by Guest Author | Feb 3, 2025 | Coaching Advice, Entrepreneurship, InPower Women Blog, People Skills
Key Takeaways:
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fairy tale isn’t just fantasy—it’s your own value story: The author encourages women to view the negotiation process like crafting their own fairy tale, reclaiming narrative control by defining and asserting what they’re truly worth.
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Negotiation goes beyond salary—it encompasses titles, flexibility, resources, and recognition, weaving all elements into a professional story that reflects your full value.
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Owning your worth requires doing the inner work: uncovering beliefs and stories that diminish you and replacing them with confidence in what you bring.
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Transparency with yourself—knowing your baseline value and what you’re willing to walk away from—empowers you to negotiate from a place of inner authority.
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Viewing negotiation as co-creation versus conflict reframes it as a collaborative narrative where both parties win—honoring mutual interests and building lasting professional relationships.
My dirty little secret: I love a fairy tale princess story
My favorite princess was Aurora of Sleeping Beauty. When I was four, I would convince my uncle to play-act the story with me – from the initial curse to the 16 year-old pricking her finger, falling asleep, and being rescued by the prince. My uncle hated this game, and it wasn’t only because he thought the princess stories put “garbage” into my head – it was because I gave him the supporting roles. All. The. Time.
I got to be Aurora when she pricked her finger. I got to be the prince fighting through the thorns while my uncle got to be “Aurora,” fast asleep. Then we switched and I got to be Aurora when she woke up.
Of course I made myself the star! What do you want from a four year-old?
However, he was right about the princess stories and the “Cinderella Complex.” Those tales tell the same story – a woman finds someone to take care of her after a prince deems her worthy.
Today, we are more aware of this subconscious tendency for being saved, and most dating coaches advise us how to avoid it.
Does our desire to be saved go deeper into areas like employment and the pay gap?
Do we subconsciously want to take the easy way out, looking to legal and corporate solutions rather than finding, and fighting for, our own value and value systems?
There are a number of metrics about men and women not being paid equally – the main one being women earn 78% of what men do annually. This disparity lessens at weekly earnings, and greatly improves when all factors are made equal:
If you account for those differences […education, industry, experience, union..] and then compare a woman and a man doing the same job, the pay gap narrows to 91 percent.
–Hanna Rosin, “The Gender Wage Gap Lie,” Slate
Similarly, a “study by CONSAD Research Corp. took into account women being more likely to work part-time for lower pay, leave the labor force for children or elder care, and choose work that is “family friendly” with fuller benefit packages over higher pay. The study found that, when factoring in those variables, the gap narrows to between 93 cents and 95 cents on the dollar.” (Katie Sanders, “PolitiFact Sheet: The Gender Pay Gap”, Tampa Bay Times)
And this was consistent with Millennials: “7 percent difference in the earnings of male and female college graduates one year after graduation was still unexplained.”
Many believe if women negotiated wages better, this would eliminate the consistent 7-9% gap.
Some suggest that we abolish wage negotiations completely and offer flat wages as compensation (although this comes with significant risk) or legalize the Paycheck Fairness Act as a more fair approach.
However, if you look at the pay gap from another perspective:
Research indicates that women may value non-wage benefits more than men do, and as a result prefer to take a greater portion of their compensation in the form of health insurance and other fringe benefits.
–CONSAD Study for U.S. Department of Labor
This perspective suggests that women already have great negotiation skills. A hiring manager in a large company needs to have a solid understanding of the value a prospective employee offers before recommending any policy exceptions. A hiring manager for a smaller company may have nothing else to offer top talent except non-wage benefits.
The pay gap question may be less about wages and more about value – self-value and the personal value placed on a compensation package beyond wages.
The problem with value and worth is that it is subjective. What one company or person values, another may dismiss as unnecessary. There is no constant to measure equality – why many refer to wages. Wages are concrete.
(Note that some women are doing just fine negotiating wages – in fact, 38% of wives are earning more than their husbands.)
The negotiation process should be a dance
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- Prospects define their worth during the interview process – to themselves and the company (this is often where women lose –the pay gap report suggests women improve their negotiation tactics by: “Knowing what your skills are worth, making clear what you bring to the table, emphasizing common goals, and maintaining a positive attitude.”)
- The company defines qualities they value in employees and determine which traits will add value to their organization
- Prospects negotiate a compensation package that maps to their values – from wages to benefits to work/life balance
- The company determines which requests are amenable – or not
If a woman would prefer to work at a smaller company with the flexibility to work from home and accept a 10K/year less than a man in the same job at a larger company – should that be perceived as accepting less? Isn’t that her choice?
Similarly, if a woman accepts a position at a company, where in addition to her assigned duties, she is mentoring a team, doesn’t she deserve the opportunity to negotiate additional compensation, like shares or additional vacation days?
If we move to a model where there are equal wages for equal work and less negotiation ability, aren’t we indirectly killing the concept of total compensation based on value and worth (on both sides)?
Then one must wonder, is the government and employers taking on a role of caretaker, determining worth and value of employees based on a single number rather than encouraging both sides to collaborate and create an agreeable compensation package?
To accept responsibility for our own futures, we women need to determine our own worth, think larger than simply wages, and determine the best compensation possible for each of us. We cannot be a “princess” and look to a “prince” to save us.
