It’s time for another installment of the Leadership Development Carnival! Thanks to Weaving Influence and the Lead Change for organizing some great posts from some remarkable leadership writers.
If you’re new to blog Carnivals, these represent a collection of posts from a variety of writers, organized by major themes and presented for your professional and inspirational pleasure.
With constant change being the norm in most organizations, exceptional communication has never been more critical to success. This blog unpacks the core traits of effective communicators, offering practical insights for leaders looking to drive employee engagement and inspire their audiences to action.
There was a time – in the not-too-distant past – when we agreed on facts yet differed on their implications. As the late Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan famously said, “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.” We have departed mightily from those days. How do we figure out which are facts, and which are opinions, and how can we work to focus on facts over opinions? This post offers tips and how-to’s: read on.
Lisa Kohn of Thoughtful Leaders™ Blog presents How to start anew, even when it’s old where she shares several ways to focus our thoughts and guide our behaviors that can help us approach our “old” routine as if it’s something new.
AI is everywhere. Have you recently googled something and used the AI generated answer without ever clicking a link from the list? It’s one of my new favorite efficiencies…and it freaks me out a little. In the “if something scares you, it probably means you should do it” kind of way.
Organizations need to be agile and adaptive. An inspiring purpose, goals, key behaviors, and empowered teams can serve as anchors in a sea of change. How can you develop a future-fit, agile culture and strategy?
As she celebrates the launch of the 3rd edition of Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go, Julie explores one of the core concepts of the book: the idea that small, curiosity-driven, conversation-based interactions are a powerful tool to drive career development.
Most leaders spend the majority of their time with their heads down focused on operational details and neglect their own personal development. In 3 Strategies for Working ON the Business, Not Just IN It, Randy explains how leaders can proactively prioritize their own learning and growth.
Let’s take a look at the word “work” and how it can be changed into something richer and more meaningful. I believe it’s a word that embodies redemption, contribution, achievement, community, and, in the end, legacy.
Taking risks can feel daunting, but with the right preparation, those leaps can lead to tremendous growth. By cultivating clarity, building momentum, and embracing discomfort, you can make deliberate choices that align with your values and aspirations. Explore these four principles to prepare yourself for taking risks with confidence.
One powerful lesson in BE 2.0 is that compensation plans alone do not guarantee performance. Collins highlights that some of the highest-paid CEOs aren’t necessarily leading the best companies. In fact, short-term financial incentives can sometimes lead to behavior that undermines long-term success, even if they boost short-term results.
As leaders, we often focus on external achievements and professional challenges. However, true leadership also involves looking inward and embracing the multifaceted nature of our inner selves. Being open to the various parts of ourselves allows us to lead with authenticity, empathy, and resilience.
Change is both an opportunity and a challenge, but when approached with intentional leadership, it can result in meaningful growth and transformation. By creating a clear vision, fostering trust, empowering your team, modeling the change, celebrating progress, and sustaining momentum, leaders can guide their organizations through change with confidence.
Learn practical strategies to manage your emotions effectively, enhancing your ability to lead with poise, even under pressure. In this blog, I introduce the critical role of self-regulation for leaders, a skill that distinguishes respected leaders from ineffective ones. How can improved self-regulation transform your leadership style?
Anchors exist symbolically in organizations. They are the critical part of grounding teams in why they exist, what they do, how they do it, and who they do it for. They’re a weighty stabilizing force to keep teams focused on a goal.
Delegation is a critical skill for leaders, yet many struggle to do it effectively. While it may seem like a time-consuming process, delegating tasks can free up valuable time and empower your team. In this post, explore 10 practical steps to help you delegate successfully and develop your team while driving productivity.
Psychological Safety is the Key to a Thriving Team Culture It is not just a buzzword… It’s a crucial factor in team success and a cornerstone of a healthy organizational culture.
And it is the feeling the individuals on your team have that they won’t be punished or humiliated for sharing their ideas, concerns, or mistakes.
“Ownership” is more than a corporate buzzword—it’s a layered concept that varies depending on your role, from executing a task to being accountable for an entire project’s success.
In today’s world of fluid careers, where professionals shift between roles like employee, consultant, entrepreneur, and influencer, ownership becomes dynamic—it’s not just what you do, but how you contribute to outcomes over time.
Being the “owner” of something at work doesn’t always mean doing the work—it means holding responsibility for the result, navigating complexity, and often leading without direct control.
Tools like RACI charts can help clarify who owns, who influences, and who executes, but they don’t replace the human need for clear communication, accountability, and mutual respect.
