by Guest Author | Oct 16, 2013 | Coaching Advice, Leadership
“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” Leo Aikman
Getting from A to B always seems so simple until you encounter the devil in the details. We learn in B school that profits come from high demand, meeting customer needs, low costs, effective sales and flawless delivery. Of course when things are working and profits are flowing, these things are often in place. What makes us think that’s all that’s in place?
Look harder.
Plenty of businesses have those things in place and still find profitability challenging. Other businesses have plenty of profits and plenty of excess, employee and customer dissatisfaction and other things out of whack according to B school formulas.
So when you’re at point A and the direct path to profits is blocked, look past the B school formulas. Find a path to C (or D or F) from which the way to B is open.
What indirect line can you draw on your strategy map to get to profits faster?
For example, I love this story about how Alcoa’s CEO Paul O’Neill dumfounded investors by prioritizing C – workplace safety – to create “habitual excellence” in the employee base. He declared that the company would have zero tolerance for workplace mishaps that cost people their well being or their lives, and began developing an organizational habit to empower everyone in the company to help reach that goal. His crazy plan ended up empowering more than just workplace safety habits and in a short few years Alcoa’s engaged and empowered employees were producing dramatically fewer workplace injuries and dramatically more profits. (more…)
by Guest Author | Oct 16, 2013 | Commentary
Everyone who works hard dances with the possibility of burnout, and sometimes we succumb. We love Paula’s 7 strategies for preventing burn out before it takes over your life. Our favorite? “Get real and go ‘there.'” What can you do more of to take care of yourself and hold off the burn out? – InPower Editors
Exactly four years ago today I stopped practicing law. I burned out during the last year of my law practice, which involved three visits to the ER, consulting numerous doctors, and experiencing near-daily panic attacks. Rebuilding my life has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but the years since have been some of the most rewarding of my life.
I’ve recently been interviewed on several radio shows, and regardless of the topic, people remain interested in my story and curious to know what burnout looks like and how it can be prevented. Inspired by your support to talk about my story in more detail, I’ve created a list of seven action steps that will help you slow or prevent the process of burning out.
Increase your self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is having the belief in your own ability to accomplish (and exercise control over) personally meaningful goals and tasks. People who have a stronger level of perceived self-efficacy experience less stress in challenging situations, and situations in turn become less stressful when people believe they can cope (Bandura, 1989). The most direct and effective way to enhance self-efficacy is through performance mastery experiences. When you accomplish a goal, your brain asks, “Hmmm, what else can I do?” Another way to build self-efficacy is to find a self-efficacy “model.” Simply observing a friend or work colleague accomplish something meaningful is contagious and increases your ability to meet challenges head on (Bandura, 1997).
Identify what you need from your work. Harvard Business Review recently published an article identifying the six virtues of a dream company, as compiled from a list of hundreds of executives. The six virtues are as follows:
1. You can be yourself
2. You’re told what’s really going on
3. Your strengths are magnified
4. The company stands for something meaningful
5. Your daily work is rewarding
6. Stupid rules don’t exist
How does your company rate? While few companies meet all of these criteria, use this list as a starting point to create a more rewarding and engaged workplace.
Have creative outlets. Burnout interferes with your ability to perform well, increases rigid thinking, and decreases your ability to think accurately, flexibly, and creatively (Noworol, et al., 1993). Even if you aren’t able to flex your creative muscles at work, having some type of creative outlet will keep you engaged and motivated.
Take care of yourself. “There’s always something to do,” I can still hear my dad saying to me as I sat relaxing at the end of my shift at his plastic injection molding company. “Here’s a broom.” I find it very hard to just sit and relax because it always feels like there is something to do (and there usually is). When I was a lawyer, lunch often involved wolfing down some food-like substance at my desk while I continued to read contracts and catch up on emails. While my work ethic was outwardly admired, I was not working at a sustainable pace. It’s seductive to think we must always be present, sitting at our desks, in order for our worlds to run right, but our bodies aren’t machines (no matter how much caffeine and sugar you pump in). And really, whatever “it” is (work, chores, homework) will still be there after you take a much-needed break.