In some ways, my 4 year-old self had it right – you need to be the star of your own story.
It is only when we become our own “prince” and define our own worth and value when our personal fairy tales happen – when opportunities appear where we can grow and make our dreams come true.
Want to learn more about and dive deeper? Check out our free resources for women.
InPower Women’s Mastermind
We don’t Mastermind your business. We Mastermind YOU!
by Guest Author | Feb 1, 2025 | Coaching Advice, InPower Women Blog, Personal Mastery
Key Takeaways:
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sorry can become a self-sabotage habit: The author shows how women often apologize reflexively—even when no harm was done—and how this “sorry‑itis” gradually teaches others to see us as less capable or confident.
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Owning your space means choosing stronger alternatives: Instead of “sorry, do you have a minute?”, try “Excuse me, Bill, do you have a few minutes?”—replacing automatic apologies with clear and respectful language.
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Your time and presence deserve clarity, not excuses: In meetings or public settings, assert your needs confidently—“Before we move on, I’d like clarification”—rather than diluting your statement with “sorry.”
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Unwarranted apologies shift accountability away from the real source: When bumped or misunderstood, letting go of reflex apologies allows others to own their missteps—e.g., simply ask, “Would you say that again?”
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Reflect and recalibrate: Tracking every “sorry” for a week reveals patterns—when it’s warranted and when isn’t—and helps you reframe your communication to be both gracious and self-respecting.
Early one morning, Peg popped her head into her boss’ office and said, “Sorry, Bill. Do you have a minute?” In a late-morning project meeting, she said, “I’m sorry, but can I ask a question?” Riding the elevator to go out for lunch, Peg was jostled by another rider. “Sorry,” she said reflexively. And on the last call of the day, something the other person said was garbled. To prompt the speaker to repeat himself, she said… you guessed it… “Sorry?”
Women rightly chafe against being treated as “less than” in the workplace. But we actually participate in that treatment through our own “sorry-itis” – a condition affecting mostly women, in which we apologize to others for absolutely nothing.
Like you, I respect leaders who admit to their mistakes and who own up to the consequences. But sorry-itis is a whole different thing. In all four examples above, Peg committed no transgression. Essentially, she manufactured needless blame and stuck it to own forehead. So the only harm done was to Peg herself. Though each of her “sorries” was a casual utterance and no big deal, together, they formed a speech pattern that communicated that Peg is a walking mistake. Every unwarranted “sorry” taught others to devalue her.
When Peg became aware of the extent and impact of her sorry-itis, she wanted to heal it. But she was afraid that she might start sounding like a jerk. So what were her alternatives in the four situations?
- Popping her head into Bill’s office, she could merely say, “Excuse me, Bill. We don’t have an appointment right now, but do you have a few minutes to go over X?” And if Bill says, no, she can counter with “No problem. What would be a better time?”
- She had every right to ask a question in a meeting. A more self-respectful way to do it might have been “Before we move on, I’d like to get more clarification on Y.”
- In the elevator… Just zip it, Peg. The jostler owes the apology here, not the jostle-ee.
- If she didn’t understand or hear something, she could have simply said “Would you say that again?”
What about you?
For the next week, keep a running log of the situations where you said “I’m sorry.”
At the end of the week, review the log. What percentage of the time were your “sorries” the warranted acknowledgment of harm or injury? What percentage of your “sorries” were due to sorry-itis?
When your sorries were unwarranted, what message do you think they sent to others:
– about how you regard yourself?
– about how others should regard you?
If you had one of those situations to do over again, how could you communicate in a way that was both graceful and self-respectful?
InPower Women’s Mastermind
We don’t Mastermind your business. We Mastermind YOU!
by Guest Author | Jan 30, 2025 | Communicating With Confidence, InPower Women Blog
Key Takeaways:
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Book review reflections reveal how Spiraling Upward opens deep inner pathways: The author describes how Wendy Wallbridge’s work helped restart her business by nurturing belief, energy, and authentic direction—showing that success begins with self-co‑creation.
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The Spiral Up method—Energy, Thoughts, Feelings, Speech, Action—acts like a guidebook through the soul, each layer inviting deeper alignment and tangible results in business and life.
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By facing kNOTs and limiting beliefs, the author was able to transform self-sabotaging patterns into empowering shifts—she realized how fears had kept her from hiring and owning her potential.
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The “Rewriting Herstory” exercise helped her honor accomplishments she’d overlooked—recognizing long‑standing contributions to strategy, collaboration, and customer experience.
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Most deeply, the review underscores that we choose our reality: shifting from blame to self-inquiry enables love‑based creation and welcomes opportunities toward one’s purpose with confidence and clarity
“Your job as a co-creator is to nurture this seed in you and continue to open to the truth of who you are, which is wanted and needed in the world.” —Wendy Wallbridge, Spiraling Upward
There were 2 reasons why I was thrilled to read, Spiraling Upward, the 5 Co-creative Powers for Women on the Rise.
- I’m am building my business business back.
I was a solopreneur for 8 years. I took a break from my business to work in a corporation and be responsible for projects and lead generation targets on a large scale. After a few years, I returned to my passion, working for myself. I’m aware that I need to make some changes if I want my business to expand and achieve these goals:
- Include employees and a team
- Work on more strategic projects
- Shift my focus to customer experience, blending content, conversation and communication with user experience
- I believe that your beliefs shape your experience.