To truly “own” your work in a modern, ever-evolving career, you need to be clear about your role in each context—what you’re driving, what you’re contributing to, and what you’re ultimately accountable for.
Enjoy this video replay and breakdown of our discussion on ownership at work and what you need to know about it. – InPower Editors.
“Ownership” is a great buzzword, but what does it mean? We are often asked by management to take more ownership in what we do. Agile Methodologies refers to a “product owner” in team structures. But to these teams, a product owner is the person who is responsible for the ROI of the product and often manages a balance sheet. In marketing teams, an owner is often the person who executives call if something goes wrong with a site or published materials.
But how does ownership at work, really work at the office and on projects? And the larger question, how does ownership relate to the fluid career?
What’s a fluid career? Today, professionals are reinventing themselves every 3-5 years as an employee, a consultant, then an employee again or possibly an entrepreneur and back. They may be in related jobs or careers, expanding their skill set. They may go from being a manager to specialist. They may start a new business in another field that reflects their passion. With that said, professionals may also move from being an owner to an influencer and back. But what does that all mean?
What we will be discussing regarding ownership:
What does it mean to be an employee and “owner” of a task vs someone who influences its outcome or does the work?
Personal accountability vs owning a task vs being the person responsible for the success of the product/project
As a consultant and influencer, how far does your accountability go? How much do you own?
What is your job as the “owner”? What does that mean being an employee who is in charge of a project vs being in charge of a task vs influencing outcome?
How do RACI charts and similar role and responsibility matrices help here? Or not?
The traditional view of the glass ceiling as a boys’ club barrier still holds truth, but it’s not the whole story—gender bias exists, yet it’s no longer just about women being excluded.
Simply getting more women to the top won’t automatically change toxic leadership cultures, especially if those women have internalized the very norms that created the ceiling in the first place.
The modern glass ceiling may be less about discrimination and more about systemic values—filtering out anyone (women, minorities, Millennials) who doesn’t think, act, or prioritize like those already in power.
Increasingly, the ceiling isn’t something imposed from above—it’s a choice to opt out of environments that clash with your values, which explains the rise of women-owned businesses and entrepreneurial paths.
If we view the glass ceiling as a values filter, the real question becomes: do you want to assimilate to rise, or are you willing to step off the ladder and define success on your own terms?
What is the glass ceiling these days?
The traditional view is that the glass ceiling is the white male’s comfy, old boy culture at the top that is threatened by the entrance of women into their private enclaves. In these secret nooks and crannies of corporate culture, it’s thought, leadership culture is one of alpha-dogmanship, cutthroat competition and kingmaking where women simply don’t fit.
There is certainly truth to the idea that white men rule the top ranks of most powerful organizations in our world. Studies continue to find that cultural barriers shunt women off the corporate ladder midway to the top, men run the government and gender bias is real.
The prevailing belief I hear most often about how to address this phenomenon – reflecting the assumption that the glass ceiling is just a product of recalcitrant men – is that if women could just shatter past the glass ceiling in greater numbers, we would automagically fix the problem by fixing the culture. However, I’m not so sure it’s this simple. Recent research shows that in at least one traditional organization this did not happen, and there’s no end of anecdotal insight about how some senior women who’ve “made it” do not help their more junior female colleagues. (more…)
This guest post from Laurie Erdman reminds us that even though we are often encouraged to play small and create a work environment where I staffs can play small too, this helps nobody. It takes courage to play big. Where can you play bigger than you do today? ~Dana
Key Takeaways:
Fast-growing companies aren’t just good at business—they’re intentional about creating workplaces where people are energized, empowered, and encouraged to play big every day.
“Playing big” means leading—regardless of title—and showing up with courage, creativity, and commitment; it’s about speaking up, stretching yourself, and staying engaged in the mission.
The payoff is real: when employees play big, companies get innovation, resilience, and results; when individuals play big, they earn promotions, fulfillment, and a stronger sense of purpose.
You don’t need a fancy title to shift the energy—whether you’re a CEO or an individual contributor, you can foster a bigger game by honoring others, staying curious, and managing your own energy.
The world’s moving too fast for smallness—if you’re ready to step up, lead, and make an impact, now’s the time to play bigger in your career, your life, and your leadership.
Want help identifying ways you can start playing bigger in your current role?
Much is written about why fast growing companies perform so well in a down economy. There are many factors including attitude toward risk, communicating vision, resilience, and embracing innovation.