Get support where you can find it. The number of people who say they have no one with whom they can discuss important matters has nearly tripled in the past two and a half decades (McPherson et al., 2006). The more I burned out, the more I just wanted to hole up in my office and avoid people, and that was exactly the opposite of what I should have been doing. I didn’t want to let people know how awful I was really feeling because I thought it meant I was weak. It takes time and effort to maintain social connections, but supportive people are the best inoculation against burnout.
Get real and go there. I had to have some tough internal and external conversations when I burned out. I had to figure out why I started getting panic attacks at the age of 14, and why they came back. I had to figure out why I thought it was more impressive to become a lawyer instead of following my heart to become a writer. I had to dig deep to uncover why I was a people pleasing, perfectionist, achieve-aholic. I had to reconnect with my values. Getting real isn’t always pretty (which is probably why you’re avoiding it), but true happiness and burnout prevention depend on it.
Increase your diet of positive emotions. Studies show that increasing your diet of positive emotion builds your resilience, creativity (see #3 above), and ability to be solution-focused, things that are in short supply if you feel like you’re burning out. I made it a point to start noticing when people did things well (and told them so), and I tried to stop being so hard on myself. Aim for a ratio of positive emotions to negative emotions of at least 3:1, which is the tipping point to start experiencing increased resilience and happiness (Fredrickson, 2009).
Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “Too many people die with their music still in them.” After finding this quote in another article I wrote, one of my readers asked me, “What if the problem is that people are still alive but their music has died?” And that my friends, is what burnout feels like – being alive but feeling like your music has died. My work involves making sure that never happens to you.
by Guest Author | Oct 10, 2013 | Across Generations, Coaching Advice, Personal Mastery
Do you remember how tough it was to enter the workforce? Yeah, tough! We love this advice co-created by our newest blogger, Sheila Berry, Founder at Living Vicky and her social media intern, Danielle. It’s directed at the newest stars in our employee pool, millennials in the workforce, and it’s chock full of great insights and advice. Share it with a millennial you know! ~InPower Editors
Ever turn in something to a supervisor and then doubt your finished project is good enough? Don’t worry; we all have that same feeling, and more often than you think. Everyone has doubted themselves and the work they do at some point.
We have to stay motivated and keep our minds focused on our goals. In order to motivate ourselves, we must first understand why we doubt ourselves.
Sometimes we doubt our own smarts. Sometimes we’re not sure we put in enough time, attention and research. Sometimes we’re natural “worriers”. So how do we prevent ourselves from being doubtful about success?
Prepare, prepare, prepare! Don’t procrastinate – hit the ground running.
If you are concerned about the amount of time you’ll need to put in a work project, especially around competing priorities, articulate those concerns to your boss and offer time management solutions. Sometimes just talking about it out loud gives you a chance to see it is achievable!
A boss would rather you ask for guidance than deliver a poorly executed project – or worse yet – miss a deadline date.
Build relationships with peers and other colleagues. They will be happy to listen to you practice your presentation; edit what you’ve written; or just act as a sounding board for your ideas.
Diminish the negative!
People doubt the unknown all the time. What we don’t know and what we don’t understand turns into fear. Take 15 minutes before kicking off your work and make a list of what could possibly go wrong and then list out the solutions to those issues. For instance:
- Not enough time – chat with your boss about taking something else off your plate until this new priority is completed
- Unclear understanding of what is needed – it’s okay to ask “how do I know when I am done?”, or to ask for clarification around steps to take or other people to involve. Also be sure you’re clear on deadline dates. Offer to bring a draft to them well ahead of the final date to make sure you’re on the right track.
- You’ve never done this before – same as suggestion 2 – ask clarifying questions and offer drafts ahead of time for course correction
The best way to stay motivated is to believe in yourself. No matter what the odds are against you, believe in yourself. Develop these practices, and soon you will begin trusting that you can take on any situation and succeed!
Until next time, stay motivated Millennial Nation!
