yells: well I’m sure you can’t do that because you are always so clumsy! Soon everyone will find out that you are not even able to get your driving licence! If you can’t fight that feeling off, you suffer from the impostor syndrome. Rationally, you know that you are perfectly capable of doing it, but you are still afraid of being found out. That fear and insecurity can be very paralyzing and you will be even more susceptible to these feelings in case of new challenges, such as job interviews, a new job, or in a conflict situation.
Vreneli Stadelmaier created a company, SheConsult, to help women conquer imposter syndrome. Watch our second video discussion with Vreneli on how the Imposter Syndrome affects your career.
About Vreneli Stadelmaier
Holding an MBA, registered coach, source of inspiration, speaker, entrepreneur, author, blogger and publisher. She owns the company SheConsult, which addresses imposter syndrome in women. You can get a copy of her book, Sure She Can to better understand her approach to overcome imposter syndrome. In 2015, winner of the prestigious Joke Smit Award for gender equality, awarded by the Dutch government. Divorced, married again (with another man), mother of three children and two bonus children*.
Guide to Women in Leadership
Organizations with women in their executive suites regularly out-perform others. Yet rising female executives (and their mentors) are frustrated at how hard it is to break through the glass ceiling. In this extensive guide, Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel into higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
Career planning advice should always start with, “You should always be doing career planning!” We all need this reminder because too often, you’ll get your dream job and think you’ve achieved your final goal. Then you’ll sit back, relax, and enjoy what you achieved and believe that now is the time for you to finally do what you always wanted.
Then 2 years pass and you’re suddenly restless for a change. What happened?
Career Planning Advice: The dream job was a pit-stop. It wasn’t your destination
I thought I got my dream job when I went to work at KPMG. I always wanted to be a consultant and for me, it was my next step before having my own consulting firm. I had so much to learn before owning my own business:
How to win and manage a large gig (3+ months and thousands of dollars)
How to work with Fortune 500 clients
How to manage a large team (50+) of highly qualified professionals
I was living in New York and San Francisco. I felt like Eloise of the Plaza – living in hotels with an expense account. It was exciting! Until suddenly it wasn’t.
What happened?
I stopped thinking about my next step and refused to consider other opportunities.
I was thinking about doing great at my current job but stopped dreaming about where else I could go and what else I could be doing. I heard that I could be a partner in 5 years and decided that was my next goal – become a partner before starting my own company. I placed all of my bets on a single path to reach my vision – maneuvering myself in the KPMG system to achieve a promotion. That perspective caused a number of problems in my life – including being laid off and unemployed for 3 years.
What should I have done differently?
Career Planning Advice: Keep walking
Accept that exploring opportunities is part of the journey
Opportunities will always emerge in your life with the purpose of helping you determine what exactly is that next step. Not all opportunities are meant for you to pursue; some are a great fit for a next step, but some aren’t.
Think of job opportunities like shirts in a store – you try them on for size and see which suits your style. Some will look horrible on you. Some will fit well, but not represent you. Job opportunities and the activities associated with them – interviews, research and networking – help you explore who you are. You find out what you like, what you don’t like, and adjust your journey accordingly.
Career Planning to Light Up Your Soul
eLearning Program
Not sure what your perfect job looks like? Struggle to network effectively? Learn what lights up your soul at work, how to find meaning in your work and how to tell your story.
Don’t commit to any opportunity until everything is signed, discussed and resolved
Even if you think you found your dream job – don’t commit until you feel comfortable about everything in the agreements and you sign the dotted line. Dream jobs, if not negotiated well, can be huge mistakes in disguise. There may be issues with management, the team, how the company operates. The culture and team may have sounded fantastic during the interview process, but the negotiation process may have been a nightmare. Or something comes up that you don’t like, such as no flexibility to work from home or set your own hours.
Make sure that you have all the facts before you take that next step, and you have all the paperwork resolved. A seemingly small nit about intellectual property could mean the difference between showing up to the new office, or your current job, next Monday.