One overlooked factor is the company’s attitude toward employee wellbeing. More specifically, we rarely hear that fast growing companies (those defying the economic outlook) are committed to creating an energized work environment that fosters resilience, vision and innovation.
One of the ways these companies do this is by creating a place where employees can play big. Are you and your team playing big?
Why Does Playing Big Matter?
We grew up thinking the workplace looks like The Office, 9 to 5 or Office Space with lots of biting, backstabbing, unproductive and honestly, people playing small. In fact, you may work in such an environment. For a long time, I thought that was what work was supposed to be like. And when you’re in that environment you have a choice: get out or you sink to the same smallness.
You can imagine my relief over the last four months as I have researched the interplay of employee wellbeing and the performance of fast growing companies. What I’ve found is these is the vast majority of these companies encourage employees to play big. [NOTE: The centerpiece of this research is over a dozen interviews with executives of companies identified by the Business Journal or Inc. Magazine as fast growing.
It turns out that companies who are growing by leaps and bounds and are the envy of their industries ARE paying attention to the environment and culture they are creating. So why does encouraging their employees to play big matter?
Benefit To The Company
As a manager or executive why do you want your employees to play big? Employees who play big . . .
• Get more done • Contribute more creativity, provide excellent customer service and innovate • Are more resilient to changes in the marketplace and customer demands • Care about and will live the mission of the organization • Are more flexible and nimble • Are more engaged in your mission and vision
Benefit To The Employee
As an employee, why would you want to play big in your career? People who play big at work . . .
• Get promoted more often • Get the plum assignments • Get compensated more • Feel more fulfilled because they contribute more • Have a bigger voice in the organization • Have more energy and better health because they feel part of something bigger • Are happier
What Does It Look Like To Play Big?
Now that you see why playing big at work is important, what the heck does playing big look like? In general, playing big means leading. Specifically, people who play big at work . . .
• Speak up, even when it feels risky • Ask for support, even if they’ve been denied help before, but only after exhausting all other resources to get things done • Admit they don’t know something and set out to learn it or find someone who knows how to do it • Go the extra mile to deliver excellent customer service • Go the extra mile to save money while producing an excellent result • Ask how they can support others in getting the job done • Are fully engaged in the mission of the organization • Lead regardless of their title
How To Get Your Employees (Or Yourself) To Play Bigger
The bottom line is employees who play bigger and contribute to the bottom line are more energized. There are numerous ways to create an energized workplace and in this article I’m focusing on those factors that will encourage you and your employees to play bigger.
Now before you say, I’m not a manager or executive so this doesn’t apply to me, stop. The things that managers can do to get their team to play bigger are the same things you can do to play bigger in your own career.
The strategies that came out of the research on employee wellbeing and company growth showed that to get your employees (or yourself) to play bigger . . . • Acknowledge the work of your employees, team mates and boss • Know what’s important to your employees, co-workers and boss and honor that in your words and action • Be flexible • Keep your word to your employees, co-workers and bosses • Stay calm and collected • Treat your employees, co-workers and boss with respect • Actively listen to your employees, co-workers and boss • Ask questions so you know you truly understand your employees, co-workers and boss, i.e., don’t assume anything • Manage your energy so you are sharp and avoid crashing and burning • Encourage your employees (or your self) to network • Master time so you can get more done in less time • Invest and engage in professional or personal growth for you and your employees
A workforce that is playing big is unstoppable. They set the pace in the industry and they deliver excellence. The world is moving too fast to play small. It’s time to play bigger. Your future depends on it. Your company’s future depends on it. Get out there and lead.
And if you are playing small in your career and need to energize your leadership, career and life, join me for Lean In-Lean Back: Do I Have To Choose, Create Your Leadership Roadmap For Career And Life and get back on track.
FREE PDF Guide to Women in Leadership
Executive Coach Dana Theus shares her tried and true strategies to help women excel in higher levels of leadership and achieve their executive potential.
Feeling like a victim of office politics is more common than you think—but staying stuck in that mindset keeps you from recognizing your power and learning the rules of the game.
Office politics isn’t evil; it’s just human dynamics in action—who gets to decide what, how praise is handed out, and what behaviors get rewarded. And yes, it’s everywhere.
Opting out of the political game might feel like the high road, but it also means giving up your chance to influence outcomes—and missing a big opportunity for personal and professional growth.
When you start trusting yourself and asking directly for what you need—authority, respect, clarity—you’ll often find people were waiting for you to claim that space all along.