Originally on: Living Vicky
C0-Authored by: Danielle Hewitt – Living Vicky Social Media
Check out the resources in the InPower Coaching EQ at Work and Soft Skills Research Index.
by Guest Author | Oct 9, 2013 | Coaching Advice, InPower Women Blog, Leadership, Work-Life Blend
Earlier this year when my youngest son graduated high school I celebrated with a blog post about motherhood and what I’ve learned about leadership by being a parent. Readers had a lively discussion on the post (when I posted it on Smartblog on Leadership) and several asked me to address some other lessons learned, including how employees and children are different as well as what role compassion and creativity play in the workplace. So in celebration of my boy’s first week of college, and more women in leadership than ever, let’s continue the discussion.
Employees are not children (and visa versa)
One reader made an insightful statement on the last post: “You don’t have unconditional love for your employees, and you can’t fire or layoff your child. Moreover, employees don’t want to be treated like children (quite a common problem). Totally different relationship.”
I totally agree.
That’s a confusion we don’t want to make for a host of reasons. How many dysfunctional work relationships would be fixed if both bosses and employees got rid of their mommy and daddy issues? Lots!
Having said that, I’ve certainly learned a few ways in which treating employees and children similarly can be helpful. Specifically, I’ve found that when I take a mentoring attitude towards both – not telling them what to do but helping them see opportunities in the situation where they are only seeing obstacles, both employees and children thrive. Mentoring in this way challenges our autocratic and unconditional love stereotypes for both bosses and parents. But, if you haven’t tried mentoring your child (or your employee), give it a try. It totally works! (And cuts down on the sturm und drang at home and at work!)
Leading with Compassion: Balancing our Emotions with our Duty
Another reader says “My expectations of myself and others have changed over the years as our two boys have grown. Maybe the next post will include “lead with compassion” and “tell it like it is (or ‘Don’t talk down to people’)”? (more…)
by Guest Author | Oct 8, 2013 | Commentary
We all know we should set priorities and say no more easily and more often, but why don’t we DO it more often? We love how Emily let’s us peek into her head for some important insights on this important work-life-boundaries issue. ~InPower Editors
I’m writing this because I’m procrastinating.
I know.
Even the self-proclaimed virtuous have vices.
Truth is… I’m supposed to be getting ready to do “this thing.”
You know what I mean, right?
“This thing” you agreed to weeks ago despite the fact that you didn’t want to do it then either.
But – of course – at the time saying yes was easier than saying no.
Then again, it’s always easier to reply with a quick “happy to help” than to thoughtfully explain why you can’t.
So that’s what you did.
Again.
And “this thing” that seemed so far away when you agreed to it is here.
And so are you.
Committed.
Irritated.
And by “you” I mean me.
What’s really frustrating is that I teach time management – and what’s really really frustrating is that I’ve even been on quite the soapbox lately when it comes to calendar control.
Here’s an hour-long interview where I talk about it.
And for those of you who like Cliffs Notes, here’s a 15-minute version. (Bonus: This interviewer has an Australian accent.)
Point being: I know better than this.
You do too.
So why is it so friggn’ hard to say “no” – especially when it’s not that hard at all?
Case in point: A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend a mindfulness retreat with a teacher I deeply respect. After I introduced myself, told him how much I loved his work, and mentioned that I’d flown 8,000 miles to be there, I asked if he would like to be a guest on a new podcast I’m working on.
Surely, with a build-up like that he couldn’t refuse, right?
Wrong.
He just looked me and said, “I don’t think so.”
No apology.
No long-winded explanation.
Just the truth. Delivered kindly yet directly.
Eventually, he did go on to say that his schedule had gotten busier and so he was choosing to stay focused on his top priorities.
Ah, yes. Those.
So many of us (myself included at times) think we know our top priorities, and yet we don’t fully allow those priorities to guide how we live.
We say “yes” when we don’t mean it.
We engage with Facebook over our kids.
We willingly eat chemicals.
In other words, we’re too busy to make the most important things – like self-care, family, and health – the most important things.
Knock. Knock. Peeps.