What you believe subconsciously shows through your actions, words, and thoughts. Spiraling Upwards includes instruction, exercises and stories to help you shift your beliefs about yourself and the world around you. I know I wanted to see which beliefs about my business and myself could be changed to achieve my goals this time.
Wendy Wallbridge opens her book with an inspiring story about her life, which sparked her own transformations and later her coaching practice and this book. When she was very young, she was very successful when suddenly she contracted Lupus. More health conditions from Lupus emerged over the years until finally she needed a kidney transplant. Years before the transplant, she realized her disease was an analogy of her life. Lupus is an autoimmune disorder – she was literally attacking herself. Symbolically, her soul didn’t know who she became – she wasn’t who she was supposed to be.
After this realization, she worked on finding her authentic self, searching her soul to be who she was called to be and create a life that made her truly happy. She stopped living through other people’s stories (in this case, her father’s perspective) and live her own.
Most of us won’t experience a catalyst like Lupus to kick-start such transformations. However, with the process and exercises she proposes, we all are able to know who we are and what our soul wants, which will make achieving success and our goals that much easier.
Wendy structured Spiraling Upwards into three sections, or turnings of the spiral:
- Initiation – activate the co-creation process and live a more authentic life. You get in touch with you.
- Aspiration – move beyond trying to fit some old improved picture of you. Release old images of what you should be and create space for an image of who you are today and allow who you are becoming to emerge.
- Inspiration – instead of actively pursuing your purpose, allow your purpose to pursue you. Create an intention and let your dreams and aspiration unfold for you.
The basis for everything in the book is love. Love is the core of who you are, and without love, you can’t create or live your new story.
Each spiral includes a section on:
- Energy
- Thoughts
- Feelings
- Speech
- Action
Through these sections, the book builds you, starting with energy shifts, which fuels thoughts, which lead to feelings, which guide speech, and become action.
These sections include short personal stories and exercises to help you reach into your soul and allow the real you to shine through.
Some sample exercise topics:
- Facing your fears and what’s really upsetting
- kNOTs and limiting beliefs (she shows you how they assist with self-sabotage, but she has a way to turn them around to empower you again)
- Making requests and saying no – or finding your voice
- Working with intention
- Trusting love, embracing the good
- Self-advocacy and speaking truth to power
- Rewriting herstory and reclaiming your destiny
In “Becoming a Wide Receiver,” I learned how to listen to my body and the messages it communicates to me. I rarely taking rest when I need it – I’ll keep pushing and not be effective because I physically need a break. I learned how to “hear” the need for rest, and not discount the emotions with it.
In “Untying your kNOTs,” I learned how to look forward to what I want rather than backwards to what I don’t want. For my business, this is key to achieve my goals. I reflected as to why I didn’t hire staff and how that served me. I realized I didn’t want the additional responsibility of people reporting into me. Now that I do, I believe that I can now expand my business.
For the “Rewriting Herstory” exercise, I realized that I have achieved far more than I thought in my career. I acknowledged that I was a strategic contributor for my clients, and I was great at collaboration, contributing new ideas, and building solid work partnerships. I also realized that I have been working on customer experience projects all along – I just needed to see it.
After experiencing this book, I feel more confident that my business will grow in the new direction I’d like to see. My goals aren’t out of reach – it’s all possible. It depends on my perspective.
However, the deeper learning I got from Spiraling Upwards is that we create our reality. Sometimes it is easier to blame outside influences for challenges, like accusing others of standing in our way. That perspective may serve us, but at the same time it can be a self-sabotaging belief. This book guides you inwards, to discover your own personal power and how you can empower yourself to follow your dreams, allow opportunities to arise, and let life lead you towards your dreams and goals.
FREE PDF
Guide to Women in Leadership
Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel in higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
by Guest Author | Jan 28, 2025 | Gender Equality, InPower Women Blog
Key Takeaways:
- Gender equality cannot be achieved without challenging masculinity: Expanding definitions of masculinity—moving beyond rigid traits like dominance or stoicism—is essential for progress.
- Narrow, culturally enforced ideals of masculinity limit both men and women by restricting emotional expression and reinforcing harmful dynamics.
- Masculinity norms pressure men and boys to continually prove themselves, often at the expense of empathy, caring, or vulnerability.
- Advancing women’s leadership can help men see alternative ways of being, bridging gender divides via diverse role models and inclusive definitions of strength.
- Real change requires both transforming men’s behavior and redefining cultural narratives—encouraging men to shift from “power over” toward “power to” through compassion and shared emotional intelligence.
By: Kaitlin Rattigan
Just as women and girls are expected to follow ridiculous, degrading and constricting ideas of what it means to be feminine men and boys face, albeit different, but just as restricting expectations for what it means to be masculine.
So, let’s talk about it
Miss Representation is at it again. Jennifer Seibel Newsom, the director of Miss Representation, is directing a new film called The Mask You Live In that asks the question: As a society, how are we failing our boys?
We have created a culture where boys and men constantly have to prove their masculinity.