The tough stuff (micromanagement, favoritism, feeling sidelined) is often the exact terrain where you reclaim your voice, clarify your values, and come out stronger, wiser, and more in charge of your own path.
Want to explore how to identify and shift your own political dynamics at work?
Sometimes my clients start falling into a pattern, and it gives me an opportunity to look more deeply at common challenges we all face. Lately, too many of my clients have fallen into the “victim of office politics” trap. This looks different for each person, but in every case it feels like several people you work with are conspiring against you to undermine your credibility and impact.
What is Office Politics Anyway?
As I’ve written before about office politics, it’s little more than the human group dynamic associated with the particular “game” you’re playing with other people in your office. Every group of humans who take on a common cause–office, organizations, communities, families, countries–falls into patterns of behavior that dictate who gets ahead and who gets behind. The “political” dynamic we fall into reflects at least the following:
What it takes to “win” (and “lose”)
Who is most attractive and worthy of praise (physically and otherwise)
What behavior is rewarded (and penalized)
Who makes decisions and how they get made
How do the rules get decided, changed and enforced?
What are the “rules” for all the above?
Within these “rules”, people play the game of trying to get on top, or at least find a comfortable place to be somewhere in the middle. No one really wants to be on the bottom. These things are often written off as “culture,” but the political dimension is more observable and results in clear winners and losers. Office politics, unlike democratic politics, does not usually involve an actual ballot or vote, but it works by similar rules: the people who make the rules tend to get the most votes.
And when you’re in any political system that you feel doesn’t reflect your values, in which you’re at a disadvantage, or where you feel deliberately victimized, the idea of “playing the game” to try to win is pretty unpleasant. As a victim of office politics, it’s very easy to start to feel powerless and to act powerlessly. It feels terrible and causes you to question who you are, whether you’re in the right career path and what your value is.
Learning to Play the Game of Office Politics Can Help You
Even successful people fall into the office politics trap and begin to feel persecuted by both their colleagues and the Universe. Why?
I believe that these kinds of career experiences–painful as they are–help us learn lessons critical to our future success. Based on my own experience and the experiences of my clients, I think the office politics quagmire gives us a special gift, which is to learn to stand up for our values and grapple with forces out of our control. It gives us the opportunity to learn new games and new rule systems, which, once we master them, can help us get ahead.
Why learn to play the game? Aren’t games supposed to be fun? Too often, the game of office politics is not fun. It’s a fair question to ask yourself–whether you want to play the game of politics or not. But here’s the catch: every office you go to has games; the question is whether it’s the game you want to play. Too many of us quite the game before we start playing. We waste the opportunity to learn new strategies for winning and getting ahead. And that’s a shame.
Women, in particular, can opt out of a game they perceive to be advantaging “the white male standard,” and fail to learn important lessons for career success.
Lesson Learned: Trust yourself and ask for what you need
Office Politics and Decision-Making
One of the main areas office politics can affect is who gets to make decisions and how they get made. Organizations fall into ‘habits’ when it comes to decision-making. Decisions come with risk and many people don’t want to take risk, so some organizations make it easy to opt out of risk-taking. But just because the politics of the organization make it easy to do something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do, for the organization or for your career.
One client I worked with – after a phenomenally successful start to her career managing big box retail business – went through a two and a half year lull where in two different firms, her business title was very impressive to outside parties but internally, she experienced serious micromanagement. Once the second job began to feel similar to the first, she sought me out and we began to unpack what was happening and how she could gain decision authority again to make the impact she wanted to make. She realized that after so long battling these challenging career and office politics dynamics, she’d lost confidence in herself and stopped standing up for herself effectively with her bosses.
Letting go of the triggers that kept her timid in the face of politics, she got back on track and started asking her bosses in very straight-forward ways for decision authority. To her surprise, her bosses did a 180 and pulled back on the micromanagement. Apparently, they told her, they were just waiting for her to step up and stop asking permission.
When I asked her what that long spell of disempowering work situations had taught her, she realized that she’d not only forgotten how to stand up for herself and her values, but she’d learned that she shouldn’t trust others to look out for her interests. She had to do that for herself. She placed her trust in herself and realized that the Universe had given her these chances to learn that very important lesson. She also learned that just because office politics can cower others into refusing to take risks, it didn’t require it of her.
Office Politics and Favoritism
Another client had a very different kind of office politics to confront. Her boss had pitted her against a coworker by taking sides in disagreements and redefining her job description to remove all client-facing authority. In doing so, he’d also crossed some ethical lines that my client felt strongly about. In our work together, she got clear on what was important to her, she let go of the fear of standing up for what she believed and released the anger that clouded her thinking so she could take a strong, ethical and personally meaningful stand. By standing up for the ethics that mattered to her, without anger, she was able to negotiate a successful redefinition of her job responsibilities.