This is your one and only beautiful, wild, heartbreaking, glorious, and not-so-steady life. How are you spending it?
Don’t wait for an Earth-shaking moment of clarity – the diagnosis, the break-up, the loss of whatever – to get clear on what matters most.
Get clear right now.
And schedule your time around those things.
I’m in too.
Well, as soon as I get back from this thing.
P.S. I’m serious. There will be no blog post from me next week as I’m spending some good old-fashioned, disconnected quality time with my family. I hope you’re doing the same this summer. Xo
Originally on: emilybennington.com
by Guest Author | Oct 7, 2013 | Commentary
More and more women are going out on their own to pursueentrepreneurial dreams so we particularly liked Heidi’s suggestions for how to think about financing such an adventure. Good advice in here some of us wish we’d known before we took the leap! ~InPower Editors
Having it all and looking good doing it. That’s the dream, right? The one we’ve nurtured since we had Astronaut Barbie come home to Ken and ask “What’s for dinner, babe?” The big house, fast car, killer wardrobe … we want all the trappings of modern success. Throw in a couple of brilliant kids and an annual tropical vacation and you’ve got the American Dream. In recent years however, it may have seemed that dream was dead or dying. The news has been dominated by an economic downturn that has caused budget cuts and corporate layoffs as widespread as any in recent memory.
But, in the midst of so much bad news there’s a bright spot: America’s small businesses. And specifically, female-owned small businesses. In fact, reports show that women are starting businesses at twice the rate of their male peers.
In other words, more and more women are deciding to get serious and take their financial future into their own hands. And while choosing whether or not to leave “corporate America,” figuring out how to balance family and a new business, and ironing out the details of the new venture are all real challenges; perhaps the most pressing question is, “How will I pay for this?”
Whether it’s your dream to build a business from the ground-up or to purchase an established franchise, there are all kinds of financing options available ranging from SBA loans to equity lines to different forms of secured and unsecured loans — all worth checking out.
However, there’s another trend that is growing and opening doors for today’s entrepreneurs — rollovers as business startups, or ROBS. Simply put, ROBS allows you to invest your existing retirement funds into starting a small business or buying a franchise without incurring early withdrawal or tax penalties, all while protecting your personal credit. Essentially, it’s investing your money in yourself.
A great example is Bohnne Jones of Nashville, Tenn. Bohnne suffered four corporate layoffs during the economic downturn. While job loss can be devastating, Bohnne didn’t sit around feeling sorry for herself. Instead, she used her newfound freedom to seize the opportunity to invest in herself and follow her dream of starting her own interior design franchise, The Decorating Den. Today, Bohnne has a thriving company, an assistant of her own and big plans for future growth.
Sound risky? Every great success story began with some uncertainty. There’s always risk with any new business venture, but for women seeking the freedom of being their own boss and the potential financial independence that comes with that, finally turning that business dream into a reality can be incredibly fulfilling. The key is to examine all the options, weigh the pros and cons, and determine which path is right for you and your business. Consult outside legal and tax advisors, and seek out experts in business financing that can work with you to understand your goals and how best to structure the business to be successful. The good news is that whether choosing ROBS, traditional financing or even a combination of both, the American dream is alive and well. And women are leading the charge.
About The Author
As Vice President of Marketing for Guidant Financial, Heidi Keele helps people create the life they want through educating the marketplace about innovative alternative investing. Guidant Financial is the premier provider of rollovers for business start-ups (ROBS). Guidant’s services allow people from all walks of life the freedom to make time-sensitive investments using their existing retirement funds without taking a taxable distribution or getting a loan, in addition to offering traditional funding options such as SBA loans and unsecured credit. For more information visit Guidant online at guidantfinancial.com, twitter.com/guidant or facebook.com/guidantfinancial
by Guest Author | Sep 11, 2013 | Commentary
Is there someone in your life that you need to forgive? Have you reached out or are you still hanging onto the hurt? I reconnected with a friend of mine, who I’ll call Mary, earlier this week. Thanks to a big miscommunication about a job search nearly a decade ago, Mary and I parted ways almost as quickly as we became good friends in graduate school. She felt betrayed, and I was just plain pissed off. Rather than discuss the issue, we held onto our anger and self-righteous versions of what happened like badges of honor. Recently, Mary stumbled upon an article I had written and decided to reach out.