“They often feel compelled to abide by a rigid code of conduct that affects their relationships, narrows their definition of success and, in some cases, leads to acts of violence… Our society’s failure to recognize and care for the social and emotional well-being of our boys contributes to a nation of young men who navigate adversity and conflict with an incomplete emotional skill set,” according to the Kickstarter page.
So how are these dangerous narrow definitions of what it means to be masculine connected to this movement to advance women’s leadership? Well, for one thing, I think it has been well understood that the women’s movement and modern day feminism has progressed in a way that focuses on how we should be challenging both femininity and masculinity and how these socially constructed characteristics don’t really help anybody.
I also think that if there were more diversity within our leadership, i.e. an equal number of women to men, then men would have more examples of different leadership styles and strengths to inspire their own actions, behaviors, and approaches.
So what’s it going to take? For one thing, we need more women taking the lead and inviting men to embrace their emotions and convert their “Power Over” mentality to one of “Power To”. As Jackson Katz says in the promo trailer for the film, “we need to redefine strength in men not as the power over other people, but as forces for justice… We’re teaching men how to be men in ways that integrate caring and compassion into strength.”
While women need to be more willing to embrace our power, men need to reframe what power actually means to them too.
Power is not proving your physical strength over others in order to get respect.
Power is not how many people you’ve slept with.
Power is not just about you looking out for your needs and interests.
Women need to be spreading these messages to the men and boys. And one way women can do this is if they are leading their company, community, and country.
There is not one way to be feminine just as there is not one way to be masculine. Our world is so much more diverse and intersectional than that. So let’s end the pretending shall we? All of this gender constrictiveness is exhausting.
I invite everyone to take off your mask (myself included). Because seriously? We’re not fooling anyone.
Kaitlin Rattigan is a recent graduate with an M.A. in International Peace and Conflict Resolution with a concentration in Gender and Peacebuilding. She is a firm believer in social media as an effective and meaningful tool to promote positive societal change. Never underestimate the power of 140 characters. Kaitlin is a voice for the Millennials, a constructive disruptionist, an advocate for women’s leadership, and is a believer in challenging and expanding the definitions of what it means to be a feminist. For gender-analytical fem-tastic commentary on current events, follow Kaitlin @KaitlinRattigan. Do you have an issue you want highlighted on The Movement Blog? Is there an area within women’s leadership that you feel passionate about and want to share with a wide audience? Feel free to send Kaitlin a DM or Tweet to @KaitlinRattiganwith the hashtag #Women2025 and let’s keep the conversation going and work together to propel women into their equal share of leadership positions by 2025.
Take The Lead prepares, develops, inspires and propels women to take their fair and equal share of leadership positions across all sectors by 2025. It is today’s women’s movement – a unique catalyst for women to embrace power and reach leadership parity.
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FREE Executive Coaching consultation with Dana Theus
by Dana Theus | Jan 26, 2025 | Coaching Advice, Leadership
Key Takeaways:
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Productivity skyrockets when mindfulness becomes a habit: Embedding simple moments of awareness throughout the day—such as focused breathing or pausing before checking email—sharpens concentration, helping you stay present and deeply engaged in tasks.
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Mindfulness dramatically reduces work-related stress: Even brief meditation breaks or deep-breathing exercises activate emotional regulation circuits, lowering anxiety and preventing burnout.
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Cultivating flow by tracking energy and task alignment: Recognizing natural high- and low-energy periods—then working mindfully within those cycles—enhances output quality without overwhelming mental bandwidth.
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Organization across personal, digital, and physical spaces fosters mindful efficiency: A clutter-free environment supports clearer thinking and smoother workflow transitions.
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Mindfulness roots out unhelpful habits and boosts self-awareness: Practicing present-moment awareness helps recognize negative patterns—like doom‑scrolling or procrastination—and swap them with healthier, more productive routines
What is mindfulness and why do you care? Most importantly, can you do it in the middle of a busy life? Çan you practice mindfulness at work?
Mindfulness is an ancient tradition that’s all the rage now. Time magazine’s cover promoted it last year and Harvard Business Review regularly promotes it to their busy executive readership. Why?
Essentially, mindfulness is like taking your brain and brain-body-stress connection to the gym to strengthen the neuro-connections that can calm down your stress. The more we learn about stress and the brain, the more we learn that we can interrupt the stress response hormones that most of us have habitually turned to “high.” It’s become a habit to believe that stress is necessary to our success, but this isn’t the case. In fact, we’re learning that stress actually dampens our ability to be creative and resourceful – to meet a deadline or develop a brilliant solution to an intractable problem.
How does mindfulness calm down your stress?
When you have a stressful event in your life, your brain-body stress-response system clicks on. This often happens during (or before) your morning commute.
For the vast majority of us, the stress spigot doesn’t get turned off with intentional mindfulness, and every little thing just piles onto it. Even when we’re calm, this stress ball of habitual tension and anxiety lurks just below the surface so it just takes a small thing (like that giant list of emails!) to light it all up again.
Mindfulness at work not only calms you down in the moment, but – very importantly – when regularly practiced, it builds up an alternative neural network of mind-body connection that begins to invoke itself under stress circumstances. When you’re practiced at mindfulness, you develop the ability to notice a stress response beginning and interrupt the cycle. This gives you greater control over whether and how you respond.
How do I do it?