Even though at the low point she felt like the Universe was conspiring with her boss, by the time she’d stood up for what mattered to her and thereby adjusted the office politics dynamics around her, she felt the Universe has conspired with her to put her in a place where she felt back in the driver’s seat of her career.
So if you’re feeling victimized by office politics (or anything else), and if you trust the Universe to be delivering you opportunities (even painful ones) to grow – what do you need to stand up for? How can you trust yourself more? If you trusted yourself more, what would you do on your own behalf? What would you ask for?
Sometimes we think we’re steering our careers, but in reality, we might just be going along for the ride—letting employers, bosses, or life circumstances nudge us off course without realizing it.
Acting out of frustration or urgency—like leaping from one job to another without a real plan—can backfire, even when we have the best intentions.
Being intentional about each career move, like our guest Sharon Miller, can lead to better fits and long-term satisfaction—mindful choices matter.
Culture and relationships often outweigh job titles or skillsets when it comes to long-term happiness and success in a role—so don’t underestimate them.
Before making a change, it’s worth asking: am I choosing wisely, or just reacting? Slowing down might just save you from that next fire you didn’t see coming.
I think we all assume that we do it, but sometimes we may coast a bit:
Let our employer make some career decisions for us
Let our bosses guide us a little more than we should
Let our situation in life pull us into directions we don’t really want to go.
We may act impulsively, reactively, or just negatively in response to what’s happening in our current job, only making our situation worse in the end. (I think we’ve all jumped from the frying pan into the fire at some point – with good intentions, of course.)
We have a real treat for this episode: we’ll be interviewing someone who has managed her career with mindful and thoughtful decisions, always heading towards a promising future. Sharon Miller is a marketing professional in the San Francisco Bay Area who has worked in a number of companies, always finding a great fit – or better – for each job. She will be sharing her experiences and advice for what you should consider before you make a change.
Some topics we’ll discuss:
How to determine the right next step
The importance of company culture in a decision for where to go next
Choose the right position or choose the right culture?
The value of relationships and what it means to a job search
The role of relationships in jobs today – and why building and maintaining relationships is so important (relationships and culture may be more important than skillsets)
How to adjust your job target to the right level for where you are in your journey
Rushing, desperation, and just taking a job – where you can really trip
Sharon Miller is a Silicon Valley Marketer with over 15 years in the technology sector. As a marketing generalist she has worked in a variety of corporate marketing functions. Throughout her career Sharon has been through an acquisition by HP while at 3PAR and an IPO while at Data Domain, both data storage companies. Starting her marketing career at the French software company ACI, Sharon combined her love of the French language with her passion for marketing. Foundationally, Sharon’s interest lies in her education and understanding of Sociology, bringing a humanistic approach to the workplace with a strong sense of teamwork fostering productivity amongst her peers and building relationships across the organization at all levels. Sharon holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from the University of California, Santa Cruz.
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Coaching Tips: How to Avoid the Most Common Career Mistakes
Fear of failure is sneaky—it creeps into our dreams, our self-talk, and our leadership style, convincing us we’re impostors just waiting to be exposed (usually right before a big presentation).
We all have an “inner loser”—that voice whispering that we’re not good enough—and ironically, the harder we try to silence her, the louder she becomes.
Our brains are wired to interpret emotional risks like failure as physical threats, which sends us into performance mode and keeps us from showing up as our real, relatable selves.
The most authentic leaders aren’t perfect; they’re just real. They’ve made peace with their flaws and share them openly, which builds trust and makes space for others to do the same.
Embracing your inner loser doesn’t weaken you—it unlocks your actual strength. Owning your imperfections lets you lead with less fear, more courage, and a lot more humanity.
Does fear of failure hold you back?
True story. A few months ago I had a rather large speaking engagement. It was with an audience larger than I usually speak in front of, with content I hadn’t delivered before. The night before the conference I set the alarm for 6 am. I was to meet the conference organizers at 7:30 am for an 8:30am start. Next thing I know it is 8:30am and I am just waking up. First, I can’t find the shoes I’m supposed to wear. Next, I can’t find my car keys. When I find my car keys, my car has disappeared from the garage. I can feel my heart about to jump out of my chest. Finally, I wake up and it’s 4 AM in the morning. Does this ever happen to you? It’s basic fear of failure. And for us to be more authentic leaders, we need to embrace our inner loser. Here’s why.