Be grateful for the opportunities that you do have
Remember: not all of us have opportunities to consider. Even a horrible opportunity has a silver lining – it is a way for you to learn about what you like and what you don’t like about a job, work environment, and more. You get to take a step on your journey and make some decisions. No opportunity is a waste. They are all learning experiences.
Remember, your career is a journey and your dream job is one step, a pit-stop, to get you to yet another dream job, and another…. There is no final destination. As soon as you get the job, start reflecting on what’s next. It may sound ungrateful, but it’s not. You don’t have to determine where you go next right away, but be open to possibilities and opportunities. Let yourself be led on a journey to achieve your full potential.
Not sure what your next step looks like? Start by exploring some simple career planning advice and then move on to figure out what your dream job looks like!
I invite you to take this moment to dream about your ideal working mom lifestyle. Not sure where to start? Follow these steps to help create your vision.
Assess What Your Personal and Professional Values Are
What is important to you? When you are envisioning your ideal working mom lifestyle know what your personal and professional values are and then think about how they fit into your vision.
Please don’t think about another working mom while trying to decide what’s important to you. How she makes things work for her may not work for you. Everything about you is unique, like your children, their activities, your home, your career, and your family. Your working mom lifestyle will be unique, too.
For example, if your family is one of your top values, then your lifestyle should reflect this. In your vision of an ideal working mom lifestyle, is flexibility a high priority? Does your current job offer work flexibility? If not perhaps your next job will so you can be present more for your home life. (more…)
Have you ever had the “AH HA” moment when you finally get it?
Well, I am here to tell you that your “AH HA” moment may be just around the corner. For a few years I had been looking for my dream job. Something that took me to the next career level and challenged my skills. I repeatedly reviewed open positions on all popular job posting sites, social media platforms, and I even reached out to a few recruiting firms. Even with being a very active and social person I never really saw my personal or professional peers as a means of networking to get to that next level.
I will never forget the day when I received a call from a friend (we will call her Sally) telling me that she wanted to introduce me to (let’s call her) Liz. She and Liz had connected for dinner out of town in Boston. They happened to be traveling in the same area and thought it would be nice to have dinner together rather than eating alone as they often do while on the road for work. After the normal chit chat, Sally was intrigued to find out what Liz did that had her in Boston for the evening. Liz shared some of the attributes of her position at Kronos such as traveling and working remote as well as her enjoyment of the company culture and atmosphere. Knowing what Sally knew about me she inquired, on my behalf, about openings at Kronos. Liz shared that they are always looking for talented employees and welcomed a connection with me.
So after the dinner, Sally virtually introduced Liz and me through social media. I was very intrigued about what I had heard from Sally and was looking forward to meeting Liz for coffee that Sunday. When I walked into the coffee shop we both had a good laugh since it turns out that we knew each other casually through other social groups but never put 2-and-2 together. Liz told me all about the job and in return I told her about my background and experiences.
This is where the start of my “AH HA” moment begins. (more…)
The U.S. is traditionally the hotbed of global innovation and I believe it’s likely to continue to be well into the future. This is good because innovation changes the world by definition.
However, many of my clients have struggled with leading innovation – and from perusing the leadership and business literature, most other organizations do too. I have to ask myself – why is that? Why can’t a country that practically invented innovation as a lifestyle and workstyle in places like Silicon Valley institutionalize this important capability?
After much pondering I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because innovation so often happens in the unplanned places. This is something of a conundrum for many leaders whose manufacturing B-School heritage tells them that everything should be planned out, documented and accounted for.
Innovation – like its sister creativity – cannot be planned, budgeted, shoved into a “retreat” or predicted. It happens in the shower and in the in-between spaces of life and work.
Leading innovation is difficult because you have to risk looking like a fool. (more…)
Thanks to Sagestone Partners for putting together this awesome video, inspired by The Girl Effect (also an awesome video). And thanks to Mike Henry and the LeadChange group for sharing this so widely.