Does a mindfulness practice always have to include meditation? Nope. You can practice mindfulness on your morning commute or cleaning the house. There is no end of ways to practice and none of them are difficult, but they do take focus and commitment. A few minutes a day – every day – will produce results in reduced stress and greater focus and productivity.
The trick? You have to actually. Be. Mindful.
InPower Women’s Mastermind
We don’t Mastermind your business. We Mastermind YOU!
by Guest Author | Jan 24, 2025 | Career Development
Key Takeaways:
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Sponsored connections are earned, not just given: High-potential individuals must be proactive—actively pursue and nurture relationships, choose environments that value sponsorship, and demonstrate initiative to be seen and supported.
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Sponsored opportunities stem from visible results: Delivering measurable performance—leveraging your strengths to make meaningful impact—is a prerequisite for someone powerful to sponsor your ascent.
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Sponsored candidates stand out with presence and communication: Personal brand clarity, strategic visibility, and polished communication are vital. Sponsors select those who show up effectively and persuasively.
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Sponsored moves often involve calculated risks: Volunteer for stretch roles—like international assignments or turnaround projects—to showcase ambition, resilience, and acceleration potential.
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Sponsored alignment goes beyond similarity: Building rapport matters; sponsors often back those who reflect aspects of themselves—shared values, work style, mindset—not necessarily demographics.
In 2011, Women CEO’s in the Fortune 500 made up 14% of the CEO’s according to Catalyst, flat vs. the prior year. Lack of sponsorship appears to be a key factor driving insufficient advancement of women based on a Catalyst study. Men and women have equal number of mentors. However women miss out on sponsors (people who have the power to promote and often use that power and influence to advance careers and opportunities for others). So, the obvious question is: “How do I Get a Sponsor?”
As someone who spent the last 20 years in Corporate America, including the last few in the C-Suite (I was Chief Marketing Officer of a $2Billion company and, as Region President, ran over a $500MM P&L), I have had my share of being sponsored and of sponsoring others. There were many times in my career that my sponsors took risks on me and promoted me, even before I thought I was ready for the job.
Seven tips for getting sponsored
1) Take Charge – I believe that while there is much that corporations can do and are doing to improve sponsorship of women, the accountability for being sponsored lies 100% in the camp of the woman leader. As a sponsor in my organizations, I was much more likely to support men and women who took the initiative to seek me out.
2) Pick the Right Environment – Be smart about seeking workplaces and teams where leaders recognize the importance of promoting smart people, regardless of their gender. Look through the companies that have multiple women on their Boards and on Executive teams. Utilize research from Catalyst and other organizations and tap into your network to discover which companies are making the difference.
3) Make Results Happen – In my career, most of my sponsors found me. To be sponsored, you have to have results. This is a necessary but not a sufficient. The best way to get results is to understand your strengths and use them shamelessly to demonstrate your value. What are you known for doing really well? Sponsors are often current or former bosses who have benefited from the impact you make, so make your impact.
4) Get Noticed – Sponsors often have lots of people in their organization with results, but the number of people they will take risks for and sponsor are limited. Why would they choose you? How do you stand out? Make sure your articulate your personal leadership brand and then market it effectively and authentically (see resources below).
In many organizations your exposure to senior management is fleeting. Make that count! Often, your presentation and communication skills are a somewhat inflated proxy for your talents and abilities. Communicating powerfully (both listening and expressing yourself) are skills that can be learned, so invest in learning them.
5) Take Calculated Risks – A great way to get noticed is your willingness to take risks. Take the high profile assignment even if it is a turnaround situation. Take international assignments. At one point in my career I chose to take an assignment running a $100MM business in Mexico over an assignment running a $1Billion business in the US. That is because I felt the latter, a turnaround situation, although a higher risk, also offered a greater potential to make an impact and be noticed. I also knew that my international background and language skills would be a competitive advantage in the role. International stints give us more exposure and generally are great learning experiences. We can ask ourselves “What are the high profile roles that I feel I can bring my strengths to”?
6) Build Rapport – Research says that people tend to sponsor others who remind them of themselves. Since a lot of people in senior positions are white males, that’s the demographic that gets sponsored more often. However, gender and ethnicity aren’t the only traits that sponsors can identify with. Most of my sponsors were white male and I am an Asian female. I’ve sponsored both men and women. There are other traits that people can see in you that can remind them of themselves. Perhaps it’s your tenacity. Perhaps it’s The bottom line is that they like you because they see themselves in you.
In order for them to like you, they need to get to know you. Many women take themselves out of the running because they choose to not show up and engage with potential sponsors. Don’t be intimidated. “Be curious to get to know them as people and find common ground” is excellent advice given by Penny McIntyre, former Group President at Newell Rubbermaid.
7) Find Meaning & Have Fun – McKinsey research quoted in the book “How Remarkable Women Lead” shows that for women in particular, doing work they believe is meaningful, is a huge driver of engagement and job satisfaction. Many women opt out physically (by leaving) or emotionally (by disengaging from the track to the top) if they don’t connect what they do with what is meaningful for them. So find this connection and re-engage passionately. If you’re relaxed and enjoying the work that you do, the passion and energy you project are palpable. It makes you 100% more confident.
Take charge of your career development and practice 7 strategies to attract an executive sponsor.
You made it! Now what? Multiply your impact and not your stress.