Fear of Failure and The Inner Loser
We all have an inner loser. She lurks just underneath telling us we’re phony when we smile brightly and make small talk at cocktail parties. At least mine does that. She reminds us of our greatest fears – of not being enough, of failing when the spotlight is on us. The more I try to suppress her, the larger she becomes.
Our fear of failure is completely normal and served our ancestors well. If our cavemen ancestors failed to notice the lioness stalking, they faced some dire consequences. Our bodies have thus evolved to put ourselves in high alert when we detect threats. The problem is that our brains haven’t evolved to distinguish between physical threats and threats to our self-esteem. This state of threat inhibits our performance, creativity, productivity, empathy, and ability to collaborate with others. That’s just great. Pass the Valium.
How Fear of Failure Undermines Authentic Leadership
The problem with failure is that we take ours very personally. The inner critic says, “Gosh, if I fail at this, it means that I mustn’t be good enough, and if I’m not good enough then no one will love me.” It comes from our basic survival mechanism as mammals where in order to survive, we needed to be loved and taken care of by others. We all have a secret suspicion that we’re really losers and no one will love us if we let them see our inner loser.
This fear keeps us in “performance mode”. It prevents us from letting our guard down with others. The most self-assured and authentic leaders are not afraid to be vulnerable, to show their flaws, to share their failures. That’s because they are already comfortable with their inner loser and know that their inner loser is part of the shared human experience, and in no way undermines their fundamental self-worth.
Leadership Practice – Embrace Your Inner Loser
A critical step to be more authentic in our leadership is to get comfortable with not being perfect. Here is an exercise I’ve tried that helps me embrace my inner loser. Get yourself a piece of paper and write down:
“I know that I am not perfect because (list past failure or “fatal flaw”), but I know I’m okay anyway because (list some things that are strengths, accomplishments etc).”
This exercise is a great one for giving ourselves a break. We may not be perfect but we can still be okay. It takes the sting out of failure because we don’t attach failure to our basic worthiness. Writing it down was hard for me. Reading it out loud several times helped. Then saying it in front of someone else is the real challenge, but it gets easier with time.
Here are some examples of sentences I wrote for myself:
“That wasn’t the perfect coaching session because we didn’t accomplish our original objectives, but I am still okay because the client had a couple of big aha moments.”
“I’m not the best presenter because I didn’t have the best cadence or posture, but I am still okay because I connected with the audience – people came up to me to tell me how inspired they were by what I shared.”
Our authenticity is the source of our power
As we let go of the need to be perfect every time, we have less anxiety, take more risks, and start to see challenge as a learning opportunity vs. a proving opportunity. We can also appreciate the complimentary skill sets of others while accepting their flaws. As we get more comfortable in our own skin, we can help others be more comfortable in theirs.
Once we accept ourselves with our flaws, it doesn’t make us complacent. It actually helps us move forward with greater confidence. Ironically, accepting ourselves just as we are is the greatest catalyst to our own growth. Embracing our inner loser unleashes our inner superhero – because we are less afraid to just be ourselves. Stepping into our authenticity is stepping into our real power. Getting comfortable with our flaws is part of the journey of transformational leadership.
Break Free from Emotional Triggers
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When you’re emotionally triggered, your reactions to stressful situations (and people) feel out of control. All the stress reduction in the world can’t help you if your emotional triggers are in charge. These 3 lessons will get you back in the driver’s seat.
It’s tough to bring a grounded, realistic voice into leadership conversations—especially in sales-driven cultures where optimism is currency—but doing so doesn’t have to make you the team downer.
Speaking hard truths without sounding negative is a learned skill; if you always sound like the realist in a room full of cheerleaders, you risk being seen as the obstacle—not the ally.
You don’t have to fake enthusiasm, but you do need to understand that optimism plays a real role in getting things done—share concerns carefully and choose your audience wisely.
Language matters. Reframe negatives with constructive vocabulary—saying “We’ll miss the target” won’t land as well as “Missing the optimistic goal could have real consequences we should get ahead of.”
When you learn to balance realism with tact and strategy, you shift from the person who’s “bringing the mood down” to the one others look to for clarity and confidence.
Many women I coach struggle with bringing a non-brash, practical and effective voice to leadership conversations. Especially when you’re in an overly optimistic sales-focused Corporate Culture, it’s too easy to become the person who sounds like they’re holding everyone back simply by asking the team to focus on reality – the Negative Nelly. (Hockey Stick projections, anyone?)