After spending nine years trying to avoid her at networking events and other functions, I felt a strange happiness about the prospect of seeing her again. My thinking had shifted to the point where I wanted to talk. Quite frankly, I realized I had been a big fat idiot and wanted to let her know that; she felt the same way. We spent two hours catching up with each other and realized that we had experienced some amazing parallels. Our inability to forgive had prevented us from being there for each other as friends – to share in the joys we had both experienced and to provide comfort during life’s tough times.
While research shows that training in forgiveness actually brings about improvements in both well-being and health (Hebl & Enright, 1993), actually forgiving can be easier said than done.
Realizing that you need to forgive and actually doing it are two different things. If forgiveness is something you want to practice, try one of these strategies:
Think empathetically. It never occurred to me that Mary might have been going through a difficult time in the years after our falling out. All I focused on was my own anger and how hurt I felt. In addition to promoting forgiveness, empathy is also a hallmark of resilience. Empathetic people tend to be less selfish, having a genuine interest in the well-being of others (Skodol, 2010).
Do a brain dump. Writing your thoughts and feelings about the event on a piece of paper will not only feel like a release, but it will also help you look at the situation from a different perspective. Ruminating about what happened won’t help the wounds to heal.
Connect. When Mary reached out to me, I was ready to accept her invitation. Your face-to-face encounter might not go as well as ours did, but you’ll feel better for having tried to extend the olive branch. You’ll have some peace in knowing that you tried to make the situation better.
Stop gossiping. When our friendship ended, I told my version of the facts to whoever would listen, and she did the same. The problem was that neither of our fact patterns was completely true. We took a bad situation and made it worse by talking about it to others.
Get professional help if needed. Forgiving isn’t easy, especially if the issue is ongoing or particularly traumatic. Working with a therapist or mental health professional can help you process your feelings and the overall experience at a deeper level.
While forgiveness has many benefits, I understand that you may read this and think, “This forgiveness thing just isn’t for me.” That’s fine. For many people, there are certain acts that are simply unforgiveable or you may have strong reasons for not forgiving. However, if you’re ready, I hope you give one of these strategies a try.
Originally on: Psychology Today
by Guest Author | Aug 28, 2013 | Coaching Advice, Communicating With Confidence, InPower Women Blog
“I am a really good #2. I don’t want to be #1.”
“I really love the job I’m in and don’t want my boss’s job. It just seems too political.”
“I think I could do my boss’s job, but I don’t really want that much stress in my life right now.”
“My kids are young, I’m already working as hard as I can, I can’t really take on that stretch project.”
In March, I did a lot of speaking at conferences and connecting with women as part of Women’s History Month. As women approach me with questions, I’m struck by the ambivalence I see in many to pursue the top job. I understand. I actually wrote about why so many women drop out of corporate America. I was one of them.
For those who want to stay, I advise them to get clear (as hard as it is given the trade-offs) about work life priorities and stop being ambivalent. Ambivalence keeps us stuck. It zaps our energy. Here are the five mindsets I’ve observed that keep us stuck. Do any of these apply to you?
Five Mindsets that Make Us Ambivalent to Lead
1. “Leadership is about exerting control over others and I don’t want to do that.” Women see legitimate power as “power to make an impact” rather than “power over a group of people.” Yet, “command and control” type of leadership is often what we see displayed around us. For women, social acceptance (being “liked,” being part of a community) is much more important than men, and if we perceive that leadership involves “exerting power over others” then we are reluctant to lead. To be successful as leaders, we need to be able to make tough, sometimes unpopular decisions. We need to be able to reframe these decisions from “bossing people,” to making decisions necessary to make a difference that’s important to us. Connecting to our leadership purpose is especially important.