FREE Executive Coach consultation with Dana Theus
by Guest Author | Jan 20, 2025 | Career Development, Coaching Advice, Leadership
Key Takeaways:
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leaders must treat self-care not as a “nice-to-have” but as mission-critical—prioritizing personal well-being enables clarity, presence, and sustained impact.
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Setting clear boundaries around time, energy, and availability—like scheduled breaks and offline work hours—recharges resilience and models healthy behavior for teams.
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Embrace holistic self-care: combine physical activity, adequate rest, balanced nutrition, and mindful practices like meditation or journaling to sustain both mental and emotional strength.
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Take regular pauses for reflection—daily or weekly—to review your emotional state, celebrate small wins, and recalibrate priorities so you don’t drift into burnout.
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Seek connection and support—whether through mentorship, peer groups, coaching supervision, or therapy—to deepen self-awareness and avoid isolation at the top.
You know you should take care of yourself, but you don’t. But you should! Here’s the catch, when you don’t take care of yourself you’re less able to care for others. It seems nonsensical, but it’s true. Also, how can others learn to care for themselves if you don’t let them practice? Do it! Take care of yourself – starting now! – InPower Editors
By: Mary Schaefer
How taking care of yourself impacts your effectiveness and theirs.
“My wish is that one day we all embrace the belief that there is an inestimable power and potential in human beings treating each other humanly.” – Click To Tweet
Human beings, being human. At work.
For me, what’s missing at work is being human, which means acknowledging human needs, such as the need to contribute, to be appreciated, to make a difference, and to belong. You could say these comprise a big part of what makes us human.
I have talked about this from the perspective of how leaders must adapt to ensure they create an environment that allows organization members to get these needs met. And yet lately I’m feeling like it is even more important that leaders focus on ensuring these needs are met in themselves, first.
You can’t take care of them until you take care of yourself first.
It’s like the analogy about putting on your own oxygen mask before putting one on your child in an airplane. Really, how can we possibly really lead others, set a good example, inspire and create an environment where human needs are supported and facilitated, until we’ve addressed these needs for ourselves first?
Stop digging yourself a hole because you’ve lost touch with how your own choices impact your productivity and well-being, for that matter. What about your need to contribute, to be appreciated, to make a difference, and to belong (among others)? Take a look at what you actually need and give yourself permission to get it. This is a starting point for empowerment.
It only makes sense that you have to know what it feels like first, to get your needs met, in order to facilitate and support your employees’ human needs. This is important because (I’ll let you in on a little secret) your employees are only as effective and empowered as you allow yourself to be.
So, today, what are you going to do to support your needs, as a leader and a human being?
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Guide to Women in Leadership
Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel in higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
by Guest Author | Jan 18, 2025 | Career Development, Coaching Advice, InPower Women Blog, Work-Life Blend
Key Takeaways:
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work‑life balance is a strategic choice—not a luxury. Keeping even a small job while caregiving (for children or aging parents) ensures financial stability and continuity.
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Opting out of work for caregiving without planning can cost you dearly—those who step away for years often earn significantly less and miss out on career momentum.
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Extended career breaks often result in re-entry at a lower level, meaning you’ll need to pay your dues all over again to climb back up.
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The “sweet spot” for re-engagement is when your children and parents are more independent—timing your return around this can protect both your emotional well-being and financial future.
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Continuous connection to the workforce—no matter how part-time or flexible—guards against the unknown and lets you “find the work that fits your life” across all life phases.
What’s the cost of opting out of the workforce, for a little while or a long while? Many women don’t do the calculation of what they lose by staying at home to take care of kids – and parents! Go in eyes open, as Kathryn advises. – InPower Editors
So often women tell me that they’ll return to work when they feel they’ve put the requisite time into what I call their first caregiving job—raising children. But that might just be when their second caregiving job begins—helping aging parents.
This fact was crystal clear when I read the New York Times article, “Women Leave Their Careers in Peak Years”. Though the article focuses on working women, there is an important work and life planning message for currently non-working women as well.
The article discusses the fact that many working women in their late 40s and early 50s leave the workforce (just as they are reaching their peak earning years) to help an ailing parent. With increased longevity, there are greater demands on both working and non-working middle-aged women to care for aging parents. Often this care extends to in-laws—which could involve a total of four parents who have conflicting needs and a range of financial and elder care resources.
When working women leave their jobs to care for aging parents, the article points out that they sacrifice their own financial security. Women who wait too long to return to work and are then forced to put aside their plans due to aging parent needs also jeopardize their financial security. Many of these on hiatus women left the workforce in their 30s to care for children–after relatively few years of professional work. If they plan to return in their 40s or 50s (when children are older and parents are in or near the “elderly” stage), they could miss their opportunity to build up their own retirement savings.
The article cites the AARP Public Policy Institute estimate that working women 50 and over who leave the workforce permanently to care for a parent lose nearly $325,000 in wages and benefits. Most people would consider $325,000 a large sum of money—and some higher paid women would be losing even more. The loss is even greater when you account for the portion that could be invested, saved and multiplied over 20 years or more.
Is work‑life balance a strategic choice?