I know. I was this person for much of my career. And until I learned how to avoid the Debbie Downer persona, it lost me credibility among my higher ups, and at least one promotion I know of.
But what do you do if you can’t bring yourself to say things you don’t mean?
Tips for not being a negative nelly
Know that positivity and optimism are often key to success. Express your most serious doubts privately and publicly engage in optimistic thinking while mitigating risk.
Find a way to communicate negative information with positive vocabulary (for example instead of saying, “We’ll never make such unrealisitic targets,” say “Missing optimistic targets might result in layoffs and invite more investor scrutiny,” instead.
When you master these diplomatic approaches to leadership discussions, you’ll be seen as part of the solution instead of the problem.
What’s your experience? What tips do you have for being positive, pragmatic and realistic all at once? Comment below.
Recognize the Evolution of Gender Traits: Many traits attributed to gender differences are socially learned rather than biologically inherent. As societal roles evolve, behaviors once considered gender-specific are increasingly adopted across genders.
Challenge Outdated Stereotypes: The notion that men and women inherently possess distinct strengths is becoming obsolete. Embracing the idea that both genders can develop a wide range of skills fosters a more inclusive and dynamic environment.
Promote Equal Opportunities for All: Advocating for women in leadership roles is essential, but it’s equally important to ensure that both men and women have equal opportunities for development and success. This approach benefits organizations and society as a whole.
Foster Collaboration Over Competition: Encouraging men and women to work together as equals in leadership positions can lead to more innovative and effective solutions. Collaboration should be prioritized over competition to harness the full potential of diverse teams.
Support Mutual Growth and Development: True progress occurs when both men and women support each other’s growth and development. This mutual respect and encouragement are vital for creating a balanced and thriving society.
For years, I have been writing about the differences in the brains of men and women. I have touted the innate strengths women bring to the workplace. I have supported communication skills training that teach us to adapt to gender-based styles.
The men in my life are indirectly teaching me that I may be wrong. Additionally, new research supports the perspective that sex differences in the brain are small. Societal assumptions work to magnify them.
If we are biologically different, then strengths should be recognized. However, if our differences are socially learned, then we might be ignoring an evolution of behavioral traits that is occurring in both men and women that is bringing us closer together.
After 15 years of studying brain-based behavioral research, I am beginning to see that many of our differences are learned. Whatever traits, habits, skills and perspective that can be learned by one gender, can definitely be learned, or unlearned and never learned, by the other. I believe the younger generations are proving this to be true. (more…)
Redefine Leadership Through Feminine Presence: Embrace a holistic, collaborative, and inclusive approach to leadership.By connecting to our experiences as wives, daughters, and mothers, we can lead with empathy and understanding, offering a different lens on leadership.
Challenge Traditional Leadership Models: Move away from the mechanistic, goal-directed, and hierarchical approaches that emphasize autonomy and glorify individual leaders.Instead, adopt a more organic, open-ended approach that values collective power and sees both the individual and the community.
Support and Elevate Other Women: Break the historical cycle of competition among women by supporting each other in mastering new skills and developing new strengths.This mutual support represents a radical act that can lead to positive social change.
Learn from Inspirational Figures: Take inspiration from leaders like Wangari Maathai, who demonstrated the power of feminine presence by responding to the needs of rural women and creating the Green Belt movement, leading to the planting of over 30 million trees.
Recognize the Power of Feminine Presence: Understand that feminine presence is a source of strength and wisdom.By cultivating this presence, women can lead with authenticity and make a significant impact in their communities and beyond.
Women’s history month celebrates the accomplishment of women in history, many of them unsung and many still unknown. But it is also a time to consider how women can continue to make history. One way to do that is to redefine leadership by cultivating a feminine presence in the workplace and in our communities.
In my search for just the right words to express the feminine style of leadership I encountered during my interviews with so many successful women leaders, whom I call Iron Butterflies, from all walks of life, I eventually settled on the phrase “feminine presence.” The phrase encompasses a woman’s preference for a holistic perspective over a compartmentalized one, for collaboration over self-interest and for inclusion over exclusion. If women are truly connecting to their experiences as wives, daughters, mothers, we will see leadership through a different lens. In other words, a woman who wishes to develop her leadership skills, whether it be at a PTA meeting or a board meeting, should not rely on the male traits so often associated with conventional leadership but should instead, draw power from her natural feminine presence. Every woman has an opportunity and responsibility to take the lead and redefine leadership.