2. “Taking on a leadership role will add more stress to my life.” Most of us lead pretty 24/7 lives and have the burden of the second shift as the primary caregivers for family. Actually data suggests that people at higher levels in organizations experience less stress than those at lower levels. Stress is caused by a feeling of “lack of control” over our circumstances, not the circumstances themselves. Higher level positions can give us greater control and access to resources. We can reframe leadership as an opportunity to bring people together to make a difference. We can use our relationship building skills to tap into resources that weren’t there before. If we are passionate about something it actually energizes us rather than depletes us.
3. “I need to improve myself before I can be a leader.” Fear of failure and lack of self-confidence are some of our biggest barriers. We often think we’re not worthy of leading because we’re missing important skill sets and need to have mastered them before we can lead. All leadership requires is the desire to make something better for ourselves and others. The rest we learn along the way.
4. “I need to lead like my boss to be effective.” Actually, we are most effective when we lead from who we are rather than try to emulate others’ leadership styles. This starts with greater self-awareness of who we are and the difference we want to make. Developing a clear articulation of our own leadership brand allows us to be at our most effective.
5. “I can make a bigger difference where I am than at the top.” Frankly, I am conflicted about this one. I left a high level corporate role to start my company. I wanted to make a difference in an area that was important to me. So it feels ironic to add this to the list. Many of us choose to keep ourselves at lower levels in the hierarchy, convinced that we can make a bigger difference there. If you’ve chosen to stay in an organization, ask yourself whether it is really true that people lower in the hierarchy have more power to make a difference than those at the top.
Data Confirms Our Ambivalent Mindsets
Research from 2011 from the Institute of Leadership and Management [PDF] suggests that women are more ambivalent about careers. The European study indicated that:
- 70% of males had high or very high levels of self-confidence, compared to 50% of the women.
- Half the women admitted to feelings of self-doubt compared to 31% of men.
- 20% of men said they would apply for a role they weren’t fully qualified for, compared to 14% of women.
Our Future Leaders Have Similar Mindsets
Do you have a young girl you would like to be a confident leader? I do – my 14 year old daughter. I was struck by research from the Girl Scouts [PDF] about how only 39% of girls want to be leaders. While 92% believe anyone can be a leader, only 21% believe they themselves have the qualities of a leader. According to the research [PDF], the biggest factor that drove a girl’s desire to lead is her confidence in her skills. On the other hand, social acceptance (don’t want to speak in front of others, don’t want to be laughed at, don’t want to seem bossy, people might not like me), and fear of failure are some of the biggest detractors to a desire to lead.
The research shows that to re-engage girls in leadership, not only do we need to help them feel confident in themselves, we need to change the model of who a leader is. Significantly more girls than boys believe that they would want to be the kind of leader who “stands up for their beliefs and values,” “who brings people together to get things done,” “who tries to change the world for the better.” We need new, more balanced, role models of leadership (among both men and women) that reflect a definition of leader who brings people together to affect positive change.
Our Collective Call To Action
If we want to prepare future generations to lead boldly, we need to be the role models our girls (and our boys) can look up to. As a TEDxWomen organizer in Atlanta, I recently had the opportunity to have John Brock (CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises) talk about why he is a strong proponent of women in leadership positions. In his TEDx speech, he talked about how growing up, his mother was his leadership hero and it framed his view of why women made great leaders.
Let’s take a moment to think about what prevents us from seeing ourselves as a leader who deserves to make a big difference, and then find a way to reframe this. My view of this is, if we’re breathing (do a quick check here), we have a leader within us just bursting to get out. So, let’s focus on the difference we are inspired to make, rather than all the barriers in the way. It will give birth to the transformational leader inside each of us.
Originally on: transformleaders.tv
by Guest Author | Aug 22, 2013 | Across Generations, Commentary
Last weekend, I did it. I pushed the last little birdie out of the nest. It’s not like he was resisting or anything, and this week he’s learning to fly all on his own.