Women who stay out of the workforce to care for children, of course, also lose many possible earning years. The 2010 Center for Talent Innovation’s Off-Ramps and On-Ramps Revisited Report (the most recent report of its kind) noted that the average hiatus from the workforce is 2.7 years. (Anecdotally, in my work with returning professional women since 2002, I have seen a higher average of 12 years.) The cost of that 2.7 year hiatus is an average loss of 16% in earning power.
The women who I have worked with see a greater drop in earnings power with their average hiatus of 12 years. Often this results in a return to administrative positions (sometimes by choice and sometimes dictated by the resume gap) or “starting over” in a field they left behind. At one time when I was helping women return to investment banking jobs, there were quite a few who were not psychologically or financially prepared to start again at the lowest rung “Associate” level. A similar scenario is common when women return to any industry after a more than two-year hiatus. If women put their egos aside and pay their dues again, they have the opportunity to ramp back up to the job titles and salaries they left behind. But there’s no arguing that a long hiatus puts them at a significant initial earnings disadvantage—one that could last for several ramp up years.
Work-life balance?
There is a good argument for not staying out of the workforce too long—or never fully exiting. In my opinion, the best wisdom is to “Find the Work that Fits Your Life”–as I say over and over in my 9 Lives for Women blog posts—from college through retirement years. Keep even the smallest paycheck coming in at all times to insure not only against life’s “you never knows”, but also to offset the two major caregiving jobs most women shoulder.
Two phases of caregiving—for children and then aging parents—is a cycle of life reality that few women can escape. I thought of this as my 85-year-old father spoke of his various ailments and said, “There’s got to be a better alternative to getting old”. Of course there isn’t one, and whether your parents and in-laws live around the corner or across the country, you will not be untouched by their aging process. Most women will be involved in some level of elder parent caregiving, decision-making or emotional support that drains the time and energy you have for work.
You can’t change the fact that you exited the workforce, but you can control the point in time you return. Don’t wait too long, and as you plan your re-entry think of that sweet spot—the time when both your children and your parents can be more independent and you can focus on your own long-term financial security. –KAS
Take charge of your career development to get the job that supports your work and your life. Check out the tools and resources in the InPower Coaching Career Center.
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This uplifting 8-step process will help you find meaning, motivation and momentum in your career and work
by Guest Author | Jan 16, 2025 | Career Development
Key Takeaways:
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happiness begins in your mind—many of the beliefs you hold actually undercut your joy before life even strikes; shifting these mindsets is where real change starts.
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Fixed mindsets lead you to avoid challenges and see failure as proof of limitations, whereas embracing a growth mindset opens the path to learning and inner resilience.
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Impostor syndrome and low self‑efficacy silently erode confidence—believing you’re “faking it” or doubting your capacity to act can keep you stuck in place.
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Thinking traps like catastrophizing, all‑or‑nothing thinking, and personalization distort reality and amplify stress, making challenges feel bigger than they are.
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Viewing stress as harmful intensifies its impact; by shifting to a “stress helps” mindset, you can transform pressure into opportunity and strengthen emotional endurance.
Positive thinking can save us from hell, but often it’s not enough to just “be happy” out of sadness. Today Paula takes us deeper into the limiting beliefs to help us crawl out. – InPower Editors
For the past four years, I have been studying, writing, and talking about what makes people resilient and better able to handle stress. Much of my work involves helping people identify the mindsets and faulty assumptions that undercut their happiness, resilience, and ability to manage stress. I’m passionate about this topic because I spent over a year in hell burning out toward the end of my law practice.
I’m frequently asked how I recovered from such a tough period in my life, and I did it not by helping others, saying thank you, or increasing my positive emotions, sound research-based self-help tidbits that work only if you understand the root cause of your own unhappiness and unworthiness. The only thing that really helped me get out of the abyss and truly thrive and change was weeding through all of the mindsets that have been quietly (and sometimes loudly) undercutting my ability to be my happiest self.
I had to figure out why I started getting panic attacks at the age of fourteen. I had to figure out why I thought it was more important to impress people and go into a career in law rather than follow my heart and become a writer. I had to trace the genesis of my perfectionistic, people pleasing, achieve-aholic tendencies. I had to discover why I wasn’t getting the most out of my relationships.
People avoid these conversations and going there, as I like to call it, like the plague. Understanding your mindsets is tough and getting to the root cause isn’t a quick fix. Some of the most pivotal moments in my work have come when folks have had the willingness to stand up and say things like, “Damn, I guess I was part of the reason why my marriages failed;” or “My kids don’t want to talk to me because I’m a big, fat jerk.” Those are humbling moments that lead to profound self-awareness, true change and can lay the groundwork for lasting happiness.
There are thousands of how-to books, yet our divorce rate is sky-high, we’re still searching for happiness, and we’re the heaviest people on the planet. Self-help works only if you’re willing to dig deep and figure out the root cause of what’s going on for you, and that takes work.
10 deeply held beliefs which act as barriers to true happiness and lasting change
1. What will people think of me?
2. I have to be the good ________ (fill in the blank – teacher; wife; daughter; son; etc.)
3. I have to achieve more.
4. I have to be perfect.
5. I’m not good enough. (or, substitute – pretty; thin; worthy; smart; rich etc.)
6. I can handle it all on my own.
7. I’ll pretend everything is OK.
8. I should put everyone else first – I’ll worry about “me” later.
9. I have to be a people pleaser or “they” won’t like me.
10. I can’t be perceived as weak.
These deeply held beliefs and faulty assumptions prevent us from putting ourselves out there and taking risks, strategies that happy people rely on to succeed. They also prevent us from having those tough conversations, whether with ourselves or with important people in our lives.