How you master your environment, how you deal with the unexpected and unknown, those unavoidable vulnerable moments of uncertainty, defines your character. It also characterizes your leadership, be it in business, in politics or any other type of social organization or context. The traditional masculine style of leadership deals with vulnerability and the challenges it poses in a singular way, emphasizing autonomy and glorifying the leader himself. It values and implements a mechanistic, goal-directed, hierarchical approach that engages linear thinking to fix problems, and compartmentalizes people into specific slots with specific labels. It’s all about certainty in an uncertain world.
In contrast, feminine presence adopts a holistic approach that sees both the one and the many. It invites and nurtures the whole person in a larger context, engages collective power to overcome obstacles and adopts a more organic, open-ended learn-as-you-go approach to achieving objectives. Often this natural and organic approach to challenges creates alternative, novel, environments that counter the entrenched domination culture and challenge the status quo. However, this style of leadership often remains unseen and unrecognized.
A feminine presence serves to enhance all women’s capabilities, to elevate women who have not yet enjoyed their share of freedom, opportunities, and power. Women supporting women in mastering new skills and developing new strengths represents a radical act because it breaks a long historical cycle of women in competition with each other. Historically, patriarchy separated women from each other by positioning them to compete with each other for men, for jobs, for resources. Think about it. As recently as a hundred plus years ago, women couldn’t own property. By limiting women’s access to power and resources, women were limited in their opportunities to realize their full potential. While women naturally tend to support each other emotionally, they too often sublimated that tendency in the workplace. Women often haven’t learned to cover each other’s backs in the workplace. That’s changing. With so many young women participating today in team sports, women are learning the value of a group effort and mutual support. When women work together to develop themselves and each other in a nurturing, supportive environment, their combined feminine presence can accomplish more positive social change than any mechanistic problem-solver ever could.
Few women demonstrate this possibility more beautifully than the late Wangari Maathai, the Kenyan woman who won the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize. Wangari created the Green Belt movement, a project designed to counter the deforestation in her native Kenya, where a corrupt government had allowed environmental destruction to go unchecked for decades. To date, women participating in the Green Belt movement have planted more than 30 million trees. Affectionately called “tree woman,” Wangari worked right along side her sisters, her head draped in a turquoise turban resplendent with African patterns, her smile as broad as the savanna. Wangari, a well-educated and intelligent woman, won a Kennedy scholarship to the US, studied at the University of Pittsburgh, and was the first woman in Eastern and Central Africa to earn a PhD in veterinary medicine from the University of Nairobi.
She started this movement in the simplest way, by responding to the needs of rural women for firewood, animal feed, and building materials. A small action produced a powerful outcome, a hallmark of feminine presence. She showed us that we can all make a difference by simply listening and responding to the need for change in our own worlds.
Wangari invited women to solve a big problem collaboratively, engaging their natural intelligence and common sense. As she has said, “African women in general need to know that it is OK for them to be the way they are–to see the way they are as a strength, and to be liberated from fear and from silence.” This, I believe, applies to all women. Fostering the innate wisdom of feminine presence that is in all of us connects us to our strength.
Understanding the innate wisdom of the women around her, Wangari planted a seed in fertile ground. The women needed to learn about broken social structures and bad governance and their rights as women, particularly in instances of rape and child abuse. Although the solution to these social issues would take time, the women realized they could do something right away. They could stop environmental degradation. They could start planting trees, which would serve their own immediate needs while healing Mother Nature.
Of course, Wangari faced the resistance of authoritarian powers, leaders who didn’t hold themselves accountable to the Kenyan people. Over the ensuing years she was arrested several times, imprisoned, and beaten up by hired thugs. Relentlessly, she stayed the course, nurturing women’s power and mastery, and employing her own and a collective feminine presence, not only to prevail but also to win global acknowledgment for her work. Wangari had not just planted seedlings; she had sown the seeds of change.
Wangari’s story offers both a literal and a metaphorical example of the power of feminine presence. Like Wangari, women as change agents continually fly into the stone walls of domination. Sometimes they seize a hammer and smash it down, but more often they choose a less adversarial path to deeper-rooted social change. Near the wall of domination, they plant a tree, the tree of women supporting women as they unite for change. The tree takes root, and as it grows, its roots spread under the wall, their strength eventually eroding and toppling it. Like the roots of a tree, women, grounded in themselves, connected to each other, and joined together in grassroots efforts, spread the roots of feminine presence that can undo the thickest walls. And make history.