Our last 2 days together while I drove him to Virginia Tech was very special time. He and I have grown closer during these last few years working to get him into a college cadet program that will support his dreams of serving our country. I can’t say it’s always been easy. Along the way, I made him convince me that a military commitment was what he really wanted (seeing that my philosophy is more pacifist than military.)
He convinced me. And then some.
This is his first week at the Virginia Tech Cadet Corps, and it’s basically a boot camp of sorts for the young women and men who have chosen a military style leadership program during their college years. My son and many others will pursue a major in a technical degree and a minor in leadership (one of the only undergraduate leadership programs in the country.) The parents have been warned that at the end of this week the kids will have grown up a lot. They’ll stand taller. They’ll be more confident. They’ll have begun to lose that peach fuzz veneer of childhood. They say the no-nonsense treatment starts the moment he gets out of the car and goes off to be shaved and “processed.”
He and I were both nervous.
When we arrived at his dorm, I futzed around getting some of his stuff unpacked (so he can rearrange it later) and he was whisked off for “processing.” When he came back a few hours later, he was bald and a bit disoriented. This made me even more nervous since he is my stoic one, the kid who can be hard to read (even though I’m pretty good at it.) His disorientation was not hard to read.
We putzed around some more and I got up the courage to ask him, “so how was it?”
He leaned down to tie his shoe so I could only see the side of his face. He said in a flat voice, “it was intense, not like high school ROTC. They really mean business here.” Then he got a serious look on his face, thinking.
I held my breath, wondering if I was going to need to give him a pep talk.
Nope. In the next moment he got a rakish grin on his handsome face and looked sideways at me. “Just the way I like it. This is everything I want.”
I exhaled.
Then I was overwhelmed with a strong sense of pride. My son is “Leaning In.” Just like so many young women and men heading off to college and beyond are testing themselves and pushing themselves. Just like so many of my peers who are taking a “no excuses” approach to work, family and themselves. Just like everyone who is committed to a vision of a better world.
Power isn’t just about how much money you have or how many assets you control. The power that I care about most is the strength to pursue the hard road and define whatever progress you have on it as success. It’s available to all of us at every age – in every moment.
My son and so many other people inspire me for leaning into their vision of success, even when (and especially because) it’s NOT the easy way – or my way. They’re committed to it with heart. That’s all the matters.
If you’re leaning into the challenging path in pursuit of a dream and a vision, you are inspiring me too.
Thank you.
So who inspires you? If I’m admiring you and just don’t know it, please share!
PS- I was very pleased to note that while the number of young women in the VA Tech Cadet Corps freshman class was what you’d expect – a relatively small percentage, they held their own in the midlevel leadership positions. These young women inspire me too. They are making their way in a man’s world with pride and strength. And they still smile and are delightfully feminine when they can be. My sincere thanks to them. I know my son and everyone else will learn many lessons from them in the years ahead.
Check out the resources in the InPower Coaching EQ at Work and Soft Skills Research Index.
by Guest Author | Aug 21, 2013 | Career Development, Coaching Advice, Work-Life Blend
Sheryl Sandberg contributed many valuable insights to professional women in her book, Lean In. The one that hit me most squarely was her analogy of a career as a jungle gym instead of a ladder. Truer words have never been written, and I think this is a major contribution to the discussion of work-life “balance.”
The current mythology of success defines our career journey as a climb up the ladder. The ladder represents many things – all artifacts of the hierarchically structured industrial age economy (which, by the way, is being radically restructured as I write). The higher we go on the mythical ladder, the more money, influence, power and respect we get. This is why when women (and men!) “opt off” the ladder to pursue a more “balanced” life, the mythology defines them as unsuccessful until they acquire those same top-o-the-ladder treats via other means.
But what happens when you take away the ladder analogy and replace it with something resembling a jungle gym? A more integrated, geometric structure that offers progression in many directions, just not all at once?
When the analogy shifts, so do the definitions of success. In a jungle gym analogy, many of the same kinds of success are attainable, but not in any particular order. Our personal journey to find them becomes an individual search for “what’s next” in multiple directions instead of what’s next on a defined path. Our path becomes our own and our definition of success does too. (more…)