Self-help strategies will help, but only if you first understand the belief system driving the stress, unhappiness, and unfulfillment. The next time you are stressed, write down the beliefs you have about the event and the emotions that are produced. As you become more aware of your crooked thinking patterns, you can break the cycle and begin to develop a better understanding of those mindsets that stand between you and lasting happiness and change. What else would you add to the list?
Originally on: Psychology Today
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by Guest Author | Jan 14, 2025 | Across Generations
Key Takeaways:
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Midlife crisis isn’t a breakdown—it’s a wake-up call to align your inner voice with your outer life as you evolve through decades.
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Your 30s may stir restlessness as success benchmarks lose meaning, prompting deeper questions about fulfillment.
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The 40s often mark a pivot toward purpose—what once drove you may no longer satisfy your deeper self.
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By your 50s, the need for legacy and contribution surfaces, challenging you to redefine success beyond roles and titles.
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Each decade offers an opportunity for conscious growth—pause, listen inward, and choose a direction that honors your true self.
Apparently, having a mid-life crisis is all the rage, no matter what age you’re at. Marcia does a good job examining what a “crisis” is all about and giving us advice appropriate to our decade. – InPower Editors
This past year, I have had numerous reporters ask me to explain why women around the age of 29 are going through what appears to be a mid-life crisis, or in this case, a quarter-life crisis. I was included in a televised discussion this week with a number of women facing or recently passing through this phase of life, giving me the chance to hear how they define their torment. I found both similarities and differences between quarter- and mid-life examinations. I believe the quarter-life crisis is coming to the forefront as leaders like Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer are pushing women to assess their values early in their careers.
Most women seriously reflect on the choices they have made and the career-life paths they are on when transitioning into a new decade of life (men do too but this post focuses on women). However, the angst they feel when experiencing each life passage is triggered by a different desire. I’ll explain these in a moment.
First, let’s look at the word “crisis.” Questioning where you are going and even who you are generally isn’t catastrophic even though it feels uncomfortable. You may feel lost because your priorities are shifting, which changes the answer to the question, “Will my future give me happiness and fulfillment?” This questioning peaks as you enter each new decade of life.
The questioning is difficult because goals are hard to define. In my research, I found most strong, smart women aren’t driven to achieve titles, great fortunes and clear career paths to the top.¹ They may achieve these things along the way but their desires are based on having motion and meaning in their lives. They want frequent new challenges and they want to know that the work they do is significant, meaningful and emboldens their highest potential.
The problem is that no one has defined what “highest potential” looks like so the quest has no specific destination. This all adds up to a restless craving to realize your potential which peaks as you approach each decade of your life. Yet the questions shift as the stages progress. Here are three life shifts:
Age 30 – The questions focus on career choices
The yearning is to ensure long-term happiness. “Will the choices I make around my career and family make me happy in the long run?” You may have already made a career move or landed in an “accidental career.” You might struggle when differentiating societal, peer and family “shoulds” from your personal desires but deride yourself for not figuring it out already. This could lead to a big career or life change including starting your own business.
Age 40 – The questions focus on life purpose
The yearning is to ensure the significance and value of your efforts. You might be coping with the ongoing inequality in the workplace, continually feeling misunderstood and mismanaged, and a “niggling” voice that says you have a bigger dream and purpose to achieve. You could re-create yourself at work or drop off the corporate ladder unless the organization is big enough to give you a lateral move to explore what else is possible. If you decide to move on, you might have some hits and misses before you successfully land on a new path.
Age 50+ – The questions focus on legacy
The yearning is to ensure age-defying relevance. You face age discrimination more than men so you seek to discover how you will be seen as valuable as well as what you will do to share the wisdom you gained over the years. You might seek richer ways to apply your talent and skills. Or you might look for ways to give back to the communities that supported your growth up to now. For some, this pursuit feels less driven than in previous years. For others, the yearning is just as strong but feels more universal than personal.
You might define your quarter- and mid-life assessments differently as we are all unique. Some women pass through the stages with ease. What I share are just tendencies. I welcome your comments and experiences.
Regardless of what questions you are grappling with right now, here are some questions that could help you embrace your restlessness as an opportunity for self-exploration and growth instead of letting it feel disruptive, confusing and scary.
- What have I accomplished that I am proud of? Does this work still fulfill me or is the joy disappearing? Is there something I need to leave behind in order to move forward?
- Is there something more important and fulfilling that I can focus on now? What conversations am I having that bring me alive? What do I dare doing?
- What do I want more of in my life? What yearning is emerging? What have I imprisoned that is crying to be free?
- What have I been afraid to do? What step can I take now to find out what is on the other side?
Questioning your journey as you pass into new phases of your life is good practice even if it is uncomfortable. Your life is progressing, your needs are shifting, and the world around you is quickly changing. This may make you feel like a stranger to yourself. Find other women who are as restless as you and are willing to challenge the status quo of their existence. A good coach who specializes in life transitions can help as well. Hopefully, it won’t be long before you come to love the new person you see.
¹ The research that defined these phases can be found in Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2010.
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